quesadillas for breakfast

Sionara, suckas!

2007-02-09T07:37:00.000-08:00

I posted at Wordpress,

cause Blogger is a b*tch

and my page keeps fuggin' up

and comments are sly little bastards

and cause frankly my dear...

I don't give a damn.

Click here to read.

I had a Beach Emergency.

2007-02-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

I haven't been feelin' so hot the past couple of days. I just started on birth control pills and a week into it, I'm hating my uterus. I've had nausea and a sour stomach for three days and it's taking all my strength (and my strong desire never to have kids) to keep taking the damn pills.

So what did I do? Monday I called in sick and headed to the beach. It was the first time in several weeks that Houston was scheduled to have sunny skies, and I figured that the best thing one can do when *ahem* sick on a Monday morning would be to make a short drive to the beach and take in the local scenery in the peace and quiet sound of everyone else in the city working. :)

I drove up to the Seawall in Galveston to the Dolphin statues near 61st street and took in the view.

I drove a little further down and revelled in the fact that everyone I knew was at work and I was at the beach. This is the picture I sent thru my cell phone to everyone at work.

I passed the Poop Deck, where "Execs meet with bare feet!" <--they have that sign above the door.

I drove down to my favorite store on the beach. They boast to have "Beers, Gifts, Shells, and Tees!" Boy... did they deliver ;)

Hey! They even have pirate stuff! Score!

They also had (crunchy?) owls made out of shells.

Yes. This is true.

All in all, I enjoyed my day at the beach. Judging from my pasty white skin color, many more days at ze beach is not such a bad idea.

Happy Thursday to all! (due to my "sick" days this week, it's only Tuesday for me!)

Oh Good Lord

2007-02-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

I'm finally back online. That post below took an ungawdly amount of time to complete. I even had to edit it four times after I published it.

Needless to say, I'm not entirely pleased with this new Blogger nonsense.

I wasn't able to get into Blogger at. all. this morning. Not even my own site. I was on Snav's for just a second, but then it booted me off again.

Sometimes my pictures won't load onto my posts.

Sometimes it takes three or four tries to get a comment to stick.

Other time, like today, I'm banished from blogger all together.

This is really starting to get on my nerves!

Myspace is blocked where I work.

Blogger is being more than uncooperative.

I am seriously thinking about going over to Wordpress.

I don't want to, but it might not matter.

I created a "blog" there just in case something happens here and I'm unable to post.

I'm not there permanently or anything.

And, there's not much there right now, but I don't know what else to do.

It's here:

Quesadillasforbreakfast.wordpress.com

Duties I Performed Today because I have No Actual Duties to Perform Today

2007-01-31T09:06:00.000-08:00

1. Forgot to plug in the switchboard phone that allows calls to come into the Corporate Office. I am supposed to start answering them at 8:00am. I plugged them in at 8:37am.

2. Started reading the archives to a very funny comic: The Chalkboard Manifesto. For obvious reasons, this one is my favorite:

3. Told everyone I know (which is apparently only like 3 people) that I thoroughly enjoyed the movie "Smokin' Aces". It was by far one of the best movies I've seen in a long time! I thought it was an original story and all the actors (Jeremy Piven, Ryan Reynolds, Alicia Keys, Ray Liota--yumm, Jason Bateman, Andy Garcia, etc) really did an awesome job playing off each other. I was a bit skeptical with all those diff actors in one movie, but Ryan Reynolds' performance was a pleasant surprise as was Jeremy Piven's. Of course Andy Garcia and Ray Liota were great--they are always great. The movie was a bit gory, but it was about the Mob and the FBI, what do you expect? I still recommend this movie to everyone--even at full price on a Friday night with a Large Popcorn, Icee, Candy, and Preztel.

4. Thought about doing this Meme, created by Spinning Girl, but realized that since I stopped drinking caffeine all together, my morning refreshment choices have dwindled down to Water, Crystal Light, or Water.

5. Speaking of Meme's, I asked to be tagged by Lime and she gave me the letter "J" and I have no idea what favorite things of mine begin with the letter "J". Incidentally, this challenge will take up most of my thinking time here at work, as it has become my only duty on my "to do" list.

6. I'm putting together my order for Avon. This is what I've picked out so far. I'm completely obsessed with wearing tank tops lately.

7. This email joke cracked me up so much that I forwarded it to 42 people in this Corporate Office. For those of you who know me, you know that I could totally get away with Number 3!

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a
Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, a sk If They Want Fries
with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has
Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggled
Diamonds".

7. Don't use any punctuation.

8. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

9. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

10. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

11. Sing Along At The Opera.

12. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

13. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds
All Day.

14. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their
Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

15. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock
Bottom.

16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,
Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

18. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going
To Have To Let One Of You Go."

8. I took this QUIZ and found out that I'm only sliiiightly smarter than the average person. I blame the timer. It made me a bit crazy.

Would YOU walk on this?

2007-01-31T06:44:00.000-08:00

The Glass Bridge Construction of the Grand Canyon Skywalk began March of 2004 and is set to open to the public on March 28th, 2007. The $30 Million dollar all-glass Skywalk will hover 3,800 feet above the Colorado River over the rim of the Grand Canyon, allowing tourists to stroll on an 80-yard walk around the semicircular platform jutting beyond the canyon rim, surrounded by Plexiglass that will provide a spectacular view of the canyon floor directly below.

On May 2005, the final test was conducted and the structure passed engineering requirements by 400 percent, enabling it to withstand the weight of 71 fully loaded Boeing 747 airplanes (more that 71 million pounds).

The bridge will be able to sustain winds in excess of 100 miles per hour from 8 different directions, as well as an 8.0 magnitude earthquake within 50 miles. More than one million pounds of steel will go into the construction of the Grand Canyon Skywalk.

The Skywalk will be the first-ever cantilever shaped glass walkway to suspend more than 4,000 feet above the canyon’s floor and extend 70 feet from the canyon’s rim.

Access to The Skywalk will run from dawn to dusk and one hundred and twenty people will be allowed on the bridge at a time. The historical rollout of The Skywalk structure, with the glass in place, is scheduled for February 27 to March 2. The initial part of the rollout process involves jacking the structure up off of the supports and then subjecting the structure to several days of thorough tests that replicate the conditions of final placement. After the final testing is complete, the multi-million pound steel enforced structure will be rolled out across the canyon’s edge, which takes multiple days. Immediately after the structure is in position, it will be seated and attached to the foundation.

Located at Grand Canyon West’s Eagle Point, The Skywalk facility will also include a 6,000 square-foot visitor’s center on three levels – underground, first story and second story – which will contain a museum, movie theater, VIP lounge, gift shop, and several restaurants and bars, including a high-end restaurant called The Skywalk Café that will offer outdoor patio and rooftop seating on the edge of the canyon. The second story will be where visitors can access The Skywalk glass walkway. The visitor’s center will also offer private indoor and outdoor facilities for meetings, special events and weddings.

It's my blog, for chissakes! Of course it's going to be all about me!

2007-01-29T06:08:00.000-08:00

1.Your name plus "ness"

Ericaness. You have to be cool to have that.

2. Two feelings at the moment?

Hungry and happy.

3. What are you listening to right now?

The videos playing in the lobby.

4. Done anything you regret so far this week?

The week just started, give me a few days.. I'm sure I'll do something stoopid.

5. Describe where you are right now?

In the front lobby of a corporate office in Houston.. there's floor to ceiling windows, my space heater is on high and there's a plasma tv on the wall over there that plays the same damn video over and over again for 9 hours a day. :O

6.The highlight of your week?

If we could count yesterday, I'd have to say the part where Adam and I didn't leave the bed. ;)

7. What are you craving to have right now?

Carbs. Day one, HOUR one, and I'm already missing carbs. :(

8. Who were the last people you went out to dinner with?

I go out to dinner with Adam all the time.

9. What are you scared of?

La Chupacabra.

10. Last movie you watched?

You Me and Dupree and Snakes on a Plane. "You me and Dupree" was HIiiiiii-larious, "snakes on a place" was a bit redic and surprisingly not funny. :-/

11. Do you have feelings for someone?

I think she's funny, I think she's a genius, I think she's a goddess, and I think she's just plain crazy (in love with me).

12. What is your heritage?

Spanish, American Indian - My people in Spain: I will meet you one day!

13. Are you thinking of someone right now?

My lovah.

14. Britney Spears is a skank. Agree or disagree?

Oh who cares.

15. Last thing you downloaded on your computer?

You assume I have a computer.

16.Have you changed much this year?

I change my underwear all the time...

17. Say something about the person who posted this before you:

A co-worker, Chris, posted this on his Myspace page. Chris is bored a lot at work. Which is strange because I sure do get a shit-ton of customer service calls for him.. hmm...

18. Do you like moms?

I like your mom.

19.Hugs Or Kisses?

Yes.

20. Say one of your friends and an inside joke with them.

Mad Meer. How many beers, exactly, did it take to get me drunk again? Two?

21. How many homes have you lived in?

Over 5.

23. Who was the last person to text message you?

My cousin (and coworker) Rachel.

24. Where was the last place you went besides where you are?

Home.

25. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?

When I was younger, Selena. But maybe that was just b/c I was mexican with curly hair.

26. Do you speak any other language other than english?

Spanglish.

27. Last thing you watched on TV?

Family Guy and American Dad.

28. Do you dress for style or comfort?

Bof.

29. Name someone with the same b-day as you?

Dunno.

30. Ever had a drunken night in mexico?

I've never even had a sober night in Mexico.

31. Whats the craziest thing you've done?

Drank for 13 hours on my 21st birthday. That night I kissed my best friend's boyfriend, peed on the side of the road, and barfed Taco Bell everywhere b/c I was so drunk.

32. Favorite colour(s)?

Pink/ Black.

33. Who's your favorite tv character?

House, MD

34. What is your favorite Michael Jackson song?

Thriller! and Billy Jean

35. Who are you crushing on right at this very moment?

Adamzz.

36. Drinking or drugs?

Drinking. Drugs cost too much.

38. Any plans?

Not tonight

39. What are your plans for tonight?

What did I just say.

40. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Not going to the gym.

41. Favourite teacher?

Chem Professor, UT, 1998

42. Last time you smiled?

Just a few seconds ago.

Everything's okay.

2007-01-25T11:50:00.000-08:00

For the past ten days, I've had seeeeerious breast tenderness. Kinda like right before you start Aunt Flow, but take that pain and multiply it by a hundred. And then take that pain and multiply it by a thousand. I couldn't sleep on my sides, I had a love-hate relationship with bras (If I didn't have one on, my boobcicles just flopped to and fro--very painful, and if I did have one on, it squished them and intensified the pain times another hundred.), and it literally hurt to walk around (i have big boobs, they bounce).

So finally I went to the doc (after getting NO sleep on Tuesday night from the pain). She poked my boobs (yes, they hurt there and there and right. there.) Bottom line is, she said I was to no longer consume caffeine or cigarettes. They are my enemies. In short, the caffeine and the cigs were causing tiny little cyst-like bumps on my boobcicles that made them hurt like hell.

