Yipee Kiyay Mutha Fucker!
Two things I was pleasantly surprised by last night:
a. I met a nice guy. [We shall call him The Pilot... cause he is one.]
b. John Fogerty rocked the house!!
Ok, so I went to the Rodeo last night on my blind date [ack!]. How fucking crazy do I have to be to go on a blind date WITH my parents WITH a guy my mom set me up with? Really fucking crazy, that's how.
Sunday was the first day I realized it was going to be a blind date, and I was going nucking futs. The fact that I didn't bother to ask my mom ANYTHING about him didn't help either. AND the fact that I was going to trying to pull off a sexy/chic/urban cowgirl outfit didn't help either. I heard he was going to dress cowboy, so I went out and bought a fucking cowboy hat. THEN I wrangled myself into my tightest fitting jeans and strapped on my black boots.
TMI WARNING! Also.. my "aunt flow" came to visit and, ladies, this is the wonderful little visitor that most of ya'll get every month like clock-work, but you see, I can't have children [as nature so kindly blessed me] and the beauty of not being able to have children is the beauty of NEVER having "aunt flow" visit you.. so needless to say, I was a bit preterbed when I had to deal with this womanly inconvenience for only the SECOND time in a year. Why now??? Gah.
So, there I am: bloated, wearing a fucking cowboy hat, struting around in high heeled boots, WITH my parents. Joy. I felt sorry for this guy before I even met him. I was completely NOT in the mood to deal with boys.
But, as soon as we sat down and I had my first beer, I was much calmer and MUCH more tolerant. It wasn't until 30 mins after my parents and I sat down to watch the Rodeo, did The Pilot show up. He was tall [-er than me], had a good head of hair, owns a familiy business [yay!] and owns three properties around Houston [and a condo where he lives now]. He had a crooked little smile and was a great talker. He wasn't shy [which is always a plus], and made great conversation.
We watched the rodeo and then the John Fogerty concert. He told me all about John Fogerty and we ROCKED OUT all night long. That old guy can really put on a show!! Yippeee kiyay muther fucker!! The electric guitar riffs were rockin'! The drummer guy was hot!! Man, it was such a great concert!
Afterwards, The Pilot got my digits and asked me out for drinks and to watch a band in Clear Lake this weekend.
And NO, we didn't kiss. What do you think I am? A slut?! [But dammit, if my parents weren't there, I woulda made out with him something good.]
posted by DaMasta @ 9:36 AM
11 Comments:
Awwww... good for you!!! Damn those parents! :D
well hey, glad that except for aunt flo it was a good experience! sounds liek a good time was had by all
I've always wanted to go to a rodeo (and make out with a girl in front of her parents)
Hooray! That's awesome, Damasta -- good for you!
See...that's just bullshit that your plumbing is fucked up but you still get the period on a DATE. Set up by your MOM.
I'm just going to leave the John Fogerty thing alone...because I like you. And I like you in cowgirl regalia, even though I prefer to think of you wearing ninja clothes and swiping chinese stars at people. Or something.
But the dude owns some property, eh? Here's what you do: get him for all he's worth. At least.
Neck with him next time.
And don't dance too hard in high-heeled boots, you whore con queso.
PS: You are my new closest friend. You shall be abused as such.
sherri - Yeah, and my mom made a second date [wtf] for me while we were all saying goodbye. GAWD! AM I FIVE YRS OLD?!?!
lime - The ONE DAMN TIME aunt flow had to visit..??? Damn my luck.
frustrated - Done both. Just not on the same day.
anika - Yayayyayayayayay!
fritz - I'm soOoOo excited by this new abuse!! I'm gonna fuggin loOove it. Well, I'm usually just in flip flops and jeans going around kickin people's asses. I plan to neck him this weekend. Should secure me a drawer in his condo. We'll see.
sounds like a good day, chickabee!
cowboys are my weakness ! Hope you have a good time this weekend !
Good luck with The Pilot. Make sure your trays and seatbacks are in the upright position.
If you snag a drawer, make sure you also get bathtub space.
Jeans and flipflops are okay. But I STILL see you in ninja gear...long black tresses roping around necks, strangling men silently. It's like "Crouching Cowgirl, Hidden Fogerty" or something.
That was lame. It's early. I can't help it. I need coffee.
You truly are DaMasta.
Namaste.
Once when I was a waiter in a holiday camp, a mother asked me to take out her daughter. She said her daughter had asked her to ask me to ask her out, and also find a friend from her daughter's pal. What can you say? Hotboy
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