Today's Cafeteria Menu:
Whatever doesn't have carbs.
Which is probably what? Eggs and raw steak?
Let's gather 'round, everyone. It's time for another edition of:
Who's Googling Me? Since the discovery of Sitemeter, I've been absolutely amazed at what people can google to get to my site. Here are just a few discoveries that caught my eye.
Hematite, Missouri. Dec 9th, 10:33am. Google.com, "quesadilla reciept". This reminds me of my favorite comedian, the late Mitch Hedberg. If you know his material, then you know what I'm talking about. I can't see a situation where you would need a receipt for a quesadilla. And, trust me, you're not going to find it on the internet. And it's "i" before "e" except after "c", you moron.
****Mitch Hedburg's Quote: "I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. Man, I'll just give you money then you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's at home, in the file... under D."****
Cleveland, Ohio. Dec 7, 10:36am. Google.com, "nickelodeon breakfast rhymes". I'm almost certain I've never talked about Nickelodeon on my blog before. Well, before now. *sigh* Ask and you shall receive. Mr. Ohio, this one's for you:
This morning I ate a cheese log
While watching the show CatDog.
I love to kiss my man, Lance
During SpongeBob SquarePants.
I hope my eggs and biscuits are done
By the time they air Zoey 101.
North America. Dec 5, 4:42pm. Google.com, "who invited quesadillas". Well, I never! Here's Mr. North America. He just had an argument with Mr. Quesadilla, and he's pissed. So he asks himself, Who the fuck invited quesadillas to North America? Well, Mr. America, I have no idea who invited Quesadillas, but frankly, I'm glad they did. Now get your panties out of a bunch.
Oviedo, Florida. Dec 8, 3:52pm. Google.com, "quesadilla favorite actor". Hmm.. that's a toughy. I liked Johnny Depp in Willy Wonka and the Quesadilla Factory, but Jessica Alba is hot in the new flick, Fantastic Quesadilla.
Mount Laurel, New Jersey. Dec 8, 4:06pm. Google.com, "different things to put in quesadillas". Well, Mr. New Jersey, you could go classic with chicken or cheese. Myself? I like to wrap a warm tortilla around a cute boy and nibble all night long.
Washington, D.C. Dec 12, 6:56pm. Google.com, "DJ Manwhore". And sometimes you just find what you're looking for.
posted by DaMasta @ 9:34 AM
16 Comments:
Back in October, Damasta said,
"3. Hey Dude! - Another great show. I think it came out in the 90s on Nickelodeon. Just a bunch of teenagers on a ranch gettin' into some trouble."
While she was talking about 10 things she would like to make a comeback.
Damn good memory there lookingbusy!
It seems they will let anyone use google these days! Hahahaha
My favorite Google search that caused a hit to my blog:
"Gay photo and movie with sexy on the screen"
I laughed for 10 minutes over that one. I'm still not sure why I my blog turned up a hit for that particular search criteria...but hey. Whatever gets me a reader, I guess.
Doh. Looking, don't make me give you an atomic wedgie.
Bs, these people amaze me.
Shanshu, I think I caused a gay hit one time. Whatever floats your blog, I guess.
i usually get the google search that says "ecstacy seattle sex" or something like that.
Oh, BTW, you will have another hit for "Nikelodeon Breakfast Rhymes."
Sorry.
That killed me...
I google Nickelodeon in hopes of finding naked photos of that dead Blue's Clues guy...
haha...the donut story reminds me of those places that when you ask for a small drink they tell you..."we only have medium and large."
but one is smaller right?
I like quesadillas for breakfast.
I still haven't found what I am looking for.
I miss the old Steve on Blues Clues. Even though his shirt was gay.
Oops, Thomcat, that was me. How do you think I found you?
Jerry, I absolutely hate it when they don't have a medium. I'm always thirstier than a small, but never thirsty enough for a large. What gives?
Mr. Shife, come here. Yes, that's it. Come over here. Just rest your head against my boob.
Better now?
Hey girl ! sorry I haven't been around much but I have been mondo busy ! Next week my schedule will almost completely drop off . :)
Funny you should post about who has 'googled' you.
This morning, 7:26 am, someone googled '"sherri sanders" slut'. Let's just say, it gets the old mind working overtime to see something like that.
ROFLMAO! that is too friggin funny!
everyone needs a boob to lean on ....
Sadly, I know of a reason to get a receipt for a donut.
I know this guy whose kid is in a Boston hospital for cancer treatment.
He sends me his receipts because there is a local charity that tries to help parents of children with cancer, to cover all of the random little expenses that insurance doesn't pay for. Like traveling expenses and meals when your kid is so sick they have to go to a big hospital in another city.
The kids are referred from a local hospital to this charity, which is fairly small but manages to help 3 or 4 families at a time.
So I forward the reciepts to the right place and then they pay him back for his donuts.
Hope this wasn't too much of a downer, because your site is actually very funny.
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