Who knew?? And apparently it runs in the family because my mom and one of my female cousins have it too.

I was also ten days late getting Aunt Flow, so the increased hormones didn't help either. And it was enough to scare me into taking not one, not two, but three pregnancy tests. Don't worry, I'm not. ;) So this weekend I'm starting birth control pills cause there is no room in the DaMasta-Worry-Center for Do-I-have-a-baby-in-me nonsense. And the doctor didn't help the situation any.. she scared the living shit out of me when I went to pee in the cup and I'm waiting for my results..

She came back into the waiting room and said, "You're okay."
I was confused, "What do you mean 'I'm okay'? Like, my-baby-is okay? Or like I-don't-have-to-kill-myself-cause-I'm-not-carrying-a-baby okay?"

Fortune Friday

2007-01-19T07:49:00.000-08:00

My friend Jocopo has made a certainly curious observation about the quality of the "fortune" inside most fortune cookies lately. Mainly that they are most like "lessons" or "statements" (Man who stand on toilet, high on pot) rather than actual "fortunes."

Yesterday, DJ Stoopid, Married IT Guy, and I went to lunch at Pei Wei, this great Asian place by my office. After a fresh bowl of chicken fried rice (mmm!), and much to my surprise, my fortune cookie had an actual fortune in it!

It reads "Many pleasurable and memorable adventures are in store for you!"

(and in true "guy" form, the boys added "in bed" to the end of my fortune)

Adam and I have been together three months now, and our relationship is still very new, but we are discovering new things about each other and growing as a couple, and it just feels really great to start this kind of chapter in my life. :D I'm really excited about our move in April and more excited about what this year has in store for us (hint hint). He's incredibly caring and sweet and has easily become my favoritest person in ze world! ;o)

I'm not sure if this is customary after Chinese fortunes or at 9am in the morning, but I'd like to propose a toast to everyone in ze blogosphere. So raise your glasses..

(I don't have champagne - or alcohol of any sort - so I'm holding up my Starbucks cup of Hot Chocolate)

"Let's toast to the new year. May you have new adventures, new memorable experiences, and new found friends and love in your life!"

*clink!*

HNT - Naughty little bedtime photo

2007-01-18T09:24:00.000-08:00

..and this is what happens when you send a naughty little bedtime photo to a "photo chopper" (who shall remind nameless..) <--ya'll know who I'm talkin' about!

;) Happy HNT everyone!

I want to see how naughty YOU are..

Take this survey.

He wants to see how naughty you are too..

Visit his site.

If I'm coming in today, I'm wearing jeans dammit..

2007-01-16T06:30:00.000-08:00

So it didn't rain last night like it was supposed to. That means the rain couldn't freeze and the road couldn't have ice on them. That also means my happy ass is at work today instead of snuggled up beside Adam in my warm Queen-sized love nest. I'm at the front lobby reception desk today and every time someone walks thru the front doors, icy cold 32 degree air blows in and chills me to the bone. OH, also? My boss just informed me that my shirt was on inside-out. Oh happy days.

So last night was my friend Emma's birthday. As I said before, it didn't rain last night as was expected and so I felt a big obligated to go to her birthday dinner. Since Adam and I don't like sushi (they were going to this sushi buffet joint), I figured we would run some short errands, grab something to eat on the way, and just meet up with them at the restaurant after 8 (it started at 8). And I thought I was clear on this plan of mine when I called Emma to let her know that we'd just meet them at the restaurant "sometime after 8." Obviously not. Right before we got there, Emma bitched to all our friends that we should have told her that we weren't coming and that she specifically told us that the dinner started at 8pm, and how she thought it was rude that we weren't there exactly on time even though she knows we didn't like sushi and that we weren' t going to eat with the group, we still should have been there on time.

Literally seconds after she finished that cute little speech of hers, we walked thru the door.

I try to get everything taken care of for everyone.. gotta get shit done when I get home, dinner on the table (or in the car), errands need to be done and whatnot.. try to please everyone at once.. and I still get shit talked about me behind my back. Nice.

I'll be back later.. I gotta go turn my shirt right-side in.

Halleluiah! It's raining ice.

2007-01-15T12:39:00.000-08:00

It's finally beginning to feel a little like winter today in Houston. Yesterday, I wore a sleeveless shirt and jeans and slept with the a/c on. Today, it's 21 degrees outside and rumors of freezing rain and sleet on the forecast for tomorrow morning has everyone in a panic. I used this to my advantage. First thing I did when I got to work was tell my boss that I wasn't coming in tomorrow cause I heard it was going to be "bad out there" and I didn't want to "take a chance." ;)

I totally forgot my friend Emma's birthday was today, and we were all going to meet up at this sushi place after work. I, personally, don't want to go because 1. it's sushi and I hate sushi and 2. it's 30 bucks a person to eat something I don't like. I must have subconciously decided that I wasn't going because I remembered this morning that I didn't buy her a present over the weekend! Oop. I had to run out in the freezing rain at lunch and buy her a little something. Still, I don't think I'm going because, well, the weather is going to be bad and that's a perfect excuse to get out of it, dontcha think? I feel bad, but seriously, she should have rescheduled it because at 6pm today it's going to be below freezing and sleeting and traffic is going to be horrid! (plusIdon'tlikesushi)

Last Friday my company Stage Stores, Inc. (most of ya'll know us as Bealls or Stage or Peebles - Palais Royal department stores are only here in Houston) hit the "$1 billion dollars in sales" mark! To celebrate this, we had a six foot wide cake catered to our cafeteria where 400+ employees gathered around and toasted Sparkling apple cider and ate (about half) of this ginormous cake :) It was both vanilla and chocolate.

Ze monsterous cake!

With letters as big as my head! How'd dey do dat?!

I'm slowly slipping off into a cake coma, so if you call me at my desk and I don't answer, you know why. Adam is on his way home now.. I wish I was there. He works about thirty minutes North of Houston, so I know for a fact that he won't be trying to venture out to work in the morning (the freeways will probably have ice on them). And since I'll be on a "self-proclaimed" vacation... I'll have to think up something fun for Adam and I to do all day tomorrow (that doesn't involve getting out of bed). ;)

Postage in my pocket.

2007-01-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

Today I'm in Travel, and it's slow (thankfully, knock on wood). So far, I've only had to book one flight to Gulfport, MS and one hotel in ... Gun Barrel City, TX. You know how "bunk ass" that town is? My atlas doesn't even list it.

So last night I was supposed to go out and drink. A few friends and I are part of this "Thirsty Nights" club.. it's sort of a play on words.. we meet every Thursday Night. Get it?? Do ya?? HUH?!? (har har)

So I get home from work and I figure I'd lay down for a bit of a nap. It's 630pm, so I set my alarm for 8pm (so I can get up and watch Gray's Anatomy at 8 and leave for the bar at 9). So I (thought I) set my alarm for 8, lay down.. and yeah, I'm gone.. zzzzzz.. snoozing away, right? A few hours later (?), I hear my phone go off, it's my friend Gwen's ringtone, so I know right away it's her calling.. and I'm thinking to myself, Self, I'm gonna lay here and wait for the alarm to go off and then I'll get up and call her back..

Yeah, right. I wake up at (what I thought was) 1am. O_O I'm like holy shit.. oh well, I missed happy hour and now it's 1am, so I might as well go back to sleep. I wake up again at (what I thought was) 5am. Groggy, but ready to start the day.. I debate on whether or not I should go to the gym today. I deduce that since I went yesterday, I should just wait and go Sat morning as I usually do. Adam was beside me and he wasn't feeling so hot, so I got him up and got him some drugs.

While I was passing thru the living room, I grabbed my phone so I could check my messages and my phone said it was 2am! WTF?! So I flipped on the light switch and checked the clock in the living room and sure 'nuff, it was two o'clock in the frickin morning!

So, damn.. I went to bed AGAIN and woke up at the "real" 5am.

Last night was weird, to say the least. I feel really discombobulated (hehe..learned that from Cindy Lou Who from the Grinch movie), and all out of sorts. I think I may have entered a new time-space continuum in my sleep..

___________________________

OH, and I have to mail out some post cards today and our office has a mail room.. but for personal mail, you have to pay them whatever it costs in cash.. so I grabbed a hand-ful of change and my front pocket is a-jingling every time I get up and walk around.. so all morning I've been singing to myself, "I've got postage in my pocket.. postage in my pocket.. postage.. pocket.. I've got some postage in my pocket.."

2007-01-10T06:09:00.000-08:00

I found this at Spinny Gal's:

Let's battle!

I'm nobody's deliver-er..(er?)

2007-01-08T08:08:00.000-08:00

So I'm a receptionist, who, on Fridays, works in the Travel Department. It's upstairs and I have my own office, and basically I train one day out of the week so that when I cover for the travel lady when she's on vacation, I'm not completely out-of-the-loop on what's been going on. However, it's become a common theme for me to still do receptionist duties whilst training in the Travel Department. Doing things such as answering assinine questions, sending out emails to our corporate email list, and "fixing" problems that come up in the front lobby (such as "omg, erica, there's not a stapler in the front, can you leave your office and search for one and when you find one, can you bring it to the front desk asap! no hurry, though.. thanks").

This gets on my nerves more than anything! Especially since I'm only in training half a day on Fridays and at the front desk every other frickin day during the week. I know I should be all "oh wow, people really like me and I must be doing a great job since no one else in the company can function without me being there at the front desk and blah blah blah.." but seriously, people.. can you just leave me the hell alone for a half a day?!?

Anywhoo.. so my cousin Rachel works in the Finance department and she has a temp over there named Claudia, who sometimes relieves me for breaks and lunch while I'm at the front desk. (I don't particularly care for temps who relieve me b/c they never seem to get it in their head that they're working at a corporate office and instead of saying "please hold" or "sure, one moment please", their dumb little ESL minds can only conjure up enough grace to say "hang on" or "uhh.. okay".)

So, Rachel rides in a Van Pool with this lady who sells Avon named Patricia. Every week, whoever wants to order from her, emails her and she brings it to your desk the next week. So last Friday was a delivery date. I'm on the phone in my office in Travel, and Patricia comes in and sets two bags down beside me. I'm thinking.. wow, I ordered a lot.. I thanked her via hand signal and nod and when I got off the phone, discovered that she had left my order and Claudia's order on my desk. So, I emailed Patricia and told her that she left Claudia's stuff on my desk and she emailed back saying that she forgot where Claudia sits and thought I could give it to her.

WTF. So this morning Rachel emails Patricia for Claudia and finds out that Claudia's stuff is on my desk and so..

Rachel emails me and says, "Gee, thanks.. you could have told me you had Claudia's stuff"

And I email her back and say, "OH. Yeah, I have it. Actually, it's up in Travel on my desk, Claudia can go get it whenever"

Rachel emails me back, a little preterbed, "Claudia doesn't know where Travel is, you can get it and bring it to me at lunch"

Was that a question or an order? I answer back, "It's not my responsibility. I didn't sell it to Claudia, Patricia did, she should bring it to her."

