True Life: I Am A Bachelor [ette]

So yeah, I'm single in Houston. I live alone, and I find household chores [cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, putting the roll of toilet paper on the dispenser] very tedious.

Exhibit A: My fridge.

Let's see, right away I notice a tupperware container of mac and cheese. Since I've been on the no-carb diet for a little over a month now, I can only imagine how old that dish is. Bleh. Make me cringe when I think about getting around to cleaning it out.

I also see a couple of staple beverages. One is low carb coffee. Another is Smirnoff Ice. Yeah, that's about as old as the mac and cheese, since I can't drink it anyways cause it's chock full o' carbs.


There's mystery meat in the white tupperware container. I usually just throw out the tupperware containers rather than clean them. And no, they aren't the disposable kind.

Also, I see old tortillas. Can't have carbs now, so yep they're over a month old.

Let's see what's in the side door of the fridge. Mayo that I left out last month, so I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. And a can of beer that secret lover boy left the last time he was at the house. Haven't seen him in over five weeks, so yep, that's old too.

I think the only "good" things are the packages of string cheese laying there on the bottom of the door.

And, no, there's nothing in the drawers at the bottom.