quesadillas for breakfast

Thank you to the little people who made this blog possible.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I heart Spinning Girl. Bring her to me.

Ain't she the greatest? She loves me and I don't even know why.
But I know that when (not if) I meet her, it will be love at first kiss.

I hope she wouldn't mind eating quesadillas for the rest of her breakfasts,
because that's the only thing I know how to make.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Southern Dent-hell

Scheduling a dentist appointment with a fucking huge ass dental company, who employs (as I found out) only the stoopidest people on the face of this Earth, shouldn't be like pulling teeth.

Here's how it all went down.


(the call first goes to the central call center. you'd have to know someone important to get to actually talk to a local office employee.)

Dumbass Dental Employee: Hello, this is Dumbass Dental Employee of Dumbass Dental Company, how may I completely avoid your question and refuse to help you?

DaMasta: Hi, I was a patient at the Dumbass Dental Company in Clear Lake a couple of years ago, and I have new insurance and such now, and I was wondering if you guys still have me on file?

DDE: Ok, sure, so you want to make an appointment?

DM: Well, no.. firs---

DDE: Yes, we have your files here, says you had United Healthcare.

DM: Well, yes, I did. But I've changed now. I have Delta Dental. And it says here that you guys take those plans.

DDE: Well, we'd have to verify your insurance. It doesn't look like it's been verified yet.

DM: Um. Right. Cause, ya know, I just called you and told you that I have different insurance.

DDE: Yes, ma'am. You used to have United Healthcare. Do you not have that any more?

DM: Um. No. But if you'll hand me that bat, maybe I can beat it in your head that I've gotten new insurance.

DDE: Excuse me, ma'am?

DM: Nevermind. Yes, I have new insurance.. do you need the 800 number and my member number to verify it?

DDE: Um.. we don't verify insurance.

DM: What?

DDE: Yeeeah, we wait for a list of people who are newly covered this month, and we haven't gotten August's list yet. You'll have to wait till we get it.

DM: I've been covered for a while. I wouldn't be on that list. Can't you just call--

DDE: I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to wait till the list comes in.

DM: So, you can't schedule me an appointment at. all. even though I have insurance?

DDE: Not until the list comes in. Or until your insurance gets verified.

DM: Listen, can you just transfer me to the local office? I'm tired of talking to you.

DDE: And what is the call regarding?

DM: WTF?!?! Um.. let's see.. it's regarding me needing to speak to someone at the local office and about you not being able to help me.

DDE: Umm... ma'am.. they won't let me transfer a call for that reason.

DM: Well then tell them whatever will get the call transfered to them.

DDE: ....

DM: Listen, you're acting like you don't want to transfer the call.

DDE: No no, it's not that..

DM: Do you even work for Southern Dental?

DDE: Ma'am, I've been working here for several years.

DM: Then transfer my call.

(My call was transfered to the local office in Clear Lake where the receptionist told me that I needed to go thru the call center to get my insurance verified and to schedule an appointment. After explaining that the representitives at the call center lacked the vital intelligence it took to perform such tasks, I was put on hold for ten minutes and no one ever picked up the line again. I then called a local private practice and in five minutes the receptionist booked an appointment and verified my insurance for me. God help the call center girl if I ever cross her path.)

Saturday, August 05, 2006

If you could read one blog for the rest of your life, would it be mine?

1. If you could only keep one of your five senses, which would you keep?
my sense of touch. i was gonna say ''sense of taste''. wait, is that a sense? but, i think it would be nice to be able to eat salads without tasting the lettuce.

2. If you had to spend one year alone in the wilderness, where would you go?
wait. what? seriously, folks, i don't do wilderness. i'm too much of a city girl. omg.. can you imagine my hair in the wilderness? puh-leeez. and i'll only ''go camping'' if a log cabin with running water and electricity is involved.

3. If you could enact one law in your country that does not currently exist, what would it be?
i would make animal abuse a felony. i know technically it's already against the law, but i don't think the laws are serious enough on this issue. i did small animal rescue for over a year and you wouldn't believe the stoopid idiots they allow to have pets. it's rediculous. it's the sadest thing ever to see a helpless pet neglected by a capable human being. it breaks my heart. humans suck.

4. If you were kidnapped and allowed to call one person for one minute only, who would you call?
my dad for sure. he's smart, he's calm, and for all i know he probably has a million dollars stashed somewhere in case of an emergency.

5. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?
i'd be an elephant trainer! how cute are elephants!!

6. If you could change the ending of any one book ever written, which one would you pick, and how would you change it?
at the end of fox in sox where the tweetle beetles battle with paddles in a puddle. i would change that. i'm anti violence. :P

7. If you had to cancel one day of the week forever, which day would go?
Tuesday. It's useless. Nothing ever exciting happens on tuesday. There'd be monday, then the middle of the week, then thurday--the beginning of partying and then the weekend. Perfecto.

8. If you were to be given an acting role in a current T.V. show, who would you want to play?
i'd be meredith gray. w000000000000000t. bumpin uglies with mc dreamy, chris o'donnell, and o'malley in the same season??? hellz yeah.

9. If you could wear only one color, besides black or white, for the rest of your life, what would you wear?
yikes. for the rest of my life? let's say navy blue. it's nice and neutral. and i probably wouldn't look redic wearing it 24/7 for the rest of my life.

10. If you could have the answer to any question, what would you ask?
Do we really stop dreaming after we're dead?

Go on, tag yourself.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Heard Around Town: Superman Edition

Yesssssssssssssssssss! I finally saw it. Last night my little sister and I went to the Edwards Marque and watched Superman in IMAX 3-D. It was everything I dreamed it would be.

Here are a few conversations that took place throughout the night:

Scene: Krystal (a 17-year old recent high school grad) is questioning the scientific mechanics of what makes a 3-D movie seem real. Erica (a wanna-be-know-it-all isn't going to be stumped by a mere 17 year old)

Krystal: ''So how does 3-D work?"

Erica (knowingly about to make up complete bullshit, but still says matter-of-factly): ''Well, normally when your eyes watch the movie screen, you're watching two layers of film at the same time and that's 2-D. But, in order to make something 3 dimensional, the filmmakers have to seperate the two layers so that when your eyes see them it's converting the two layers into three dimensions using your eyes at the third layer. Thus, you can see the movie in 3-D''

Krystal (confused as hell): ''Well...then....what are the 3-D glasses for?''

Erica (confused as hell): ''Aw, damn, Krystal, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Scratch the whole theory.''

Scene: If you've seen Superman Returns, there's a part in the movie where one of the rich widow's dogs eats the other in order to survive. We start discussing the classic theory of Survival of the Fittest which then turns into Survival of the Sisters. While Krystal is strong in her own right, she knows better than to question the raw survival tactics of her sister Erica.

Krystal (commenting on why the dog was eaten): ''That's survival of the fittest.''

Erica (feciciously): ''Yeah, you know you'd be the one getting eaten, right?''

Krystal (defensive): ''Yeah, right.. I'd kick somebody in the as--..''

Erica: ''Umm.. I meant between you and I. Yeeeeeah.. you'd get eaten for sure.''

Krystal (defeated): ''Oh.Yeah.''