Rachel, a little more put off at this point, emails back, "You know Claudia works with me, why didn't you email me and tell me you had her stuff? Patricia doesn't know where she sits, so she left it with you, why are you being childish about this??"

I'm pissed now. "You now know that the Avon order is on my desk. Claudia and Patricia are adults, I'm sure between the two of them, they can figure this out. If Patricia didn't know where Claudia sat, then she should have left the order at the front desk instead of upstairs in TRAVEL where she assumes I will "fix" things when I get a chance. If Claudia wants her avon order, she needs to talk to Patricia and you need to quit bitching at me because two grown adults can't find each other long enough to exchange avon orders. She should have never accepted an order from someone she didn't know in the first place if she wasn't willing to deliver it. I didn't sell it, I'm not making money on this, I'm not delivering it. Period."

That's how my Monday started off... how is yours going?

Not a cloud in the sky..

2007-01-08T06:07:00.000-08:00

Anyone notice how clear it is outside? Sure, I'm freezing my nipples off, but if you take a second and tilt your head up, you'll see clear blue skies surround you today.

Adam and I are living together now... it's kinda ''unofficial'' in the sense that we are still preparing for the ''Big Move" in April where we'll move into OUR own apartment instead of just "sharing space" in MY apartment right now. A one bedroom is a tight squeeze, but I'm lovin' every minute of it.

I love waking up and seeing his face there next to me.

I love that he yells "Hey hunny, do you see my keys over there?!" from the kitchen in the morning.

I love how cute he looks with his two shirts, two socks, jeans and work boots on as he's walking out the door.

I love that even though he thinks all women are crazy, he thinks it's sweet when I get jealous of him talking about another girl in even a passing sense or when I freak out that he's not holding me as closely as he did the other day or when I force him to watch my favority reality tv show, Beauty and the Geek.

We are utterly and completely in love and not one of us can live without the other, yet we are still both human. We have lover's quarrels about the weirdest things, I swear! Lol.. and can you believe at 27, I still have insecurities?! Oh man.. that in itself was a big shock to me. I feel like I'm 16 all over again.. ;)

----------------------

This morning's DUH award goes to a reporter on the channel 11 news cast this morning when he said this about a murder story from last night: "Two new victims shot to death means two more dead.."

Uh.... DUH! (if you're shot to death and you die, that's why..)

Best of HNT

2007-01-04T11:44:00.000-08:00

I just started blogging again, and I noticed that last week Os did a "Best of" theme for HNT. I haven't participated in HNT in quite a long while, and honestly I don't know if my HNT posts are still up on this blog or not... I changed my blog website addy earlier this year... and I'm too lazy to check. At any rate, since I don't have any old HNT photos stored on my computer and since I'm too lazy to see if they are still somewherez on this bloggy, I'll present you with some of my favorite "Never Before Seen" 2006 HNT photoz...

This photo was taken at the San Diego Zoo when I road-tripped there in July(ish).. I don't really remember what month it was (short-term memory and all.. ). Anyways, this is the folliage that's on the steps around the viewing areas of the different animals. Like a goober, I climbed up on the concrete ledge and posed for this picture :) It's my favorite pic from San Diego. (On a side note: It's been pointed out to me that in all the pics of me from San Diego, I'm either flicking the camera off (my signature move in most photographs) or smiling with my mouth open.)

This photo was taken right before my cousin's wedding in October. It was the weekend after I started dating Adam and he wasn't going, so I sent him this picture via cell phone :) I like it cause it shows my boobage rather nicely, dontcha think?? (pay no attention to the dirty towel hanging on the back of the closet door behind me..)

This picture was taken with my cell phone in "sketch" mode... again with the boobage..

That was then.

2007-01-04T06:39:00.000-08:00

12 MONTHS OF QUESTIONS

JANUARY

1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?

Adam and I have resolved to quit smoking. We shared our last cig last night (after a heated debate.. more on that later, maybe..). He said he was going to try to go all day today without smoking. We'll see how that goes. He's more of a smoker at work, and I'm more of a smoker at home.. but I'm determined to make us smoke free cause it's not healthy and I can't breathe as well anymore and all his clothes stink!

2. Who kissed you at midnight?

At midnight I was fast asleep.

3. Does it snow where you live?

It doesn't normally. On Christmas this past year, it was 80 degrees and humid. In 2003, it snowed on Christmas Eve in the middle of the night. I remember running outside in just my pjs and slippers to take pictures and make snowmen on random cars in the parking lot of my Clear Lake apartment.

4. Do you like hot chocolate?

Love it! I prefer it over coffee, and it's the only thing I order from Starbucks. I received $60 in Starbucks giftcards this year for Christmas and I'm down to $20.. all spent on "grande hot chocolate with whipped cream, please."

5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?

Nope, never even been to NYC, but it is a goal of mine. Maybe not to see the ball drop cause it's craziness in a bottle during the holidays in NYC, but just to visit and see the big city would be great.

FEBRUARY

1. Who was your Valentine?

I didn't technically have a valentine. I wasn't "dating" anyone at the time, but Secret Lover Dood came over that night. I wish I hadn't let him.

2. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your class?

Yes, and on the valentines that went to the boys I liked, I'd draw a little heart by their name... Wonder if they ever noticed...

3. Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?

Not particularly.

MARCH

1. Are you Irish?

Are they from Mexico?

2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?

Sometimes.

3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day?

Went to Bennigan's and discovered what 151 will do to your intestines.

4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?

Not really. Winter is only like 2 weeks long and it only goes below 40 degrees once or twice, so the winter leaves much to be desired.

APRIL

1. Do you like the rain?

Nope. I'm not a big fan of rain. My first accident ever was in the rain. My car tires are getting old so my car slips and slides on the road whenever it rains. And in October, it rained for four days straight and my car flooded.

2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?

Not personally, no. But I aided in an April's fool joke that I wish I hadn't b/c it ultimately involved the police, lawyers, and a co-worker in tears.

3. Do you get tons of candy on Easter?

I was relaxing in the country on Easter with my cousin, Rachel's inlaws. I don't remember there being any candy, but there were tons of fajitas and mexifood.

MAY

1. What's your favorite kind of flower?

Daisies or Tulips.

2. Do you like the spring?

Yes... anything other than the summer's smoldering heat is a good thing.

3. Finish the phrase "April showers":

on my flowers.

4. What is the first color you think of when you think of Spring?

Yellow.

JUNE

1. What year did/will you graduate from high school?

1998.

2. Did you realize nothing special happens in June?

Birthdays are nothing special?? Father's Day is nothing special?? How rude.

JULY

1. What did you do on the Fourth of July?

Every year, my parents and I go to a friend of the family's house for pool volleyball, air hockey, and food. :)

2. Did you go on any vacations during this month?

I went on a roadtrip to San Di-frickin'-ego with good friends Jeni and Emma.

3. Do you blast the A/C all day?

Absolutely! It's 98 degrees in the shade in Houston during the summer. Consequently, my energy bill AND my gas bill double during this time of year.

AUGUST

1. Did you do anything special at the end of your summer?

I met Adam (and secretly planned to stalk him until he was mine. I won!), and I started training in the Travel Department.

2. What was your favorite summer memory?

My favorite summer memory was going to the Hot Sauce Festival with Emma and Eli and Adam and getting to know Adam later that night while all of us ate at Red Lobster. Eli and Emma were telling me funny stories about him from his high school years.

3. Did you have a sunburn?

I don't think I went outside at all this summer. Hmmm.

4. Do you go to the beach a lot?

I go to Galveston a lot, but not neccessarily to go to the beach. We usually hit "The Strand", which is just downtown Galveston, but it's not near the beach. It's just a long street (or "strand" if you will...) with tons of shops and restaurants and local vendors.

SEPTEMBER

1. Did you attend school/college in '06?

Tanks gawd, no.

2. Who is/was your favorite teacher?

I had a Chemistry professor at UT that was super hi-larious and I swore that if he didn't wear loafers without socks (or if he didn't have a wife), that I would sooo marry him.

3. Do you like fall better than summer?

I like anything better than summer.

OCTOBER

1. What was your favorite Halloween costume?

When I was about two, and my dressed me up as a lion. I had the face makeup, the fuzzy suit, tail, and all.. there's an old photo of me somewhere I'll have to dig it up.. I looked oh so cute and oh so hi-larious..

2. Did you trick or treat or go to a party??

I helped set up my friend Anna's Halloween house party. I was there until the guests arrived and then Adam got sick and we had to leave. I didn't know hardly any of them anyways, they were all her work friends.

3.Did you dress up? If so, as what?

I didn't dress up as anything in particular, but I wore this black beaded tank with a silver head piece I bought at Ren Fest.

NOVEMBER

1. Whose house did you go to for Thanksgiving?

My uncle's new house on the other side of town.

2. Do you love stuffing?

I don't. But I'll eat it if it has meat of any kind ;)

3. What are you thankful for?

Adam, my best good friends Rachel and Emma and Gwenie, and all the new friends I've met over the year.

DECEMBER

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?

But of course.

2. If not, what do you celebrate?

I also celebrate my birthday, Adam's best friend Eli's birthday, my friend Natalie's birthday, and Adam's brother Curt's birthday.

3. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?

I'm sure..

4. Get anything special last year?

Adam got me a hand-crafter white gold bracelet that says I love you with a heart full of diamonds.

5. What do you want this year?

More shiny things.

6. Do you like cold weather?

I like anything that will not make my hair go all "fro" on me.

Carry-on luggage only, please!

2007-01-03T13:44:00.000-08:00

It's officially official: Adam has moved in with me. Phrases like, "I'll be home shortly", "Can you pleeeeease do the dishes before I get home?", and "So did you want to go ahead and get a joint bank account?" send me into panic-attack-hissy-fits faster than you can say whos-this-dood-inside-my-house?! We're still ironing out the why-are-your-dirty-pants-on-the-floor-instead-of-in-the-dirty-pile-i-told-you-about-yesterday type issues, but if I ask him pretty please (or threaten to unplug his PS2), then he'll do the dishes, take out the trash (my absolute favorite thing to make boys do), vacuum the floors, and clean the bathroom. I'm pretty firm on the no-cooking issue (I loathe cooking), but I'll make him anything frozen or already-kinda-sorta-prepared-that's-in-a-box to his heart's content. We've already worked out the financial issues as well.. he basically gives me all the money he doesn't need for the week and I pay the bills and spend the rest on shoes. As far as personality goes, he's the complete opposite of me.. I tend to over-exaggerate issues (who me?) and turn things around in my head over and over until I'm flustered and confused and angry and stressed-to-the-max, and he's like, calm down, hun... it's a minor issue, we can work thru this.. it's okay, i'll do whatever you want to do..

