By the way, if you ever have any questions for me [or my rat Quesa], just ask.

Cafeteria Menu:
Spaghetti w/Meat Sauce
Italian Green Beans
Side Salad

You know it's going to be a good day when spaghetti is on the menu. Even tho it's the kind with the big fat noodles and greasy meat sauce. There must be only one store in town that sells cafeteria food, cause it seems like every friggin cafeteria from here to high school serves big fat spaghetti noodles. I can just see it: a horde of lunch ladies at the Cafeteria Feed Store lining up to buy 25 lb bags of Fat-Ass-Spaghetti Noodles. Fat spaghetti noodles. That was so 5th grade ago.

On a positive note, there's nothing like a big plateful of comfort food to make you feel even better after a late night romp with your secret lover. You know the one. The one that you hide from your family. Not b/c he's ugly. He's quite attractive, according to all your jealous friends. He's just a bad boy. Grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. Represents everything your father told you to stay away from.

Yep, that's the one. I've been seeing him since about mid-Feb. Since I moved into my own apartment in April, he sleeps over about 2 times a week. He's a manly man. Likes muscle cars and has tattoos. Likes meat and potatoes and thinks guys with highlights are gay. Likes movies with shooting and car chases and naked girls. Hates to talk about his feelings, except when he's drunk. Will never admit that he likes me as much as I like him, but when we are in bed, he holds me like he doesn't ever want to let go.

It's very bitter sweet. Our tumultuous on-again off-again relationship has seen more drama than most ten year marriages. Technically, we haven't slept with anyone else since we've been seeing each other, but to imply to him that we might be becoming more than just "friends", sends him running away like a spooked deer. So, we keep it as friends. But we both know it is much more than that.

I went to the Pub Crawl on Friday night with the guy I met online. I had such a horrible time. I knew it. But, a girl can't pass up free booze. He recently bought a 2005 Infinite G35 coupe. This is supposed to impress me. Not when you sit closer to the wheel and higher in the seat than my grandmother does in her Chevy Malibu. It was disgusting. They should pre-screen the buyers of these cars.
Oh, and he showed up at my door wearing those awful teva sandals that were two and a half sizes too big for his feet. These sandals were meant for athletic people, people that hike in the summer, people that are height/weight proportioned. Absolutely not for bar hopping. That is a closed-toe affair.
We get to the pub and it is completely crowded. So we go to the next one. Not crowded, but we have to sit outside. I am sweating like a big fat greasy hog. It is not a very becoming look for a girl. We meet his friends. Very, very cool guys. Very, very fat guys. Despite their appearance, they provided much more intelligent conversation than internet guy. I don't normally surround myself with ugly people such as internet guy and his friends. It was funny because everytime my eyes would stray to check out the cute guys at the pubs we went to, he would lightly squeeze my hand until I looked back at him. I just can't stand it.

Cafeteria Menu:
Beef and Cheese Raviolis

Raviolis? Are we six? We work in a huge corporate office for christ sakes! Is this the best they can do? I hate the cooks. And their hotwings aren't even spicy.

I met this guy two weeks ago thru one of those online dating sites. I don't usually do that. I'm not a big fan of internet dating sites. I like to see how many hits I can get. Occasionally, you find someone intelligent enough to hold a conversation with. So I gave him my email address. Wrong decision. He emails me once. Then he emails me again to ask why I haven't replied to the first email. Then he emails me five mins after that to say "hello?". I can't be replying to you every friggin second. Sure I have nothing better to do here than to surf the internet and check email all day, but sometimes vendors come in, sometimes I help other depts with paperwork, sometimes I have OTHER people to talk to besides YOU. I'll get to you when I get to you. Geez.
So, I overlook his obvious traits of obsessiveness.
We chat for a few days via email. He is intelligent, witty, makes good money, makes really good money, drives a new car, does not live with his folks, and is getting his masters. So far so good. So I give him my phone number.
That night he calls me five times. Once to tell me he will call me on his way home. Once to tell me he is on his way home and will call me when he gets home. Once when he gets home. Once to call me back b/c his mom called and he had to let me go *red flag*. Once to call me and wish me good night.
So, I agree to meet him.
He said he was 5'7''. I don't date short guys normally. I hate it. But, I thot if this guys is as witty as he sounds on the phone and makes the money that I think he does, then it'll work itself out.
When he got to my door, he was 5'5''. Maybe shorter.
He was wearing a tight black shirt with a gold chain.
He took me to his house.
He has a lime green couch. It's not really a couch. It's twelve lime green squares that you can arrange to look like a couch.
He has a porn collection and pictures of jesus scattered on his walls.
He suggested we watch "mona lisa smile".
He spilled steak sauce on his pants at dinner.
He calls me "hon" and "babe".
He tucks in his t-shirts.
He doesn't wear a belt.
He wears tevo sandals.
He wears baggy jeans, and not the cool jeans, the ones with the tapered legs.
His mom hires a maid for him.
His house is a wreck.
He likes to plant roses.
His mom comes over and does his laundry.
He wore the tight black shirt again on our third date.
He numbers our dates. (that's how I know it was our third date)


