Dating Update

Ah... Spring time is here... [cue cheesy music and sounds of birds chirping]. Tis the season of lovers, procreating [bleh], and tiny little cutesy butterflies.

Tis also the season that family, friends, and co-workers try to set up DaMasta - leaving them with tiny little stars of hope in their eyes and leaving me with a sickening feeling in my belly.

People assume that since I'm not married that I must be in a desperate attempt to find love. Quite the opposite, really. It's not that I'm trying to not fall in love. It's just that I'm trying to not get divorced. I'm terrified of committment and all that it stands for. It's hard for me to believe that you can be faithful to one person for the rest of your life. And how can you even assume that two people will spend the rest of their lives loving each other? For ever and ever? Until death do you part? I don't think so.

And I don't come from a broken family, either. Both parents [unfortunately for me] are still married. Still together. They threatened to get divorced when I was younger, a couple of months after my little sister was born. The only part that upset me was when my mom told me that I was going to live with her. Are you out yo' mind?! I would have fought tooth and nail to live with my dad. Damn them for not getting a divorce. I actually think I would have been less screwed up if they had just gone their own seperate ways and not made my life a living hell.

Ah, but we can't all live in a perfect world.

But I digress. God bless the poor little unsuspecting souls that try to play match-maker with me:

• The co-worker: This was by far the most uncomfortable and most surprising hook-up attempt thus far. One older lady who works in my department came up to me and said, "[DaMasta], I think you are a wonderful person.." I was immediately waiting for a "but.." It never came. Instead, she finished the sentence with, "and I know someone who is also a wonderful person.. " Uh, oh. I knew exactly what she meant. And for a minute there, I was frightened that she was talking about one of her family members. But oh no. She continued, "He works in the IS department and he's really nice [translation: ugly]." Despite my hesistations about dating someone at work, they brought him downstairs [ack! how embarrassing!] to meet me! Eh. He's alright.
• The mother: My mother is the devil, yes, we all know this. But she has never ever meddled in my private life. Until now, that is. She has four tickets to the rodeo tomorrow. She got them thru her job, so she kept two for her and my dad, and she gave two to one of her clients. Welllllllllll... the client couldn't find anyone to go on a weekday with such short notice, so my mom pretty much just pimped me out. Yup. I'm my mother's bitch. And the guy asked if I was single. With an evil grin, my mother replied, "as a matter of fact... she is." I juuuuuuust realized last night [yes, I'm slow] that this is a blind date. Oh, joy.
• The friend: One of my oldest friends just convinced me to make a profile on Match.com. Not too thrilled about dating online [again], I hesistantly agreed. When I was all done, I found out that she just wanted me to join cause she wanted to see if her new crush [also a match.com user] would 'wink' at me [which is online-dating code for hit on me]. *sigh* And all this time I thought she really wanted me to find true love.
• Secret Lover Boy: He has emerged. From the fiery depths of hell from whence he came, he has returned. Same ole' shit, different day. His criticisms of my lack of cooking, grocery shopping, and house cleaning have not stopped. Even the wonderful little snide comments about my whole existance, in general, have returned.
• The Ex: I haven't returned his call since he sent me that long ass text message the other night while I was at the gym. I just don't know what to tell him. And I don't know what he's talking about when he says "WE" love each and "WE" know we should be together. Yeah... ok... whatever you say buddy. We met 15 years ago, and dated ONCE for about a year. We didn't even last a year together and all of a sudden he thinks we belong together f-o-r-e-v-e-r? Gah.

I actually haven't even been thinking about dating anyone lately. I'm not ready to give up my freedom or my bed space. But hey, what have I got to lose? A few strands of sanity?