Cafeteria Menu:
Beef and Cheese Raviolis

Raviolis? Are we six? We work in a huge corporate office for christ sakes! Is this the best they can do? I hate the cooks. And their hotwings aren't even spicy.

I met this guy two weeks ago thru one of those online dating sites. I don't usually do that. I'm not a big fan of internet dating sites. I like to see how many hits I can get. Occasionally, you find someone intelligent enough to hold a conversation with. So I gave him my email address. Wrong decision. He emails me once. Then he emails me again to ask why I haven't replied to the first email. Then he emails me five mins after that to say "hello?". I can't be replying to you every friggin second. Sure I have nothing better to do here than to surf the internet and check email all day, but sometimes vendors come in, sometimes I help other depts with paperwork, sometimes I have OTHER people to talk to besides YOU. I'll get to you when I get to you. Geez.
So, I overlook his obvious traits of obsessiveness.
We chat for a few days via email. He is intelligent, witty, makes good money, makes really good money, drives a new car, does not live with his folks, and is getting his masters. So far so good. So I give him my phone number.
That night he calls me five times. Once to tell me he will call me on his way home. Once to tell me he is on his way home and will call me when he gets home. Once when he gets home. Once to call me back b/c his mom called and he had to let me go *red flag*. Once to call me and wish me good night.
So, I agree to meet him.
He said he was 5'7''. I don't date short guys normally. I hate it. But, I thot if this guys is as witty as he sounds on the phone and makes the money that I think he does, then it'll work itself out.
When he got to my door, he was 5'5''. Maybe shorter.
He was wearing a tight black shirt with a gold chain.
He took me to his house.
He has a lime green couch. It's not really a couch. It's twelve lime green squares that you can arrange to look like a couch.
He has a porn collection and pictures of jesus scattered on his walls.
He suggested we watch "mona lisa smile".
He spilled steak sauce on his pants at dinner.
He calls me "hon" and "babe".
He tucks in his t-shirts.
He doesn't wear a belt.
He wears tevo sandals.
He wears baggy jeans, and not the cool jeans, the ones with the tapered legs.
His mom hires a maid for him.
His house is a wreck.
He likes to plant roses.
His mom comes over and does his laundry.
He wore the tight black shirt again on our third date.
He numbers our dates. (that's how I know it was our third date)


This is the problem with online dating services. I'm going out tonight to a pub crawl with him. Hopefully, I'll meet someone else in the process.