Who's that girl with the big 'ole booty?

It's DaMasta! It's DaMasta!

Well, woulda look at that. It's Tag My Own Ass Tuesday! Thanks Spinning Girl!

Yayyayayayay!! I tagged my own ass!! Yayayyaaa... uh.. *ahem*.. let's just get started, shall we?


What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Tons o cash in my pocket, drivin my Bently on Rodeo Drive, wind in my hair, and a Puertorican boy toy in the passenger seat.

What is your greatest fear?
Taco Bell going out of business. [But according to the movie Demolition Man, that'll never happen. Even more, Taco Bell will be the only remaining restaurant 20 years into the future. wOOt.]

What vehicles do you own?
Currently, I own a spoiled brat named Fuckus. He's a 2005 metallic light green Ford Focus SE 4 door sedan. My first car was a 1991 Ford Ranger, red with red interior [gag!] with an extended cab, complete with one [not two] fold down seat in the back. I've also owned a 1998 Chevy S-10, a 2000 Toyota Celica, a 2001 Harley Davidson Edition Ford F-150, a 2002 Chevy Blazer, and a 2004 Ford Escape.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Warming sex gel. That shit is expensive. [I prefer passion fruit flavor.]

What is your most unappealing habit?
I don't cook. And it's not only that I don't cook, it's that I don't keep food in my house. I don't have milk, eggs, bread, spices, frozen meat, rice, chicken, lunch meat, cheese, chips [or snacks of any kind], candy, goodies [not counting the 'goodies' in the bedroom], colas [or drinks of any kind], or alcohol [just so we're clear about not having anything to drink]. What I do have: mashed potatoes in a box and an emergency supply of mac and cheese.

What is your most treasured possession?
My mattress. I do more than sleep on there, ya know. It's big. It's expensive. And it's all mine. [And yes, even though I'm single, I do have a 'side' of the bed. It's the left side.]

Where would you like to live?
In a state of lust ever after.

What makes you depressed?
Failure.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My tacobelly. It plagues me how unsightly it is. And it's resistant to working-out. I think it's out to get me.

Who would play you in a movie of your life?
Claire Danes, cause she always has this space-out, retarded look on her face. And I think that best portrays how I am 87% of the time.

What is your favourite smell?
Boys with money. Or just boys. Or just money.

What is your favourite word?
Gina. [jigh-na]

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Relishing the moment when people realize that I was right and they were wrong. Oh, wait, I don't feel guilty when that happens. It makes me giggle.

What, or who, is the greatest love of your life?
What: Baseball games. Something about the ambiance of the stadium and the players and the seven dollar beer and the fake hot dogs... ahhhh.
Who: Bsoholic. We've been talking to each other every day non-stop for five months or so, and I haven't gotten tired of him onc--- twice.

What is your greatest regret?
I don't do regrets. They are a waste of my time and yours. Regrets lead to resentment leads to baggage. And no one wants to sit next to that person. Live for the good times and laugh everyday, even if it's at yourself.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
The winning lottery ticket.

What keeps you awake at night?
All the uncertainty that goes along with death. Will I stop thinking all together? Will I be like Sam in ghost and learn to move things and walk around? Will I be able to read people's minds? Will I ever know who truely loved me in the waking world?

What song would you like played at your funeral?
GAH! I JUST SAID I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT! [But if I had to choose, Fur Elise by Beethoven]

How would you like to be remembered?
As the love of your life.