Today's Cafeteria Menu:
Meatloaf
Mashed Potatoes
Corn

I guess I'll stay for the mashed potatoes.

Duties I perform each day because I have no Actual Duties to perform each day:

1. Try not to accidently eat annoying little gnat.

2. Try to figure out how grown ass people who work in a corporate office have not learned how to properly flush a toilet.

3. Try to get out of Today's Duty: Signing up people for massages.

4. Work on my English accent.

5. Realize I'm doing a Scottish accent.

6. Try to figure out if the bad caferteria eggs or stress is giving me the runs.

7. Count how many people are shorter than me here at work. So far, just one.

8. Try not to act like I'm still drunk.

9. Try to figure out why a. they only hire Indian people as telemarketers or b. why the same Indian telemarker keeps calling me asking me the same damn questions.

10. Finally kill annoying little gnat.