Feel the burn...

I went to the gym last night. I thought. I smelled. I played air drums. You'll see:

• When I got to the gym, I climbed onto an eliptical treadmill right next to a really big smelly guy.

• I was very amused with this guy on a stair stepper across the gym. He was clearly having a conversation with himself. He was making facial expressions and gesturing with his hands. He was even laughing to himself.

• Despite thinking the guy talking to himself was retarded, I was still surpirsed when I started getting strange looks from smelly guy and this chick next to me when I started dancing and playing air drums to the music in my headphones.

• I used over five thousand text-messages last month alone. I used two hundred and seventy-five picture messages. However, I only used a hundred and thirty cell phone minutes, and I still have a voicemail message that I haven't listened to.

• I heard that James Blunt song, Beautiful, and thought about Snavy. And then I text-messaged her and told her about it. We used five text messages in two and a half minutes.

• Snav should start paying me for all the times I link her on my blog. Please make checks payable to DaMasta. That's spelled C-A-S-H.

• While I was at the gym, my Ex sent me the following text message: "I'm at the end of my rope trying to convince you that having me as your significant other is not a bad thing. We love each other too much to waste our time with other people. Life is too short for us not to wake up every morning thinking about and being with the only other person who accepts and loves us for who we are. You make me want to be a better man." I don't know what I think about that, but it is by far the longest fucking text-message I have ever received. It counted as four text messages.

• When I left the gym, I smelled just like big smelly guy.