The River, The House, The Riverhouse.

2007-01-03T06:31:00.000-08:00

I meant to post these yesterday but, of course, blogger was being retarded. Here are some photos of the Adam's grandparents' riverhouse. It's situated right on the Trinity River in a little town called Romayer, which is a few miles west of Cleveland, Tx.

The area is not particularly nice, but their house is by far the nicest one on the river. They pretty much built it themselves, the interior is gorgeous. Recently, they have started an add-on which extends to the left of this picture and houses a jacuzzi.

This is the river from the balcony's viewpoint, looking to the left. All the trees are barren of course, but it's quiet and I understand why Adam's grandparents like to come out here for days, sometimes weeks, at a time.

This is what I saw when I looked to the right. More dead trees, more silent river, and a campfire waiting for company. Did you know there are still stars in the country? It was cold and black and quiet and wonderful. That's how I spent my New Year's Eve.

Happy Nude Rear

2007-01-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

On New Year's Eve, I went to bed at 9pm. Earlier that day, Adam and I had driven an hour and half to his grandparents' river house in Romayer (a few miles East of Cleveland, Texas on the Trinity River), had a huge home-cooked meal, ate waaay too much dessert, sat around a camp fire and watched fireworks, and then drove an hour and a half back home. It was 9pm. (See, in the country, it gets dark a lot quicker.. no street lights, city lights, that sort of thing.. so the fireworks and whatnot started 6 hours before midnight)

Adam and I had planned to ''ring'' in the New Year with a ''bang''(wink, wink), but as we laid down (at 9pm like a bunch of old folks), these were our final words..

Me: Hey, baby, are you going to sleep?

Adam (with his eyes closed): No. Did you want to.. um.. do.. something?

Me (with my eyes closed): Sure.

Adam (with his eyes still closed): ...

Me: I'm sleepy.

Adam: Thank god, me too.

Me: Happy New Year, hunny.

Adam: Happy New Year.

Me: Goodnight.

Adam: Goodnight.

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1. Who did you have your last argument with:

Adam. I don't even remember what it was about.. oh yeah.. he said he didn't want to go to his grandparents' house for New Year's Eve.. oop.

2. What's one thing you're embarrassed to admit you love:

Being oogled by creepy men.

3. What's hotter -- toned abs or strong arms:

Strong arms. Particularly forearms. Baseball players have great forearms and we all know that baseball players are hawt.

4. Where was your last makeout session:

In the living room. Before that, in the bed. Before that, the shower. Before that, the car. Before that..

5. Who knows a secret or two about you:

I can't remember who knows what, but I have many secrets. My Ex, Chuck, knows the most. Then my best friend from high school, Anna. Then my cousin, Rachel. Then you guys. (awww.. aren't ya'll special.. )

6. When did you last slack off:

I'm pretty darn close to slacking off right now (aside from the fact that I'm at work).

7. What's the grossest thing you've seen up close:

The male genitalia.

8. Three words to explain why you last threw up:

Too many burritos.

9. Did you ever burn yourself:

What? You mean, on purpose? Huh!? Shit no!

10. What's crazy to you:

Burning yourself on purpose!

11. Favorite cuss word:

Fuck, shit, mutha fucker, whore (I don't think 'whore' is a cuss word, though, because if someone calls you a whore, you probably are one...)

12. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now:

No one to my face, that's for darn sure.

13. Have you ever wanted to make love in a car:

Wanted, yes. Have, yes. Will again?, probably.

14. How high is your shortest skirt/dress:

My shortest skirt is a pair of black pants.

15. Would you ever want to be a model:

Hellsfuckingyes. This is a stoopid question.

16. Have you done drugs:

Hellsfuckingyes. This is a stoopid question.

17. Who is the most experimental person you know:

Anna. She will do anything once. She's driven across country on the road with NIN, slept with a band member of theirs, had orgys with her best friend and a married dood from work, had sex in a barn, moved to Florida with her current boyfriend while her ex-boyfriend is living at her mom's house in Houston...

18. Greatest rock god of all time:

Oh if only I cared..

19. Do you have anything in leather? What is it:

Shoes, belt, gloves, jackets, nothing exciting.

20. Ever cheated on someone:

Yes. On my 21st birthday, I made out with my best friend's boyfriend at a bar, while both my best friend and my current boyfriend were playing pool in the next room. Oop.

21. Do you tell white lies:

Is it a white lie that I left out the other times I had cheated on someone and just told you about the one time?

22. When is your next party:

Tomorrow night. In my pants. And you're invited.

23. One wild fantasy:

Doin' it in a see-thru glass elevator with my ass pressed up on the window above the brass railing.

24. Is it better to give or get:

Give. Then they're like putty in your hands.

25. How do you handle a break-up:

By sleeping with the next guy I see.

26. Did you ever damage someone else's property:

Not really.. I'm too afraid of going to jail if I get caught.

27. An animal you'd hate to be locked up with in a cage:

A liger.

28. Sexiest word in the english dictionary:

Money.

29. Your motivation for tomorrow:

You assume too much.

30. How wild are you:

I'll fuck you like an animal. Rweor.

Ask and ye shall receive :)

2006-12-28T13:47:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, I asked for jewelry. Particularly diamonds. To quote mahself, I said, "Anything shiny." Thankfully, Adam's uncle is a jeweler and he custom designed this for me and hand set the diamonds :) I think it's just loverly. It says, "I love you. "

I have literally run out of things to do today at work. I've been ''done'' with my work since 10am this morning, and it's 4pm now and blogging about nothing is all I can do to keep myself awake!

My company has finally blocked Myspace from our interweb. :( Tis a sad sad day at XYZ Fashion Company because, I swear, 75% of the people here have a site and are actively online during the work day. And with 500 employees, that's quite a few angry Myspacers. This, however, has nothing to do with why I began blogging over here again. I started posting at Blogger a few weeks ago because I was wanting to share more information and stories about what's going on in my life, but so many of my co-workers and family members are on Myspace now that it makes it difficult to talk about personal things. Even jokingly.

Ironically, I've had writer's block lately, and I don't have much to say about anything. Why is it that you feel more comfortable telling your secrets to strangers than to those closest to you? That's a phenomenon that I'll never completely understand.

I'll be back soon with more posts about what a selfish bitch I am, how talk of joint bank accounts make me want to hurl, and how I'm still a control freak trying to control the uncontrollable (aren't we all??)...

One Word

2006-12-20T09:24:00.000-08:00

I'm back. And what would a DaMasta comeback be without stealing a meme from Snavy?

This meme was designed to be answered using one word. What would your answers be? Here are mine:

1. Yourself: Exhausted

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): Wonderful

3. Your hair: Insane

4. Your mother: Unemployed

5. Your father: Tolerant

6. Your favorite item: Condoms

7. Your dream last night: Dark

8. Your favorite drink: Water

9. Your dream car: Limo

10. The room you are in: Front Lobby

11. Your ex: Ass

12. Your fear: Silence

13. What you want to be in 10 years? Alive

14. Who you hung out with last night? Adam

15. What You're Not? Quiet

16. Muffins: Yes

17. One of your wish list items: Diamonds

18. Time: Never-ending

19. The last thing you did: Backspaced

20. What you are wearing: Jacket

21. Your favorite weather: Cold

22. Your favorite book: Pop-up

23. The last thing you ate: Taquitos

24. Your life: Whirlwind

25. Your mood: Anxious

26. Your best friend: Nashville

27. What are you thinking about right now? Christmas

28. Your car: Fuckus

29. What are you doing at the moment? Answering

30. Your summer: Horrid

31. Your relationship status: Loving

32. What is on your TV? Reruns

33. What is the weather like? Humid

34. When is the last time you laughed? Morning

35. What do you think of memes with missing or odd numbered questions: Eh

Stay with me, now..

2006-12-18T06:07:00.000-08:00

I have this friend Jeni, who used to work with me. She moved to San Diego. Upon moving, Jeni, myself and her friend Emma took a road trip to drop Jeni off in San Diego. At the end of the road trip, Emma and I flew back to Houston together. Shortly after, Emma and I became pretty good friends. She lives with her boyfriend, Eli, in some apartments pretty near my work.

Frequently, Emma would invite me over on Friday nights to do random arts and crafts (yes, I'm crafty, dammit) or to put together care packages for our frined Jeni or to decorate her patio for Halloween. Meanwhile, her boyfriend, Eli, would invite his friends over on the same night and they would play video games or whatnot. Sometimes, we would all order food and sit around and visit. Other times, we would all get together on a Saturday or Sunday and go to festivals like the Hot Sauce Festival in Katy, TX or the Ren Fest in Spring, TX.

Adam, Eli's best friend, and I were pretty much the only two that weren't paired off with someone when we went places. See, it was Emma and Eli, Everette and Nikki, Tyler and whats-her-face, and Perry and Alison. And me being Emma's best guud friend and Adam being Eli's best guud friend, we would spend a good amount of time talking to each other during these outtings or at the house hanging out.

On October 14, we all headed out to Spring, Texas to the Renaissance Festival. Emma and I had secretly plotted that this day would be the day that I try to hook up with Adam. Two bottles of Meade and a human-sized maze later, it worked. ;)

He said he'd call me the next day (which, in boy-talk I thought that meant in a week). The next day, he called and we hung out at my house and watched Evil Dead and other cheesy 80s movies. That night, it was raining really badly, but it was late and so he headed home. An hour later, he was banging on my front door and when I opened it, he explained that the freeways had already started to flood and it took him an hour just to make a u-turn at the corner.

It ended up flooding pretty badly that week, and I missed two days of work. Ren Fest was on Oct 14th, Oct 15th he came over my house, and he didn't leave till Oct 18th.

Since then, we've been inseperable.

It's been a hectic two months, but we're moving in together in March at the same apartments that Emma and Eli live, and he wants to marry me by the end of next year. He hasn't proposed or anything, but we've already picked out the ''chapel''..

(I think you can click on the images to see the bigger versions)

The outside of the Chapel at the Ren Fest

The inside of the Chapel

Adam and I

Fattie Rattie Update

2006-12-14T11:57:00.000-08:00

Chibby Chibberson

Nacho Rat

Panda Bear

Chibby rat passed away last month. She had the same lung condition that Quesa had when she passed away. It came on pretty quickly with Chib, though. She started breathing heavy and she lost a ton of weight. The day she died was pretty traumatic. (sorry if this offends weak stomachs) She had started to bleed out one morning, and Adam (my boyfriend) had just left the house. So I called him and told him that I was taking her to the vet (there's one right next to my apt complex).

But when I picked Chibby up out of her cage, she was very squirmy, like she didn't want to be held. I had done this before with Quesa, but I had never encountered this reaction. She simply didn't want to stay still. So I used my left hand to shift the towel I was using to cover her, so holdher tighter on the bottom, and I used my right hand to position her head, but when I did, she bit down on my index finger.

