Everything's okay.

For the past ten days, I've had seeeeerious breast tenderness. Kinda like right before you start Aunt Flow, but take that pain and multiply it by a hundred. And then take that pain and multiply it by a thousand. I couldn't sleep on my sides, I had a love-hate relationship with bras (If I didn't have one on, my boobcicles just flopped to and fro--very painful, and if I did have one on, it squished them and intensified the pain times another hundred.), and it literally hurt to walk around (i have big boobs, they bounce).

So finally I went to the doc (after getting NO sleep on Tuesday night from the pain). She poked my boobs (yes, they hurt there and there and right. there.) Bottom line is, she said I was to no longer consume caffeine or cigarettes. They are my enemies. In short, the caffeine and the cigs were causing tiny little cyst-like bumps on my boobcicles that made them hurt like hell.

Who knew?? And apparently it runs in the family because my mom and one of my female cousins have it too.

I was also ten days late getting Aunt Flow, so the increased hormones didn't help either. And it was enough to scare me into taking not one, not two, but three pregnancy tests. Don't worry, I'm not. ;) So this weekend I'm starting birth control pills cause there is no room in the DaMasta-Worry-Center for Do-I-have-a-baby-in-me nonsense. And the doctor didn't help the situation any.. she scared the living shit out of me when I went to pee in the cup and I'm waiting for my results..

She came back into the waiting room and said, "You're okay."
I was confused, "What do you mean 'I'm okay'? Like, my-baby-is okay? Or like I-don't-have-to-kill-myself-cause-I'm-not-carrying-a-baby okay?"