Today's Lunch Menu:
Broccoli and Cheese Soup at Chili's

For once, I want to get laid on Humpday.

Man, this diet is really taking a toll on me. Emotionally. Physically. Bathroomly. I'm grumpy. Uncoordinated. [Who am I kidding, I was uncoordinated before all this.] I snap at people. I'm easily disturbed. No, that's not the right word. I'm easily excited. But in a bad way. In a wanna-just-snap-your-head-off-and-eat-it-for-breakfast way. Probably has carbs, tho.

Last night, my stoopid apartment gate wouldn't open using my remote, so I got out of the car and manually opened it. As I was going thru the gate, it started to close. As soon as I realized that it wouldn't sense my car there, I honked at the car behind me to signal that it needed to back up before my car got hit. They sat in their car and laughed. Too late. The gate hit my car, and then started to open again. As soon as I finally cleared the gate, I got out of my car [wrong move] and started yelling at the car behind me [can you see where this is going?]. A very hysterical chick and her gangsta boyfriend [did I mention that I moved to the 'hood to save money?] got out of the car and started yelling. I continued yelling. They flailed their arms. I continued yelling [from a distance]. They got all up in my grill [my face]. I got scared. Said, "Fuck you!" and ran back into my car.

This shit wouldn't happen if I had eaten mac and cheese for dinner like a normal person.

They're just lucky that today is Office Supply Wednesday.