And I'm not talking about just any ole' bite. I'm talking about.. her front teeth actually met inside my finger. It was horrifying, really. She bit down so hard, I had to pry her jaws open so that she could release my finger. She died instantly after that.

At that point, I didn't know whether to cry over her death or over the massive amounts of pain that was shooting thru my finger at the time. I did both, I think! So I called Adam and told him to come back home because I didn't know what to do about my finger. It wouldn't stop bleeding and it was really starting to hurt like hell. Also, I had to move the babies out of the cage and wrap up Chibs for burial.

But my finger healed nicely, and I still have the same cute babies (they are much bigger now than they were when I got them), Nacho Rat and Panda Bear! And even though losing a pet never gets easier, I'm still glad that I keep such great pets as rats :)

Portraits of friends

2006-09-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Going to bars, singing kareoke, drinking beerz... and taking photos..

My friend Gwen checking text messages at Woodrows bar outside on the patio.
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My friend Kevin at Rudyard's bar.. when I asked him if he would be taking the mic during kareoke later.. I take that as a "no"..
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My friend Sarah at The Prolariat during kareoke on Friday.
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I met Max on Friday.. he's a Journalism teacher, a singer, and he let me rub his shoulders all night long.. need I say more??
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A Beautiful Stranger by Madonna, sang by the lovely Melanie..
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Random Photoz

2006-09-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not blogging much these days, yes I know. Don't worry, I'm hardly blogging on myspace either. :P

I just got a new camera phone. It's a Samsung T509 from T-Mobile and it takes the bestest photoz in ze world, IMO. It's actually #4 on the top 10 cell phones to own according to MSN. Read about it here.

So in light of getting a new camera phone, I'd like to post a few random photos for all to see. It's my way of creating a photoblog, if you will.. just a place to ''store'' my random photos. :D (Some of these are taken with the new phone, some with the old phone. All are good. All are random.)

08/24/06 In my car, getting ready to go out on a Thursday night to happy hour.
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Meeting Carlos Mencia at his show on Sept 9th at the Toyota Center in Houston.

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My friend Emma and I at Jillian's for Jeni's g'bye party back in June 2006.

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My friend Randy and I at ze Casino in Lake Charles, LA last month.

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A photo of me, chopped by Brandon, in honor of Talk like a Pirate Day on Sept 19, 2006

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2006-09-15T14:57:00.000-07:00

The new tech guy here, named Ron, asked me out! We're about to head out to a local bar with live music and great drinks! Wish me luck!

Drinky drinky usually leads to winky winky ;-)

2006-09-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

I belong to this group called Thirsty Nights, and we go out to happy hour every Thursday. (get it? get it??) And this Kevin fellow who I went out with a few weeks ago is part of the same group. I assume he's still kinda hung up on his ex girlfriend, but I still wanted to get to know him, and plus I'm trying to get him hired on here at the company I work for, so I was excited about going to Thirsty's last night. We all had a great time, it's really an eclectic group of people, but mainly geeks and people who like indie metal and rock. Whatever that means. LOL. And they are the nicest and funniest people evah. (besides you guys, of course..) When I first showed up at the pub, Kevin was at the bar, so I said hi to him and gave him a hug and he bought me a drink and we went outside to greet everyone. After intros (because this is only my fourth time out and I still don't know everyone), Kevin and I sat and talked about the new job prospect. He's a tech guy, so naturally he's not happy with our company's dress code.. LOL.. slacks are like kryptonite to these guys. Oh well, I guess he'll have to deal if he wants to get paid the big bucks!

At the end of the night, after everyone had left, he walked me out to my car and he was telling me about how to get to the freeway from where we were.. but I was so tipsy that I was staring into his eyes and I could tell he was blabbering on about nothing just to do the same to me.. hehee. He is still really reserved, but he did say that he wants to get to know me more. I am really hoping to get him this job so that way we'll get to hang out more ;)

We're not in chat rooms anymore, Toto.

2006-09-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

So I know I've been gone from blogging for a while and a half and so much has happened, that I should be blogging about.

But yes.. it's true, I've been completely consumed by Myspace, ain't that a bitch?! And I know most of you loathe that site, but those of you who are on Myspace, then look me up by the site with the same name as my blog here: Quesadillas for Breakfast.

The baby rats are doing well, by the way. After day one, Chibbs has moved in as the old, fluffy, mother hen-type. And it's hilarious to see them all sleeping in the same bed with Chibby taking up all the room and the two babies squished in between where ever they can find room.

Brandon recently went thru some rearrangements at his office, and between having to move his desk and catch up on work he had missed, he hasn't been able to chat consistantly in quite some time. It's actually pissing me off and I'm not sure I have the right to be upset. I guess I've just been spoiled by all the attention that I feel abandoned if he's not talking to me during the whole day. Weird, eh? It's been a week since we've talked all day and I'm getting paranoid now.. thinking, what if we're growing apart now? What if we live two seperate lives now? What if he's gotten so used to me not being there that he actually prefers not to talk to me now? I tell ya.. it's driving me crazy just thinking about it.

Also, I've been venturing outside my comfort zone and doing things that I never thought I'd enjoy again. I've been meeting new people and seeing new bands and hanging out at new bars and just enjoying being around lots of different people. One co-worker here knows a guy named Jason Ashley. He's a cute country singer, who just got signed in Nashville and hopefully some day will make it big! He's opening for Trace Adkins sometime during his tour next year. Also, I've seen this local Austin band called The War Against Sleep, and the band members are good friends with another co-worker of mine. What's cool about knowing the band is that you pretty much get free drinks, the best seats in the house and all the good smoke ;) Heh heh.. just kidding! (kinda)

On the other hand, all the guys I've met thus far, while really hella nice, have been duds. One of them, Robert, I guess decided that he was too good for me and never called me back. One of them, Kevin, is part of my Thursday night happy hour group, but has decided that he's not completely over his ex girlfriend. Another one, Chris, is a ghetto white boy... yeeeah.. that's right.. he's white, shaved head, talks likes he's black. What the fuck. But I'm not really getting down about the guys, I'm just happy to be meeting people and being bold by asking them out and having fun going out on dates.

I realized that I have such a great variety of friends lately. I've always been the kind to stick to one or two people rather than have a bunch of aquaintances. But ya know what, it's been really liberating having seven or eight different groups of people to hang out with. It has definitely kept my calendar busy, that's for sure. I've been to Louisiana this month already and next month, I'm going to Austin on Halloween night to see a special show by a live band! Also, I'm going to Beaumont in Oct to see Jason Ashley again! Just Sept and Oct alone, I have a craft night, a bridal shower, a trip to Beaumont, a trip to Austin, a wedding, a swap meet/girl's night, seven happy hours, a pampered chef party, and a company walk-a-thon. It's gonna be one hell of a busy month. So if you don't see me for a while, you know why. And now you know where to find me.

Remember, I'm on Myspace, too: www.myspace.com/quesadillasforbreakfast I also blog on there!

I just realized... I should blog here more often. :P

I heart Spinning Girl. Bring her to me.

2006-08-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

Spinning Girl answers questions from fellow bloggers.

Ain't she the greatest? She loves me and I don't even know why.

But I know that when (not if) I meet her, it will be love at first kiss.

I hope she wouldn't mind eating quesadillas for the rest of her breakfasts,

because that's the only thing I know how to make.

Southern Dent-hell

2006-08-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

Scheduling a dentist appointment with a fucking huge ass dental company, who employs (as I found out) only the stoopidest people on the face of this Earth, shouldn't be like pulling teeth.

Here's how it all went down.

*brrriiiiing*

(the call first goes to the central call center. you'd have to know someone important to get to actually talk to a local office employee.)

Dumbass Dental Employee: Hello, this is Dumbass Dental Employee of Dumbass Dental Company, how may I completely avoid your question and refuse to help you?

DaMasta: Hi, I was a patient at the Dumbass Dental Company in Clear Lake a couple of years ago, and I have new insurance and such now, and I was wondering if you guys still have me on file?

DDE: Ok, sure, so you want to make an appointment?

DM: Well, no.. firs---

DDE: Yes, we have your files here, says you had United Healthcare.

DM: Well, yes, I did. But I've changed now. I have Delta Dental. And it says here that you guys take those plans.

DDE: Well, we'd have to verify your insurance. It doesn't look like it's been verified yet.

DM: Um. Right. Cause, ya know, I just called you and told you that I have different insurance.

DDE: Yes, ma'am. You used to have United Healthcare. Do you not have that any more?

DM: Um. No. But if you'll hand me that bat, maybe I can beat it in your head that I've gotten new insurance.

DDE: Excuse me, ma'am?

DM: Nevermind. Yes, I have new insurance.. do you need the 800 number and my member number to verify it?

DDE: Um.. we don't verify insurance.

DM: What?

DDE: Yeeeah, we wait for a list of people who are newly covered this month, and we haven't gotten August's list yet. You'll have to wait till we get it.

DM: I've been covered for a while. I wouldn't be on that list. Can't you just call--

DDE: I'm sorry ma'am, you'll have to wait till the list comes in.

DM: So, you can't schedule me an appointment at. all. even though I have insurance?

DDE: Not until the list comes in. Or until your insurance gets verified.

DM: Listen, can you just transfer me to the local office? I'm tired of talking to you.

DDE: And what is the call regarding?

DM: WTF?!?! Um.. let's see.. it's regarding me needing to speak to someone at the local office and about you not being able to help me.

DDE: Umm... ma'am.. they won't let me transfer a call for that reason.

DM: Well then tell them whatever will get the call transfered to them.

DDE: ....

DM: Listen, you're acting like you don't want to transfer the call.

DDE: No no, it's not that..

DM: Do you even work for Southern Dental?

DDE: Ma'am, I've been working here for several years.

DM: Then transfer my call.

(My call was transfered to the local office in Clear Lake where the receptionist told me that I needed to go thru the call center to get my insurance verified and to schedule an appointment. After explaining that the representitives at the call center lacked the vital intelligence it took to perform such tasks, I was put on hold for ten minutes and no one ever picked up the line again. I then called a local private practice and in five minutes the receptionist booked an appointment and verified my insurance for me. God help the call center girl if I ever cross her path.)

If you could read one blog for the rest of your life, would it be mine?

2006-08-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

1. If you could only keep one of your five senses, which would you keep?
my sense of touch. i was gonna say ''sense of taste''. wait, is that a sense? but, i think it would be nice to be able to eat salads without tasting the lettuce.

2. If you had to spend one year alone in the wilderness, where would you go?
wait. what? seriously, folks, i don't do wilderness. i'm too much of a city girl. omg.. can you imagine my hair in the wilderness? puh-leeez. and i'll only ''go camping'' if a log cabin with running water and electricity is involved.

3. If you could enact one law in your country that does not currently exist, what would it be?
i would make animal abuse a felony. i know technically it's already against the law, but i don't think the laws are serious enough on this issue. i did small animal rescue for over a year and you wouldn't believe the stoopid idiots they allow to have pets. it's rediculous. it's the sadest thing ever to see a helpless pet neglected by a capable human being. it breaks my heart. humans suck.

