Today's Cafeteria Menu:
Chicken Enchiladas
Rice
Beans a la charra

I am so full, I think I'm actually going to explode this time. I think I'm going to do that 101 things about myself list. If I can think of 101 things about myself that won't give away my true identity. Hmmft. This should prove to be interesting.

In the mean time, here's an oldie but goodie:

Duties I perform [after a hurricane] each day because I have No Actual duties to perform [after a hurricane] each day:

1. Tell everyone I see that I flew in a private plane to show them I'm a big balla, shot calla.

2. Tell everyone I see that I was sick like a dog every day I was in paradise...I mean, Destin, FL, so I can play up the sympathy card.

3. Wonder if answering "no" to the question "Is your house alright?" will lead to free things.

4. Daydream about how sweet it would have been if my car would have drowned and I would have been driving a brand new Mazda right now. But no, I still have my Fuckus*.

5. Thank heavens I still have my mattress.

6. Make excuses for my lack luster performance at work by stating I am "still dehydrated" from being "stuck" in Beaumont for "8 hours".

7. Realize that my co-workers missed me more than I missed them.

8. Further realize that the only reason my co-workers missed me was because they had to fill in for me while I was gone.

9. Smile, knowing that I was in paradise for six days on an all expense paid hurrication** in the most beautiful town I'd ever seen.

10. Plot to kill the person who replaced my beloved, but evil retarded llama glue stick. I don't know what this new glue stick is like. I'm thinking a rodeo cowboy. I'll have a follow up post to keep you all informed of this new glue stick's development.

*Ford Focus
**Hurrication: noun, used to describe a hurricane evacuation turned vacation. ie: There's no better place for a hurrication than beautiful Destin, FL.