...and stay out!

So there's a guy that I've mentioned before on my blog that I refer to as Happy Hour Dood. I met him little over a month ago, and we talk on the phone several times a week. He texts me good morning on my way to work, and texts me after work to meet him for dinner and drinks. We're not dating exclusively or anything like that. And we've never even so much as kissed.

He has a five year old boy. Which, at first, I didn't think anything of. My mentality about dating guys with kids is that maybe since they have kids already, they might not want anymore later in life. But what I didn't plan on is all the emotional baggage that comes with dating a single parent. Sure, he shares custody with the ex-wife, but I figured on the weekends he doesn't have the kid, we'd go out and have fun together. And even when he did have the kid, I thought we'd go see Ice Age or some other kiddy movie or such.

But damn, when he ignores me weekend after weekend because he's spending alone time with his kid, it makes me wonder. So, I text him, "why don't you call me on the weekends? you got better things to do?" [I can be direct, we aren't dating exclusively. Plus, with no physical ties, I can afford to question him in an accusing manner, without any caution of his feelings or mine.]

He replied to me, "My son is only 5. We've been hurt once, and I don't want it to happen again."

I sent him one more text, "That's great. You can avoid getting hurt by continuing to avoid me."

I know that was a little harsh, but I know myself by now. I know I'm too selfish to be second place. And I'm not a patient person. And I can't afford to put my feelings on the line for someone who's afraid to feel. I'm past that point in my life. I love deeply. A little too quickly sometimes, yes. But I'm not going to hold back because some dumbass in my past hurt my feelings.

I'm not sorry for sending that message. And I'm sorry for the way it probably will turn out between us. If he didn't want to 'feel', then I guess it wasn't a real connection to begin with.