Today's Cafeteria Menu:
Fried Chicken Breast
Roasted Potatoes
Corn

We all know what happens when you eat corn. Let's not go there again. But what happens when you eat fried chicken breast? Is it like chicken fried chicken? Then why didn't they just call it that? I'm not going anywhere near fried chicken breast or corn. Looks like a soup and salad day. But not soupy taco. That was something awful.

Ok, back by popular demand are more conversations from withing XYZ Fashion Corporation. Ok, it wasn't so much popular demand as it was my demand.

If anyone from anywhere in the building calls you, it will only show one number - our main number, which, inconveniently enough rings straight to me.

Incoming Call to Front Desk.

“Good morning, [name of Company]”
“Hi . . . uh, did someone call for me?”
“Do you know anyone at [name of Company] who might have called you?”
“What is this place?”
“[name of Company].”
“What do ya’ll do?”
“We are a corporate office.”
“Are there any . . teenagers there?”
“No."
"Ok, bye."

This phone call was from a distressed customer needing to get a hold of someone in customer service. The only thing was, she didn’t know who she was looking for…so I had to tell her.

“Good morning, [name of Company]”
“HI...I need to…um…purchase some shoes. You didn’t have them at your store, and I ordered them last year through your corporate office.”
“Well, this is the corporate office. Let me switch you over to customer service.”
“WELL…hang on. I need to speak with someone about ordering shoes.”
“Ok. Let me switch you to customer service.”
“Where is that?”
“Here in the corporate office…”
“Ok. Because last time I ordered them from the corporate office.”
“Yes, ma’am. This is the corporate office.”
“Well, who is in charge of shoes?”
“Well, if you need to order shoes-
“Yes, I need to order shoes”
“-you need to speak with customer service.”
“But last year, this was so easy, I just ordered them through the corporate office.”

[By this time, I knew what she was getting at. She wanted to speak directly with our athletic shoe buyer. I would be publicly hanged if I transferred a customer directly to a Buyer. God forbid they ever speak with customers. They don’t even speak to me half the time.]

“Ma’am, we do have shoe buyers here at the corporate office, but all they do is buy from vendors all day long. They don’t take orders or take customer service calls.”
“Oh.”
“Let me switch you to customer service.”
“Ok…”
“Thank you.”


A conversation between Party Girl and I the day after the day after the night we drank so much. She called me on the phone from her desk upstairs.

”Hey [DaMasta], how are you?”
“I’m good.”
“Yeah? I’m still in a funk.”
“Heh, I’m just ready to get outta here.”
“Yeah, me too. I’m so glad it’s Friday. You should call me this weekend. Do you have my number?”
“Yes.”
“No, not my extension, my number.”
“Yes.”
“How do you have it?”
“Are you serious? You don’t remember?”
“No. What?”
“The other night at the bar, you gave me your number. And look at your celly, you have mine.”
“Oh my God, I do. I don’t even remember that. I was that bad, huh?”
“Yes. Yes, you were.”