quesadillas for breakfast

Thank you to the little people who made this blog possible.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Today's Cafeteria Menu:
Chicken Parmasean
Italian Green Beans

It's like Seseame Street. Which one of those things doesn't belong? Which one of those things just doesn't go with the others? I'm thinking the potatoes spoke Mexican to the cooks just so they could get on the menu today.

Last night, before I went to sleep, it was about 69 degrees outside. So I kept the air conditioner on. [I like it a frosty 65 degrees in my house]. This morning when I woke up, it was a blistering 32 degrees outside. So there I was trapped under the covers with the a/c on. So I stayed in bed until the last posible minute, and then ran to the living room and turned the heater on right before I froze to death. Whew. That was too close for comfort.

It's really starting to bug me that consumers are getting angry about retailers saying "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas", or "Holiday Sale" vs. "Christmas Sale." I don't want to get into it on this blog, so please don't flame me in the comments. [Besides, Holiday comes from Latin words meaning Holy Day]. Listen, I think calling it Holidays is a way to avoid alienating certain religions and from a business stand point, expand our demographic. Whether you call it Christmas or Chrismahanakwanzica, this time of the year should be about the joy of the season, shopping at all the One Day sales you can find, and more importantly, my birthday. I love this time of year. I love the Chrismas songs being played in the stores. I love entertaining family and friends [mostly with my stories of disappointment and tragedy]. I love blowing my paycheck on my Secret Santa at work. I love it all. So just remember that however you celebrate this season, allow yourself to enjoy the company of others, however different they may be from you.

Duties I Perform Each Day Because I Have No Actual Duties to Perform Each Day:

1. Find time to decorate my five-inch tall desktop Christmas tree with paperclips and staplers shaped like stars.

2. Count the number of people who have the runs on Mexican food Thursdays.

3. Wonder why the hell we need 18 fucking wreaths in the building.

4. Try to explain to Loss Prevention why it is I keep taking pictures of objects on my desk every Wednesday.

5. Try to flirt my way into free samples with all the vendors. So far, just a free shirt and some cookies. Note to self: Show more boob.

6. Try to explain to dim HR chick that if she keeps missing work then, yes, she just might get fired.

7. Try to spell out “Bah Humbug” on my desk using only my candy cane pens.

8. Try to figure out who glued a Hershey’s kiss to the top of my computer.

9. Answer the phone “Happy Holidays” just to see how many people I can piss off.

10. Stalk all my blog lurkers and scare them into leaving a comment. I’m serious. Leave a comment or your dog Fluffy gets it.


Blogger bsoholic said...

No not little Fluffy! Nooooooooooo.....

Merppy Chrismahanakwanzicairthday!!?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 7:17:00 AM  
Blogger snavy said...

A Very Merpy Chrismahanakwanzica to you Damasta! I put my tree up and am forcing my self to listen to Christmas/Holiday/Seasonal music.

Jimmy Buffett singing Jingle Bells just makes me giggle!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 8:02:00 AM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

Anyone singing Jingle Bells makes me giggle. Especially that country group She Daisy. Weird.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 8:22:00 AM  
Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

Oh god, in Vegas this weekend, was the annual gigantic rodeo.....thousands of cowboys! So, we got to hear christmas music, country music and christmas country music all weekend! Yuck!

Did you know there's a country song about a woman that dreams she's a dancer, free of cancer?

I'm sorry, I don't wanna listen to songs about cancer...

Anyway have fun rearranging your candy canes@

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 8:44:00 AM  
Blogger Ameratis said...

Howdy! I must get me some candy cane pens! No one calls me so can't answer Happy Holidays....poo. (Everyone avoids the accountant)
Please...take fluffy! :)
Great Blog, just found it through bsoholic, so yay to him!

The Imp

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 10:00:00 AM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

ACK! I don't wanna hear about a dancer with cancer petting Prancer going out with Lance-r, either. That's really over the top, even for country.

Yay, BS!

Thanks for stopping by, Ameratis. You got here just in time. Fluffy has been spared.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 11:13:00 AM  
Blogger Cricketina said...

Christmas time rocks!! And if I ever named an animal Fluffy, I should be the one who gets it.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 11:15:00 AM  
Blogger mrshife said...

I glued the kiss to your desk. And the song you guys are talking about is called "Skin" by Rascal Flatts. And Quincy isn't scared of you.=)

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 11:38:00 AM  
Blogger Ariella said...

Back away from the dog, dammit!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 12:08:00 PM  
Blogger Sherri said...

I stalk my blog lurkers too sometimes. LOL

The fun part is leaving comments on their blog.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 12:17:00 PM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

True dat, Cricketina. That's why I always name my pets after Mexican food. Keeps me from saying "fluffy".

Oh yeah, Shifey. I remember now. Yeah, I read about that song the other day on someone's blog. That's a shame cause I really like Rascal Flats sometimes. You named your pet Quincy?!?! OMG. You are such a snob.

Sherri, I knew that was you doing that. Dammit, you freak me out with that shit.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 12:33:00 PM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

Ariella, I'll get you my pretty...and you're little AF, too.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 12:41:00 PM  
Blogger The Village Idiot said...

Great first its my bunny..boiled before its time...and now my dog...

Whats nex..my Gerbil?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 2:47:00 PM  
Blogger lookingbusy said...

Not if it is garlic red potatoes. MMMM those are good!

When I woke up this morning, it was .... (Woah, I almost said the temperature... you could have checked the weather report and know where I live. That was close)

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 3:13:00 PM  
Blogger FU said...

My Signature on my work email says Happy Holidays! ppl haven't said it back to me yet...boohoo


Tuesday, December 06, 2005 3:35:00 PM  
Blogger Crazy Me said...

I love the holidays ... music, shopping, all of it, but do they have to put out Christmas items in freaking September?!! What is that about?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 4:07:00 PM  
Blogger DaMasta said...

Looking, I have sitemeter, I already know where you live. Mwahahahahaha!

So does mine, Fu. So does mine. I hope I piss someone off today.

Angela, don't you know? It's the Pre-Pre-Thanksgivng/Christmas/Holiday sale!


Wednesday, December 07, 2005 5:53:00 AM  
Blogger LBseahag said...

I loved the explain to loss prevention why i take photos of my desk every wednesday...

Saturday, December 10, 2005 8:35:00 AM  

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