4. If you were kidnapped and allowed to call one person for one minute only, who would you call?
my dad for sure. he's smart, he's calm, and for all i know he probably has a million dollars stashed somewhere in case of an emergency.

5. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?
i'd be an elephant trainer! how cute are elephants!!

6. If you could change the ending of any one book ever written, which one would you pick, and how would you change it?
at the end of fox in sox where the tweetle beetles battle with paddles in a puddle. i would change that. i'm anti violence. :P

7. If you had to cancel one day of the week forever, which day would go?
Tuesday. It's useless. Nothing ever exciting happens on tuesday. There'd be monday, then the middle of the week, then thurday--the beginning of partying and then the weekend. Perfecto.

8. If you were to be given an acting role in a current T.V. show, who would you want to play?
i'd be meredith gray. w000000000000000t. bumpin uglies with mc dreamy, chris o'donnell, and o'malley in the same season??? hellz yeah.

9. If you could wear only one color, besides black or white, for the rest of your life, what would you wear?
yikes. for the rest of my life? let's say navy blue. it's nice and neutral. and i probably wouldn't look redic wearing it 24/7 for the rest of my life.

10. If you could have the answer to any question, what would you ask?
Do we really stop dreaming after we're dead?

Go on, tag yourself.

Heard Around Town: Superman Edition

2006-08-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

Yesssssssssssssssssss! I finally saw it. Last night my little sister and I went to the Edwards Marque and watched Superman in IMAX 3-D. It was everything I dreamed it would be.

Here are a few conversations that took place throughout the night:

Scene: Krystal (a 17-year old recent high school grad) is questioning the scientific mechanics of what makes a 3-D movie seem real. Erica (a wanna-be-know-it-all isn't going to be stumped by a mere 17 year old)

Krystal: ''So how does 3-D work?"

Erica (knowingly about to make up complete bullshit, but still says matter-of-factly): ''Well, normally when your eyes watch the movie screen, you're watching two layers of film at the same time and that's 2-D. But, in order to make something 3 dimensional, the filmmakers have to seperate the two layers so that when your eyes see them it's converting the two layers into three dimensions using your eyes at the third layer. Thus, you can see the movie in 3-D''

Krystal (confused as hell): ''Well...then....what are the 3-D glasses for?''

Erica (confused as hell): ''Aw, damn, Krystal, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Scratch the whole theory.''

Scene: If you've seen Superman Returns, there's a part in the movie where one of the rich widow's dogs eats the other in order to survive. We start discussing the classic theory of Survival of the Fittest which then turns into Survival of the Sisters. While Krystal is strong in her own right, she knows better than to question the raw survival tactics of her sister Erica.

Krystal (commenting on why the dog was eaten): ''That's survival of the fittest.''

Erica (feciciously): ''Yeah, you know you'd be the one getting eaten, right?''

Krystal (defensive): ''Yeah, right.. I'd kick somebody in the as--..''

Erica: ''Umm.. I meant between you and I. Yeeeeeah.. you'd get eaten for sure.''

Krystal (defeated): ''Oh.Yeah.''

Goings on.

2006-07-31T12:15:00.000-07:00

Yup.

When we last talked, I was reconnecting with an old classmate from high school named Michael.

He just got out of a long relationship. Fiance, rented house in a ritzy neighborhood, about to graduate college.

He was very upfront. We made out something good and then decided to spend some time apart. This was a mutual decision. I told him, call me in a few weeks, let me know what's going on. We obviously liked each other. Obviously.

Two weeks went by and he called me. He wanted to see me. I fell for it. A girl has her needs, right? Justify it all you want, it's still too soon. I slept with him that night.

And again a week later.

Only on Thursdays. Only when his week was over and he had some time to see me. Only on his terms. Regardless if I had to wake up early the next morning. I would drive. 60 miles north. 60 miles to see him. 60 miles of regret on the way home. And holy damn, my gas bill was outrageous last month.

Everytime I spoke with him he mentioned it feeling good to ''do his own thing.'' Yup. He would call me. He would text me. Yet. He wanted to ''do his own thing.''

Saturday night:

Michael: "I'm at work, and I feel like shit.''
Me: "Aw.. I'm sorry sweetie, are you sick?''
Michael: ''I don't know. It sure feels that way.''
Me: ''Well, call me when you get off work if you need anything. I'll bring you whatever.. meds, soup.. just let me know.''

I heard nothing from him until he got off work. And then he called me.

"Hey Erica.. I just got off work.. I took a shower, I feel much better now.''
''Good! I'm glad.. so what are you going to do tonight?''
"Oh, you know.. stay at the house.. do my own thing..''
''Oh really? Hmm.. maybe I should do my own thing too.''
''Yeah, that would probably be best.''
''Yeah, I think I should just leave you alone..''
''Right. Before we go any further.''
"Well, I don't know how we can go any further.. but.. yeah.. whatever.."
''Ok, I'll call you tomorrow.''
"Yup.''

Two days later and I haven't heard anything. I think it's pretty much done.

Later that night, my ex called me and asked if he could come over. He was on his way back from a fishing trip and my apartment was on his way home. So I said sure. Yeeeah. Bad decision on my part. Nothing happened, I fell asleep on the couch and he fell asleep on the floor and he left around 2am. But when he was at the door leaving, he paused... like he wanted to kiss me or something.. I just said go ahead and open the door.. like I didn't know what he wanted. He left. The next day he called me and said he loved me. I shuddered at the thought.

I liked him a long time ago. A time before high school. Nearly 13 years ago. The day for him and I has passed.

I pulled up a number that I hadn't used in a while.. this guy named Keith that I met at a happy hour about a month ago. We talked, I visited with him for a little while the other night. He was excited to see me. I thought.. ok, cool. Yeah... no. He texted me the first night at 4am, the second night at 2am. Finally I said.. I'm not a hooker or your booty call, so what's the deal with texting me in the middle of the night?! I got an apology minutes later, but I wasn't satisfied with that.

Also, I'm completely in love with Brandon, and I wish he wanted me forever. And then I feel like an ass for wanting that because he has a girlfriend. It kills me.

I want what I can't have. I feel so alone even when surrounded by friends. No matter who calls me, I want it to be someone else. I feel so defeated. Such a failure.

Damn the life of a single girl.

It happened again. Like it always does.

2006-07-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

I have a lot on my mind these days. I'll explain it all another time, because, like always, I'm in a hurry. I'm ready to leave this city, I'm ready to get married, I'm ready to start my new job, I'm ready to cut my losses, I'm ready to cry all night long, I'm ready to keep living in denial, I'm ready to stay right where I'm at.

It happened again last night. The sky turned purple and the clouds rolled by without noticing the world below it.

I-45 North near Spring, Tx.

Spinning dreams, purple nights.

2006-07-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

Last night, I walked out of my parents' house at 8:45pm

and it was bright as day.

As I looked up at the sky,

I saw a beautiful purple hue sweeping across the clouds.

It was amazing. You can see below a picture of the sky at around 8:45pm.

It is still light as day (as seen above),

but the camera was only picking up light from the sky.

Even my cousin on the opposite side of town

took the time to capture a picture.

From her camera phone:

As I stood in awe, staring at the colors above,

I only had one thing on my mind.

In a world spinning out of control,

there are still moments where I forget about it all.

This may or may not be a sucky post.

2006-07-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, this blog is inspired by the very best writer I may or may not know.

This weekend I may or may not have realized that I may or may not be in love with the very best man in the whole wide world who is also my best friend who is also lightyears [ok, actually a state and a half] away and who is also currently unavailable [aren't they all].

Also, I may or may not be totally fed up with a certain someone who keeps filling my head with reasons why he may or may not be interested in dating me all the while calling us ''just friends'' and all the while blowin up my celly every day.

So, can anyone explain boys to me again... I don't think I took notes that day in class.

Also, I may or may not have seen Superman this weekend due to it raining so bad and also because I thought it was showing in Galveston, but I ended up being oh so very wrong. I may or may not see it at the Edwards Marque theater later on this weekend.

Also, I may or may not have gotten a very cool phone call from a very cool friend and her boyfriend while they are vacationing in Seattle. I'm telling you, people, I'm not the only funny person in the world.. there are much funnier people than me who may or may not be vacationing in Seattle right now. I can't wait till she gets back so we can catch up!

Finally, I may or may not have gotten seriously fugged up last night and I may or may not be really paying for it today. Gah.

We look like tourists.

2006-07-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here's a pic of me and mah boyz at our favorite mexifood lunch spot, Escalante's at Meyerland.

There's Bennifer [the dood on the left standing by me], there's me [I'm the only ''me'' in the pic], and there's John [the dood posing (wtf?) in the chair]

Bennifer you might remember as ''Married IT Dood'' and John you might remember as "DJ Stoopid''. Yup. That's us.

Ok, and here's the version that my best good friend Bsoholic made in his neat little photoshop program. Thanks, hun.. yeah..we needed that.. :P

Hey, this would make a kick ass christmas card.

Have a great weekend everyone. I hope you enjoyed ze photos. Mwuah!

HNT: I'm too sexy for my tank.

2006-07-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

I'm loud, I'm charming, I'm witty,

I'm over-dramatic, I'm callous,

I'm contradicting, I'm lovely to be around,

I'm the life of the party, I'm reserved,

I'm clever, I'm utterly comical,

I'm sexy, I'm facinating, I'm flirtatious,

I'm never daring, I'm always instigating..

And that's only when I'm drunk..

Let me know what you think about me here: Johari/Nohari

Join the after-party: Osbasso's pad.

5 Things

2006-07-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm doing this survey because it's all the fad. Don't believe me? Look here and here. They tagged me, by the way... they just didn't know it.

And since I have no idea what the hell is in my purse, let me dig into my drawer and get it out.. along with my wallet... Ok, let's get started:

5 Things always in my purse:
1. My time card on a shoelace.
2. Gum of some sort.
3. Keys to my Fuckus.
4. A bag full 'o' makeup. [Bare Escentuals, in case you're wondering.]
5. Lip gloss [Bath and body works, in case you're wondering.]

5 Things always in my wallet:
1. My employee discount card to [XYZ Fashion] Department stores.
2. Brandon's address.
3. A card from my mom that has a poem on it entitled ''Don't Quit''.
4. A note written by an ex-coworker of mine when she was ''pretending'' to be this cute dood I had a crush on.. she wrote it just to make me feel good.. it says "hi babe, would you like to go on a date with me? <3, cute dood.

5 Things always in my refrigerator:
1. Bad milk [I hate grocery shopping. Let's get that over with from the beginning of this list.]
2. Butter [For to make smashed potatoes with.]
3. Kraft Finely Shredded Cheese with 2% milk [For to sprinkle on my tacos.]
4. Sugar Free Red Bull [For to cure hangovers.]
5. Something unidentifiable <----I think we can all identify with that one, Lime.

