Today's Cafeteria Menu:
Meat on a Stick
Side Order of Chicken
Lettuce

This is Day Three of the new carb-less DaMasta. The Cuz had the bright idea of starting a carb-less diet. I told her I would support her and try to do it also. Hey, I could stand to lose some LBs, right? So, the first rule of starting a diet is starting after the holidays. So much for that frickin' idea.

So, if you don't know what has carbs and what doesn't, let's look at it this way: whatever you eat - has carbs, whatever you don't eat - doesn't. I can't have any bread. No cereal. No fruit. No pasta. No smashed potatoes [I will miss these the most]. No tortillas [which makes it extremely hard to have a quesadilla]. No beans [which makes it even harder to be Mexican]. No rice. No juice. No ---

This could go on forever. And the hardest part about being on a diet, is remembering you're on one. Everything I reach for is forbidden. All my meals have been altered. Yesterday, for example, I had chicken salad with a side of chicken soup. For dinner, I had meat with lettuce. And at the end of day two with no carbs, I was weak and incoherent.

I can already tell this diet is going to be fun.

Today is also Office Supply Wednesday, ya'll.



This is my new and improved Ion Heater Thing-a-ma-jigger. They brought it to me on Friday. It goes up to 85 degrees. It even has a remote. This thing will rotisserize you. It has six heat settings, rotates or stands still, and has a timer.

This morning, I drove into work with my A/C on.

By the way, does anyone else see a fire hazzard when they look at this picture? [I'm not talking about the Ion Heater.]








My stoooopid singing mouse.


And don't think I won't slap the shit out of you if you make it sing while it's on my desk.