This is the problem with online dating services. I'm going out tonight to a pub crawl with him. Hopefully, I'll meet someone else in the process.

Ok, I know I'm the corporate slave around here. I mean, face it - I'm the lobby receptionist for god's sake. My day consists of yes, ma'am this..and no, sir that...good morning [name of company]...good afternoon, [name of company]...can i get you a pen...sure, i'll throw that trash away for you..
But don't come in here bossing me around, talking about "get this person on the phone" or "see that this person gets this resume". I WORK for HR. I know people who know people. If you want to get your resume past me, you're gonna have to try harder than that. Kiss my ass a little more.
And no more incompetent morons handing me 7 page booklet resumes. This does NOT work. Who the hell told you to make a SEVEN PAGE resume, anyways??? That person should be fired. Unless you thought of it yourself, then you should never have the chance to work here. Anyone with a 7 page resume makes me think something is really wrong with you. What could you write about for 7 pages??? that would make me want to hire you. [of course i don't do the hiring, but I have before...and I've fired people before].
Maybe you had too many jobs. Don't list more than three jobs on your resume. Makes me think you're unstable.
Maybe you want to list all the courses you took in college. Don't. Everyone takes a business course. This is America. Everyone takes some sort of math class - or they should. I hate people who aren't good at math. It's very disappointing. And if it's lower than Calc II, then don't even mention it. And Business Algebra doesn't count. It's not given by the math dept.
Maybe you want to mention all the "skills" you have. Only list what is pertinant to the job at hand. Everyone has "computer skills". Five billion people have a yahoo account. A monkey can get a yahoo account. "Computer skills" does not sound impressive. Tell me what you can do. Tell me that you can "Create financial documents".

Whatever the reason behind handing in a seven page resume, don't.

The internet will be the death of me. Well, atleast, it will probably get me into trouble here at work. I can almost sense it. It's taking over my life. It's absorbing all my attention and energy. In the morning, I can't wait to sit at my desk and check my email. First I check my work email because I have a friend that only emails me on my work email. And then I check my yahoo account. I browse thru houston freecycle posts and ratlist posts and astros game updates and eonline news. Then I catch up on my fav blog, it's like ally mcbeil but thru a staunch male point of view. Then I catch up on a few astros blogs, like this one. I then wander thru the world of online shopping. Any store dot com is fair game.
This wouldn't happen if I had a computer and internet at home.
This morning, two employees were standing at my desk for atleast 4 minutes and finally had to say "excuse me" to get me to notice them. I was so enthralled with my fav blog - I just found it on the web yesterday and I have two years worth of bloggs to catch up on. They are probably going to report me. I heard all the chicks in merchandising are catty. They say "excuse me" cause they haven't bothered to learn my name in the month and a half that I've been there. That's it - all their calls are going to IT.