5 Things always in my closet:
1. My one suitcase. And within it, seven duffle bags.
2. Shoes: sandals, heels, flip flops, one pair of black boots, several brown shoes, one pair of tennis shoes, Doc sandals, heels, boat shoes [even though I don't own a boat], and dressy shoes.
3. Laundry baskets. One regular, one pop up kind.
4. One belt. I'm fat. I don't wear belts.
5. My winter and my summer clothes. Shorts, jeans, long sleeves, short sleeves, coats, sweaters, tanks, slacks, capris, dresses... in no particular order.

5 Things always in my car:
1. My gym membership card. So I never have to stumble around at 4:40am looking for it.
2. Coins. In the most random places.
3. My iGrip. Not for the iPod I don't have. For the cell phone I do have.
4. A spare tire. I've had more flats this year than I'd wish on my worst enemy.
5. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is in my glove box.

5 (or more) Things always on my desk:
1. A microphone that doesn't work that goes to the paging system we don't have.
2. My computer screen on and my gmail chat up.
3. Of course what kind of receptionist would I be without a phone?
4. My Tervis Tumbler. It keeps cold cold and hot hot and doesn't sweat.
5. A thank you note from my boss's boss.
6. A list of people who annoy me. I mean.. a company phone list.
7. My ''high maintenance fund'' jar.
8. A mirror. For to look at me.
9. The massage schedule.

In the meantime..

2006-07-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, while I'm working on my ''5 things'' post, indulge me a little if you will..

I had an easy enough time filling out the ''good'' things about myself.. but the ''bad'' part was considerably harder. And not because I can't think of anything bad about myself, but quite the opposite.. I couldn't choose more than six things.

Well, maybe you can do better than I did.
Please do this. I can take it. I promise.

Be mean here.
Then make it up to me and be nice here.

Do it, I say.

Cankles and wine and hangovers, oh my!

2006-07-17T06:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend was another filled with

wine, friends, and fun.

And it was at this wine party on Saturday

that I learned a new word:

Cankles: the absense of a definite seperation between your calves and ankles.

In other words, one fluid, yet less desirable, muscle shape that

extends from the back of your knee to the back of your ankle.

So, of course, I'm curious to know if I posess such

an unsightly body part.

For comparision, here are two pictures of my [hopefully seperate] calf and ankle.

You be the judge:

Well, whatever it is, I hope you like my shoes.

Those are my most favorite party shoes. [read: they make me tall]

Also, I absolutely love how you can see into my bathroom from this picture angle.

Great. That's lovely.

I hope you guys have a better morning than I am I having right now.

I was hungover yesterday, took a four hour nap, went to sleep at midnight, and still woke up at 4:40am to go to the gym. I'm so tired right now that it feels like I'm dreaming.

Ask DaMasta

2006-07-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

The always lovely Snavylyn has written me some fine questions for me today. I love interviews because, well.. honestly... I like talking about myself. And before you gasp in disbelief, isn't the purpose of a blog to talk about yourself? Hmm?? Yup. Thought so.

Ok, then.. here we go..

[ OH.. and feel free to ask me questions as well. Just leave them in my comments. Anything at all. Anything. At all. Just ask. ]

1. Do you think giving pets as gifts is a good idea and why? Umm.. yeah... no. I don't think giving a pet of any kind is ever a good idea. I don't care if it's a fucking goldfish. It might be a goldfish that someone doesn't want. People are so picky about pets and buying or adopting a pet is a very personal thing and it should take a considerable amount of time to pick one out.

OH.. and if you're living with a psycho in.. hmm.. let's say.. Tennessee and you're thinking about dumping her but every time you do, she pulls you back in with her tears and lies and deceit, then yeah.. buying her a pet as a gift is definitely NOT a good idea. Not that I know anyone like that.. I'm jussayin'..

2. You always write about "secret lover boy". How did you meet him and develop into "friends with benefits"? In January of last year, I moved into my grandmother's house while I attended college part time and worked part time. My uncle and aunt live two houses down and would frequently have friends over for BBQ's and such. Yeah, so, Secret Lover Boy was a son of a friend of my uncle's and a frequent visitor to these get togethers. Well, one night, in a drunken stooper, I tried to seduce Secret Lover Boy while he walked me home [yes, two doors down, but I swear I couldn't stand because of all the liquor ;) ] but he politely refused to make out with me because he didn't want to upset my grandmother or any other member of my family. [Yeah, so I guess I wasn't supposed to fraternize with my uncle's friend's son because I was just a young girl.. and SLB was 11 years older than me. Oop.]

So, I guess long story short: he gave me his number, we got together once I got my own place, and since he's an ass who doesn't want a "girlfriend" and the sex is so good, we've become friends with benefits. LOL. It's not a particularly glamorous story, but that's life.

We've had our ups and downs and he's broken my heart once or twice, but we always end up together again. I call him my place holder, and I honestly, I haven't had sex with anyone else other than him in the year and a half that we've been "together".

3. Where did the name Damasta come from? Ha. Uh.. honestly, when I was younger [read: in high school], I used to walk around the house on my birthday yelling: CELEBRATE MY BIRTH! I AM DA MASTA OF DA UNIVERSE!.. *sigh*.. I had issues.

4. Rats? How, when and why did this become the ideal pet? A few years ago, around 2002, my friend Anna, the animal trainer, was working at the Houston Zoo and she was taking this class on how to train animals and they told everyone in the class to get a rat to practice on.

After the class was over, Anna had this big beautiful and gentle Agouti rat named Juno, with really no place to keep her. Since I had just gotten my apartment in Clear Lake and was looking for a pet to liven up the place, she gave Juno to me and told me all about rats and how great of a pet they were and so on. So now I had this big huge rat that could do tricks like scratch her leg on command, turn around in a circle on command and touch targets on command.

Soon after, I joined Yahoo Ratlist and learned so much about keeping rats and what to feed them and how social and wonderful they were and I also read about how it's not really good to keep just one, so that's when I bought Quesa Dilla, my beige and white hooded rat.

I've had several rats over the years, probably around 8 or so, but right now I only have Chibby Chibberson.. who is a blue hooded rattie who comes when I call her and loves to sleep on me.

For more info about rats, just in case you're interested.. visit www.dapper.com.au I know Robyn from Yahoo ratlist and she has only the finest most beautiful rats ever!

5. Being from Texas, do you hold yourself somewhat responsible for the whole Bush fiasco? Ha. No. I never once voted for him while he was in Texas. Maybe because I wasn't old enough or maybe because I didn't care enough about politics. And I've never voted for him in a presidental election for the same reasons. But I wouldn't call it a fiasco. I mean really, he's the leader of the free world at a time of war. I wouldn't wish that position on my worst enemy.

2006-07-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to the Aquarium Downtown, where my friend Anna works as an animal trainer. She let me feed one of the white tigers she works with named Nero! And as you can see, I didn't feed him with my hands, but rather put meat on a stick and put it in his cage. I wanted to put the stick up high because I wanted to see how big his paws were!! And holy damn was he gi-normous! O_O

The trainers never ever go in the cages, for obvious reasons, so they train them thru the cage bars. There's a line on the ground that tells you how close you CAN get to the cage, but after the feeding, I was actually allowed to put my hand against the bars while the tiger rubbed his face against the cage. It was so frickin awesome and horrifying at the same time! I was excited and scared shitless. This was such a massively strong and beautiful animal and I was just honored to even be petting it.

Anna then took be for more "behind the scenes" action and I saw a 20 ft python, baby sting rays, a chinese aligator, and pihranas. It was so awesome to see her in her element and it just blows my mind that Anna can train just about any animal that she wants. She says it's all control and conditioning.

Hmmm..wonder if it works on boys...

2006-07-07T16:01:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I'm cranky. What of it?

2006-07-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so this dood said he wouldn't go out with me cause I gossip too much. I said, it's not like I gossip about other people, I gossip about myself. I guess he souldn't read my blog, huh?

Also, he said I was high maintenance. Yeaaaah. Cause ya know, I live off other people's money and I buy atleast one Coach purse a week. What? What do you mean you saw me at the Payless half price sale? I swear that wasn't me..

If you haven't heard these stories, or maybe you want to see what I've been up to, please visit me at www.myspace.com/quesadillasforbreakfast. Everyone's doing it. Might as well be you too.

Brandon was gone for almost a week, and I missed him terribly. I thought I was on a nice good friendship level with him, and then I dreamt about him the other night. Yep. We made out something good. Gah.

OH, and let's not forget that the new dood I was talking to turned out to be a snob and basically told me that he didn't like feeling "obligated" to call me everyday [even though it was *he* who did the calling everyday during Cali] and that he thought it best that he make friends on *his* side of town. Oh, he lives in The Woodlands, which is a rich-y side of Houston and the ONLY reason he even lives there is because he was engaged to a chick who leased the house and completely furnished it herself. He didn't pay a penny. And now all of a sudden, he's a snob? Yeah. Right. Suck my nuts, asshole.

OH, and yes, I know my stoopid web page is farked up because I put those ginormous photos on there, but if blogger would stop being a fucking prick and let me upload photos, maybe I wouldn't have to host them and post big ass photos here.

I need a boyfriend. I hate taking out the trash myself.

Complete from A to Z.

2006-07-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

A
Available: Devastatingly
Age: 26 going on 40
Annoyance: Being embarrassed in public, bad hair days, slow cars in the fast lane, working on days before holidays, not being famous, soggy french fries, rude customers, ungrateful people, and banana flavored candy.

B
Best Friend: I'd have to go with Brandon on this one.
Beer: I prefer Ambers, Shiner Light, Michelob Ultra, Corona, MGD Light, BJ's Brewery's Red.
Birthday: December 27th

C
Crush: Cute vendor dood
Car: 2005 Ford Fuckus.
Candy: I prefer cheesecake.

D
Day or night: Day for dreaming, night for playing.
Dream Car: Limo [driver included, of course.]
Dog Or Cat: Either, I'm pretty much an animal lover. But rats are much easier to care for.

E
Easiest person to talk to: I'll talk to anyone as long as they listen.
Eggs: Scrambled.
Email: erica.supafly@gmail.com

F
Favorite Month: December. The warm clothes, the hot chocolate, space heaters, seeing your hot breath on the cold air, busy shopping malls, family gatherings, my birthday, jingling bells. And yes, I love Christmas songs.
Favorite color: Pink, black, anything pink or black that sparkles.
Favorite Memory: Wow. I can't pick just one. Traveling is always fun. I certainly had a blast going to see Kenneth graduate in Rolla, MO with Anna.

G
Gummy Bears or Worms: Sour worms.
Giver or taker: Giver, to my dimise.
Gum: Never cinnamon or spearmint or juicyfruit. Orbit White Bubblemint is good.

H
Hair Color: Deep brown.
Height: 5'5''
Happy: takes a lot more effort than anger, but it's worth it.

