Today's Lunch Plans:
Lunch here with Hot Massage Guy, The Cuz, and some friends from work.
I forgot my rings again. And you know what happened last time I did that.
Today is not a good day to have a bad day. I have too much shit planned today. I have lunch plans. There's a sample sale here at the office. I have plans with my Ex tonight. I have a singing Christmas mouse on my desk. Things. Cannot. Go. Wrong.
Good morning, everybody. It's time for a little segment I call:
Welcome to My World.
-This is "Fuckus".
-He was born Jan 11, 2005.
-He is a small car with a big attitude.
-He has a Napoleon complex.
-He's got a manly scar on his bumper from when I tried to use him to stop a gate from closing. [Didn't work, by the way]
-He likes going to Taco Bell.
-He has a Jack Ball on his antenna.
-He is metallic.
-He hates it when I play Justin Timberlake [aka, Mr. J.T.]
-He almost lost an ear [side mirror] once.
-His windshield wipers are temperamental.
-I made him hang a Yankee Candle air freshner on his mirror cause sometimes he stinks.
-He tries to run over spawn all the time.
-He check to see if curbs are still there.
-He broke one of his fog lights when he got in a fight with a rock.
-He likes to race kids on bikes.
-He has a big trunk.
-He wants personalized plates that say: USUCK.
-He thinks he would be sexier if he was a truck.
-He giggles when I tell people that it's easy to drive cause his seats are high.
-He doesn't like Mr. Blinker cause he's too loud.
-He says cars with small tires can still get chicks.
His gnarly scar.
posted by DaMasta @ 8:42 AM
18 Comments:
LOL - Don't blame him with not liking Justin Timberlake!
My car is still sad because her radio got stolen a while back and I have yet to replace it.
OMG!! You are so freaking funny!!
My van actually lost an ear(passenger side mirror) during the tragic "the road is too narrow for two way traffic and this illegally parked Trail Blazer incident of 2003."
Bs, he really prefers Eminem. Sooommmetimes, he'll go for a little Selena, but he absolutely loathes Barenaked Ladies.
And how can you drive to work with no music?!?! It's the only way I make it thru rush hour traffic in the morning.
Snav, Fuckus has almost lost many a mirror. Especially when visiting The Cuz. She lives at an apartment complex that has one of those too-damn-close-to-the-pole-near-the-gate security dial boxes.
My old car tragically lost the driver's side ear when an orange construction barrel suddenly jumped out in the middle of the highway and bit her at 3 am one day.
You need to go check out Ariella's post from a day or two ago....it's in regards to Fluffy....
my van has a bashed in ear, a crushed in front fender, a key scratch down the side. the poor girl has been through the war.
Unfortunately, my Jeep has lost one of his fancy hub cap things, he misses it to this day! I lay 100% of the blame on my husband. LOL
Damn girl, take it easy on that poor car!
And how can you drive to work with no music?!?!
I tend to sing songs aloud (poorly) that are stuck in my head or laugh about a joke that I've heard. All sorts of ways to keep entertained!
Cricketina, I feel ya sister. The damn curbs in Houston jump out all the time. Silly bastards, they're just cruisin' for a brusin'.
Lime, normally I'm a body shop fanatic. The minute my car has a scratch, I usually get it fixed. But Fuckus is an ass, so he gets treated like every other man in my life - leave the pieces for someone else to pick up.
Who doesn't loath the BNL's?
If I ever get stuck in the same car as you, I'm driving...
I've never had a man drive my car.
Might be a good change of pace.
I am not posting a pic of my midlife crisis car.....
but i like his high seats
I think Fuckus and Rafiki are friends. In fact, I'm certain they are.
I'm going around saying "hi" to everybody on my blog list today.
Hi Erica!
He's gnarly...but since he has a jack ball (hopefully the snowman) its all good...he looks better than mine...
my car is pretty relaxed. as long as you don't try to drive too far, run low on gas, run the heat or ac, turn, use signals, or anything else you may do while driving.
Good post !
Now that was funny.
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