Office Supply Wednesday: Budweiser and other random thoughts
Table for One I could devote a whole blogpost on this subject, and I probably will in the near future. You'd think after 26 years of being single, I'd know how to act on a first date. But I'm like a nervous little 5 yr old scared shit-less that he has to go up on stage at the school spelling bee in front of his parents and the whole school knowing good and well that he's going to fuck up the first word he gets, which is probably going to be a tricky word like science*.
Strangers make me nervous Many of you guys wouldn't believe me if I told you [wait.. I'm about to tell you now.. ], but I'm an incredibly shy person when it comes to meeting new people. I get all sweaty and nervous. I don't talk much. I just sit there and listen and laugh at the appropriate times. I'm observing and I'm thinking. I obsessing over the stranger's thoughts. What do they think of me? Am I laughing too loud or too often? Am I smiling enough? Is there anything in my teeth? Is my lipstick straight? Is my eye-makeup smeared? Can they tell what I'm thinking? Am I saying this out loud or just thinking it? Oh, god, I hope I'm not saying this out loud. Am I making eye contact? Am I slouching? Maybe I should sit up straight. Maybe this looks too pretentious? I should slouch casually. How casually is too casually? ... and so on and so on.
I have a new job dootie More on this later, but for now, if you could please refer to me as Agent E, I'd appreciate it.
Office Supply Wednesday OSW has returned to my blog. [yayayya.. audience cheers..]
This kick ass new lighter was purchased at the ever popular dollar store, where nothing's a dollar and everything's cheap.
Bud. Weis. Errrrrr.
*I was chosen as a spelling bee contestant in 5th grade because I knew how to spell "science".
posted by DaMasta @ 5:40 AM
8 Comments:
I love your sponge bob cozy
I don't think you should be firing up that lighter around that big stack of files in the background. Call me crazy, but I think paper's flammable. Do you use that for your lunchtime "smoke" breaks. Are you in Marijuana research? Where do I sign up?
myutopia - Thanks, I stole it from The Cuz's house a while back. Yeah.. she's never gettin it back.
owen - Well... I consider anything that in my purse or on my desk an office supply. Which reminds me.. I need to take those condoms out of my purse before I forget.
think - It's no where near the papers, but thanks for your concern. No wonder you're frustrated.. you think too much. ;)
You did sound a little shy the first time I spoke to you. So, yes, I believe it!!!
Ok - you have the lighter - now melt the evil little plastic office people before the try something .....
Bud. Weis. Errrrr. My drug of choice. Wish I could kick it. I switched to bud light. It's tasteless dreck but 1/3d less calories. What, Eva. Time to switch to vodka. Yuck. Can't they make alcohol that messes you up but actually makes you thinner?
They can put a man on the moon...sheesh.
You know, I would believe you...that you are shy because I too am very shy. Imagine that! It is true though.
Love the little bud lighter.
ARRRRGGGGG! Blogger ate my comment! BAD BLOGGER!! Now Agent E , what I said in my previous comment was that I use to compete in any spelling bee I could enter when I was in grade and middle school . Hope you had a good day !
Agent E? Now that is pretentious!
And showing off your cool keyword.. grrrr. My keyboard sucks butt. The Home/End/Delete/Page Up/Page Down/Insert is all messed up on mine. Instead of 2 rows of 3, like normal, I have 3 rows of 2. It totally sucks! My monitor is a piece of crap, part of the screen is magnitized or something so the top left color are bad. You already know about my printer... {complain}
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