Here at the Corporate Office, I am the front lobby secretary, and as applicants come in to interview, they have to fill out an official application. I love this part of my job. I get to spy on all the applicants before they even get their foot in the door. I only read five parts:
1. The position applied for. This tells me what they are in for. straight forward.
2. The salary requested. It has always been told to me that it is rather pretentious to ask for any kind of salary, and rather risky. If you ask for too little, they might think you are unqualified for the position, maybe you don't have that much experience or maybe you think your own work isn't worth the big bucks. If you ask too much, maybe they will overlook you, because you don't fit their budget, or they might think you are too high on yourself and that might be a turnoff all together. I was always taught to put "open" next to salary. Sell yourself, then use your attributes as leverage for as high a salary as they are willing to pay. Get more than you got at your last job, but don't reach too high and get the infamous "don't call us , we'll call you", cause that's a sure sign you blew it.
3. The section that says "list any school memberships, or acheivements". This one is my fav. If I were a hiring manager for HR, I would base my decision solely on this little tid bit of info right here. And this section is the smallest on the whole application. It looks like no one cares what you write there or don't write there. Like they will look at your work hist and your masters degree and offer you a pos. Well, if I had anything to do with it, I would look at all the little things that IMO matter much more than degrees. I always put my acheivments from past jobs. I even put the *meaningless* award I got on my first job called "marketing people pleaser award" ...(no lude comments please). I don't even know what I got this for, but whatever. I got a tshirt and a piece of paper with my name on it. I also list any sales awards and, since I have them, my internship awards. I would like to put my school memberships, but I'm afraid late nights and free booze washed away all memories of the club meetings.
4. Hobbies. Now this is a tricky one. You only want to put sophisticated or sympathy-reeling entries here. You can't put "cars" or "sewing"...too ghetto and too boring, respectively. I would accept "baking" or "volunteer work", as long as you don't say "american red cross volunteer" if all you did was give blood once on campus cause they gave you a free shirt. I like to put "Small Animal Rescue". If they want, they can look it up. I have a registered yahoo group (which doesn't mean much cause a monkey with internet access could have a group on yahoogroups), but it gets the job done. Listing "small animal rescue" suddenly transforms me from a paper resume into a breathing human who would be kind and respectful in a work environment. haha...fooled them again!
5. Additional info. Be careful again. You DO NOT put things like " I love your company" or " I shop at your store". Cheesiness will get you NO WHERE. I usually put things that you can find at the bottom of my resume that I know no one looks at. Things like "speak, read, and write in Spanish", or "took courses in Business Management and Calc 1 and 2", just little tid bits that make the HR dept think...hmmm... this person paid attention in school and really learned something.

This is not meant as advise in any way, just a random observation from all the applicants I see walk thru here. I can pretty much tell who's going to get thru and who's resume is going in the trash when they leave.
MWAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!!!

Well, now that I've done some intros, let's jump right into the alligator pit:

I have a brand new job at the corporate office for some well-known retail department stores around the country. For the sake of my job, I won't name names. some guy got fired for talking about his job on his blog. I am the executive administrator to the human resources department....translation = receptionist extrodinaire.

I love it...it's the best job I could ever have. You meet new people everyday, and don't have to worry about stress or competitiveness ( I was previously in sales management in the car industry for 3+ years and the retail industry for 5+ years before that) ...got very cut throat.

Hi there!
Tis me here blogging for the first time. I'm not a computer geek, I don't know special techy language or even how to make this page fancy. That's not what this is about. This is about the life of a horribly single but lovable, squeezable, always dependable, bendable, foldable, do-what-your-told-able, crazy chick in Houston. I have many flaws, but will only admit to one at a time.

Let's start with some intros:

"me": 25, single and hating it, 3 years at UT Austin - no degree, 1 year UH Main - no degree, 1/2 year at San Jac - you guessed it, no degree. I have the patience of a two year old (thanks mom) so I never get things done on time, if at all. And even tho I have no degree, I consider myself smarter than the average graduate. Time and time again, I have out-performed many a college grad at work.
"mom": 40something, got married two days after her 18th birthday, control-freak to say the least, and overall good intentions with the wrong approach.
"dad": 50something, got married a month and a half after meeting my mom, WHEN DID YOU PROPOSE? THE SECOND DATE???..geez. Perfectionist, controlling, (my parents only fight about which child to control more), calm cool and collected...but behind closed doors....

I have a few pets. One for which this blogg was named.

"Quesa Dilla": a crazy little beige hooded rat. Yup, that's right, I said RAT!! She's the first pet I've ever owned. She is two years old and still kickin! (rats are only supposed to live like 2-3 years.)
"Loca Rat": i know what you're thinkin. why did she name this one loca when the other one is her "crazy little ..rat". Well, personalities change over time and these two ratties completely did 180s with age. As a youngin, loca was...well...loca. she would popcorn (bounce) all over the place and she would scare easily and she loved to follow my hand everywhere. Now that she's one year old, she is the more laid back of the two.

Here's a little about myself and if you have any questions, please ask!
-I like chocolate, but not chocolate icecream
-I love baseball, but don't keep up with stats and all that mumbo jumbo..
-I secretly like the color pink
-The only think I ever order at Starbucks is Hot Chocolate
-I've lied about having a degree to my friends, but never to job interviews
-I had a beta fish that lived 3 and a half years, and in three different cities, named King Kobe
-I am pro-life, i think..
-I am anti-war, i think...
-I like comedy clubs
-I love enchiladas
-I am a reality show junkie
-I wish I had cable
-My fav band is Barenaked Ladies, who incidentally are not ladies and are hardly naked..
-My fav movie is a tie between (and you're gonna laugh) Pretty Woman and The Fifth Element