Today's Cafeteria Menu:
Cheese Enchiladas
Spanish Rice
Refried Beans

MMM...MMM...good.

Look! It's "Stolen Shit" Monday! My favorite!
Just complete the sentence.



1) My uncle once: paid for a private plane to fly us out of the wrath that would become Hurricane Rita. Psshh..

2) Never again in my life: will I fall for a luke warm married guy.

3) When I was five: I got a guitar for my birthday.

4) High School was: a waste of time: I didn’t learn how to read or how to spell.

5) I will never forget: almost being arrested.

6) I once met: Jay Leno.

7) There's this girl I know who: has four children, an ex-husband, and a boyfriend who has four children and an ex-wife.

8) Once, at a bar: I sang I Will Survive during a Kareoke contest.

9) By noon I'm usually: eating lunch with DJ Sexy, Party Girl, and Married IT Guy.

10) Last night I: watched the Astros lose Game 2 in the most upsetting 9th inning ever.

11) If I had only: married my second fiance.

12) Next time I go to church: I will try to get away with wearing flip flops.

13) What worries me most: is what will happen if I get caught wearing flip flops to church.

14) When I turn my head right, I see: my gi-normous phone system.

15) When I turn my head left, I see: a broken security monitor.

16) You know I'm lying when: I say words to you.

17) You know what I miss most about the eighties: being ages 1 thru 9.

18) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: a plague on both your houses.

19) By this time, next year: I hope to get a dollar raise, but not for a job well done, but instead for a rise in the cost of living.

20) A better name for me would be: anything other than That-Chick-that-Answers-the-Phone.

21) I have a hard time understanding: why I need to understand everything.

22) If I ever go back to school I'll: quit.

23) You know I like you if: I slide my hand up your thigh.

24) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: myself, for all the hard work.

25) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: no friends of mine.

26) Take my advice, never: listen to my advice.

27) My ideal breakfast is: you, with whipped cream on top.

28) A song I love, but do not have is: My Humps by Black Eyed Peas.

29) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: rooting for the Astros.

30) Why won't anyone: believe me when I tell them Party Girl is a closet freak.

31) If you spend the night at my house, DO: puff, puff, pass. Do NOT puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff pass.

32) I'd stop my wedding for: a good looking, rich guy.

33) The world could do without: spinich enchiladas.

34) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat spinich enchiladas.

35) My favorite blonde is: Justin Timberlake.

36) Paperclips are more useful than: glue sticks.

37) San Diego means: never having to say “Goodbye.”

38) And by the way: I have no idea what #37 means.