Horny-scopes

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 - Feb 19

Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot! Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. But they are also very particular about hyginene, so sleeping around doesn't interest them at all.

PISCES

Feb 20 - March 20

Sexually speaking, Pisces is putty in your hands. Anything you want, anything, is only a question away. If you're looking for somone who will go the extra mile to discover all your secret moan zones, then Pisces is for you!

ARIES

March 21-April 20

Aries is an explosion waiting to happen! The sexual excitement is often in the chase more than the actual conquest though. And while they may appear to want to dominate, they do not want a submissive partner. Routine brings boredom to sex for Aires, so if you're only comfortable with the missionary position, go for another sign. But if you like forceful personalities and enjoy pretending you're a human Preztel, then you've found paradise with an Aries.

TAURUS

April 21 - May 21

When a typical Taurus makes love, it's the most physical and natural pleasure in the world. They believe the romantic approach to sex almost always pays off so they will happily cook dinner, buy flowers, and light candles for someone of their affection. They don't like to rush things and take everything, including sex, slowly.

GEMINI

May 22 - June 21

Talking about sex is Gemini's favorite hobby and doing it comes a close second. Gemini's love flirting and attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that's all they're looking for. They need a lot of variety when it comes to sex - spontaneous weekends away, a quickie in a store stockroom, serious groping under the table at a fancy restaurant.

CANCER

June 22 - July 23

Love and sex go together for Cancer. They need to feel secure in love before they can relax in sex. They are turned on by home cooked meals and partners who love kids. In so many ways, Cancer is the dream partner!

LEO

July 24 - August 23

Leos can be very "into themselves" when they have sex. It's not that they don't make their partner feel speical, it's just that they often forget about them as they secretly high-five themselves for scoring again! They like to perform... and they take requests!

VIRGO

August 24 - September 23

Virgos have two sides to their personality: the Virgin and the Vixen! They may want you to *think* they are all sweet and virginal, but they are definitely *not*! They tend to seduce with finesse, charm and sublety so you may not even realize you're being lured by a Virgo!

LIBRA

September 24 - October 23

Libra is one of the sexiest signs in the zodiac, but if Libra can't get what they want from one lover, they will opt for two or three! They are notorious for having double standards in that situation too. Libras are more turned on by giving than receiving.

SCORPIO

October 24 - November 22

Scorpios are very possessive, and they will tense up if you even *look* at another hottie across the room. Scorpios love sex: the dirtier, the better! Get them excited by revealing your filthiest fantasy and offering to act it out.

SAGITTARIUS

November 23 - December 22

Sags are playful, laid back, and oh-so fun to party with. They are wild, and may be the baddest part people you ever meet! One thing to be wary of is that Sags like to talk a lot of *bullshit*! Don't believe everything they tell you because they are the kings of "talking it up". Sags are spontaneous and adventurous and most have probably been caught doing it somewhere public.

CAPRICORN

December 23 - January 20

Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions, so it's often hard to tell when they are truly, deeply in love. If you have a load of cash, you can almost bet on admiration from a Capricorn because the goat is turned on by money. Capricorn has great sexual stamina and the ability to go all night if they want to!

[By the way, I'm a Capricorn, and Secret Lover Boy is a Pisces! What's your sign?]