Today's Cafeteria Menu:
Grilled Salmon
Rice Pilaf
Broccoli Spears
Bleh. I can't wait till tomorrow when they have Chicken Fried Steak and Mashed 'Taters. And Thursday is Chicken Tacos. And Friday they are having Mac and Cheese. Fish just scares me. Sometimes it has bones, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it has E.Coli, sometimes it doesn't.
In contrast of yesterday's horribly dark post, I'll have a little fun today.
I recently told you guys that I bought my first pair of heels the other week. I can't take them off. I've worn them practically everyday. And, frankly, I have been having the time of my life.
Every time I wear my heels:
1. I feel as tall as a greek goddess.
2. My ass lifts a whole 2 inches.
3. My boobs are perkier.
4. No guy can resist me.
5. I get drunk more often.
6. My smile is brighter.
7. I look sexy in jeans.
8. I get on a power trip.
9. There's now 3 people shorter than me at work.
10. I look a whole 5 lbs. skinnier.
posted by DaMasta @ 10:14 AM
20 Comments:
Great! I can't wear high heels because of a weak ankle and because well I am just pretty damn clumsy ! I am glad you are in a brighter mood today ! :)
I didn't think I could wear heels either. I am always bumping into things and tripping over air. But man, it's the best thing in the world. I'm going to buy a kick ass pair of high heel boots for the winter. woo hoo!
that's hot...heels bring on power...my favorite? high heel mary janes...sexy and girlish at the same time...
hell yeah, jinxy. i wear those suckers and suddenly i'm in charge. people listen to me. people laugh at my jokes. it's great.
Grilled Salmon sounds good, but probably not from a cafeteria. It'd be better to get at a Japanese Resteraunt, or a seafood place.
Everytime you wear heels, Jerk wants to see a picture.
Don't make me beg.
It's not pretty.
Begging does not become you.
Please refrain.
Your pic's in the mail.
bs - i've never eaten salmon before. i like orange roughy and i hate catfish.
I'm a seafood lover, not much that I don't like.
I am a heel WHORE! I hate em... but you're right... they make EVERYTHING look better!
I wore high heels for halloween a couple years back, (no really, it was for halloween), and they did make me feel powerful.
That, and the riding crop.
i wear heels so i can trip all over the place like Dick Van Dyke...
the crowd loves it...
they are hell on the feet but yeah they do have a way of making you more perky, sexy and feminine. this coming from a confirmed lover of birkenstocks, lol
Lime - Yeah, well this post comes from a confirmed lover of flip flops. If it were socially acceptable to wear flip flops to work and/or during the winter, I would. [it doesn't really get cold here in houston anyways]
Heels totally change the way you carry yourself!!! I agree with the whole list!! You go girl!
Where's my picture woman?!
How can I succumb to you if'n I don't know what you look like?
i highly recommend that you wear high heels more frequently then
I am, Thom. I'm going to wear them everyday. Black ones. With 3 inch heels.
Dammit, Jerk. Can't you wait till the mail comes? heh. I said comes.
at least you didn't say 'male comes'
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