I
Ice Cream: Cookies N Cream
Instrument: Clarinet and air drums.
Idol: American

J
Jewelry: Silver mostly. Almost never a watch.
Jail: Nope. And don't call me to bail yer azz out, either.

K
Kids: Can you imagine the horror?
Kickboxing or Finger Painting: My paintings hang in my living room. I sure am better at kickboxing, though. I have a killer right hook.

L
Longest Car Ride: I recently drove to California, but we did it in two days. So, while technically it was longer because it took more days, I'd have to say that driving straight through California in 2000 was the longest car ride *ever*. Nonstop 26 hours worth of driving in a two seater with my boyfriend and a Pink cd.
Longest relationship: The afore mentioned boyfriend holds the record at two years.
Last Kiss: Secret Lover Boy, yesterday. A 'friend' with 'benefits'.

M
Milk flavor: Chocolate and never ever strawberry.
Most missed person (s): My great uncle.
Movie Last Watched: 8 below. Suuuuuuuuucked.

N
Number of Siblings: One younger sister.
Number of Tattoos: None. Low pain tolerence + chronic indecisiveness = no tattoos.
Name: Erica. But you can call me Erica.

O
One wish: For something tall, dark, and handsome.
One Phobia: Coming to work with no pants on.
One regret: Coming to work with no pants on.

P
Pet Peeves: Men with no manners.
Part of your appearance you like best: My calves.
Part of your Personality you like best: My humor.

Q
Quick or Slow: Slow thinking, quick talking. Not a good combo, btw.

R
Reason to smile: My job, my apartment, my car, my friends
Reality TV Show: My Fair Brady
Reason to cry: Someone poking me in the eye.

S
Song Last Heard: Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. I hate that song.
Season: Fall, a week before Winter.
Shoe: Anything with a heel. [read: anything that can make me taller.]

T
Time you woke: 6:10am
Time Now: 11:48am
Time for bed: 9pm. Anything after that and I'm cranky the next day.

U
U love someone: Of course.
Unpredictable: Unfortunately, I'm not. I'm a planner. And I always order the same thing at my favorite restaurants.

V
Vegetable you hate: Spinich. Tastes like someone already did the chewing for me.
Virgin: Not my margaritas or my men.
Vacation spot: I'd like to plan a trip to Spain later this year.

W
Worst Habits: Forgetfulness, procrastination, not seperating my lights and darks.

X
X-Rated Porn: Um. No?

Y
Year you were born: 1979
Year it is now: Wait..wait... I know this one...
Yellow: sun.

Z
Zoo Animal: I have a fit if we don't stop by the elephants.
Zodiac: Crapricorn.

Where u go?

2006-06-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

So if you guys are wondering where I've been this past month...

I've been playing over here: www.myspace.com/quesadillasforbreakfast

Yup. That's right. I'm a myspace whore now. I thought it was super ghey when someone mentioned it to me a few months ago, but then my friend Jeni moved to San Diego and she was like, "go get a myspace page so we can keep in touch."

Gah. So, I caved and I've been addicted ever since. :-/ I just started doing the blog part there, so we'll see where it goes. It's a much less formal place, so I like it so far.

Also.. here's a few random pics just because.

Hope everyone has a great weekend, I'm stuck at work on Monday, but I'm off Tuesday. Snav is working on five questions for me, and anyone else that wants to ask me questions, please feel free, I'm game to talk about anything. :)

Also, come play with me at myspace. I promise it's not that bad. LOL.

HNT: Half drunk is still drunk.

2006-06-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

Here I am being wonderfully drunk on red wine

after a party full of dildos, belly dancing, and crazy felines.

Good times.. good times..

Psst.. for a good time, click here.

And sometimes life just makes sense and you're happy about it

2006-06-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

New parties, old times So I've been getting in contact with more than a few friends from high school. It's great to see everyone and hear from them again. Some are married, others have kids and houses and new job in new cities. I know I'm not nearly as grown up as any of them, but I sure do feel happy that I've gotten in touch with them at this time. We are having a wine-tasting party next month where we will officially "see" everyone, instead of just in pictures on the net. I don't have a date to take yet, but maybe I will when the event comes around.

We go back like babies and pacifiers Also, I've been hanging out more with my best good friend from high school. Her and I have known each other for about 18 years, and we've had a kinda off and on friendship after high school. This time though, I can tell it's gonna stick. We are most comfortable with ourselves and each of our positions in life. We're no longer judgemental or presumtuous about our different lives. And she has a great new boyfriend that I'm super excited about because she finally found someone that is smarter than her and that makes her happy all the time, not just some of the time. And since I've been hanging out with her, she's introduced me to a group of really great people, and I'm excited to be a part of her life again. It's been about three years since we've been friends, and I'm just thrilled to be hanging out with her again. It feels like old times, but it feels like new times too. Like we're making new memories and new adventures together.

It's over, and I like it So, yeah, Brandon and I aren't all like omg-I-totally-wanna-be-with-you-and-make-out-with-you-and-marry-you-and-move-to-sweeden-and-have-7-pet-rats or anything like that anymore. Well, I'm not sure HE ever was like that, but I sure was. Was being the operative word here. We have both moved to a great new place called best good friends. I couldn't be happier, really. I'm so glad everyday that I have someone like that in my life to talk to and to share my life happenings with and to tell my silly stories too. I think he's such a wonderful listener and a more than patient person. And we still love each other, but it's a new, happy, friendship, its-so-great-to-see-you love. It's the most refreshing part of my day when I come to work and log on and he's there. And he listens to me bitch about my day or get excited about a raise or to listen to me gossip about my coworkers. He makes my life easy and I appreciate him mucho for that. :)

Things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY So yeah, yesterday I went with my friend Anna to a "passions party".. ya know, sex toys and the like. So anywho, there were about 13 bottles of wine there, and I think between Anna and myself, we had four. And might I add, this was the first time for me to drink red wine. And by the way, my favorite two are Pinot Noir and Bourdeaux [or however you spell it]. But holy shit, was it a bad idea to drink nearly two bottles of wine on a Monday night. I had the hangover from hell this morning, and every time I mentioned it to someone, they all had the same response, "Oh, yeah.. red wine is the worst. It gives you the nastiest hangovers."

Things that make you go.. WTF?!

2006-06-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

Sooo.. I spent most of the weekend hanging out with the guy I knew in high school. Turns out we have excellent chemistry [thanks Snav for calling me in the middle of our excellent chemistry, by the way ;)]. Also turns out that he juuuust got out of a 4 yr long relationship and by "just got out", I mean, the bitch still has her shit there. But no worries, she's moving it all out this weekend. And he's super glad cause he's "ready to just move on with his life and get her shit gone so that [he] can leave that in the past already". Even though four years is a long time, and you should never be the rebound girl, I'm kinda still excited about seeing him cause the way I figure, people are always "just getting out of relationships" .. otherwise, everyone would be single, right? Think about it... if you're not getting IN a relationship, you're getting OUT of a relationship.. and in order to get IN a relationship, you have to eventually get OUT of one. Ha. So that's my rationality, and I'm gonna stick by it dammit cause well.. I can, and I think he's a pretty darn great guy. And also, cause he initiated the whole "let's talk about my past relationship situation" convo, so it shows that he has nothing to hide and that he wants to be honest with me from the get go. And that's all I can ask from him at this point.

Also... I'm copying Snav again, cause she has the very best blog ideas EVER.

6 wierd things:

I'm totally outgoing and incredibly shy AT THE SAME TIME. I'll never ever ever ask a guy out, but I would probably grab his butt on a dare.

I think I'm waaaay skinnier than I am. I really should get a full length mirror.

I only own one pair of tennis shoes.

I can't talk to someone and type at the same time. BUT, I can chat, type an email, answer the phones, and google the spelling of the word "stutter" at the same time.

I don't like artificial fragrances in my house. Air fresheners, incense, candles.. bleh.

Powder makes me sneeze, so I have to apply my powder and THEN apply my mascara.. or else the mascara goes EVERYWHERE and I look like a clown.

The trip, the boy, and the hare.

2006-06-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

The trip I took a road trip of sorts with a couple of friends of mine. My good friend and coworker Jeni moved to San Diego, and since she had to take her car there somehow, we all agreed to make the road trip with her and fly back to Houston. The road trip was two days of 13 hour trips, but we finally made it there in one piece and without killing each other! We actually had a lot of fun. OH, and by the way, it's fucking hot in the desert. We made one stop in Arizona and asked how hot it was outside, and the gas attendant answered, "Oh, it's about 119 degrees or so.. " WTF. I almost fucking melted. The first thirteen hours of the trip was just getting out of Texas. And let me tell you, there is NOTHING between Houston and New Mexico worth seeing. And El Paso is a dirty dirty city right on the border of Texas and New Mexico and once you cross into NM, it's like a completely different world. We slept in a Hilton in Las Cruces, New Mexico. It was the most beautiful city we saw on the trip. It's like an upscale little town in the middle of the farkin desert, with moutains all around it. All the buildings were new and the houses were beautiful. The view from our hotel room was breath taking. Once we got into San Diego, the weather couldn't be more perfect. It's always warm and sunny, with a constant cool breeze that never lets it get hotter than 72 degrees.

The boy I recently got in touch with a guy I knew in high school. When we were younger, we went to church camp together and held hands by the lake. We never really hung out together at school and I can't remember any real conversations that I ever had with him, but I saw him a couple of times during college [he went to a university in the next town over]. We've always been kinda attracted to each other, but never really said anything about it. Like I said, last week we started emailing each other, and then on Wednesday he called me and we talked for a little while. We agreed to meet up on Thursday and after dinner and drinks, we came back to my house to hang out a little more. Well, we put a movie in, but I only remember watching half of it. But before we did anything too foolish, we said goodnight and he headed home. During my trip, he called me everyday, and tonight we're going out again! I'm so incredibly happy, and I've put Secret Lover Boy on the back burner for now. So this new guy is my age, he's about to graduate college with a degree in Construction Management. He's so sweet and soft spoken. I can't wait to see him tonight! Yay.

The hare Three girls, a rabbit, and a frog were driving to California.. Sounds like the beginning of a joke right? Wrong! That's exactly what our road trip consisted of. Jeni, Emma, and I drove half across the country with a bunny and a frog in the back seat. Jeni's pets were moving with her to San Diego! But the most interesting animals on the trip were the ones at the San Diego zoo! If you've never been, you are definitely missing out! The lush surroundings and elaborate exhibits made the Houston Zoo look like utter shit. We saw hippos, and pandas, and elephants.. oh my! The zoo was huuuuge and absolutely beautiful! There were even animals running free around the park. [Mainly birds.. no alligators or anything like that :P]

I took a couple of crappy pics with my camera phone, but I'm waiting for the good digi-pics from my friend Emma. As soon as she sends them my way, I'll share with the class.

But for now, I'm just going to leave you will a big sloppy hippo kiss. Mwuah!

2006-06-19T13:24:00.000-07:00

2006-06-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

She showed. She telled.

2006-06-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

OMG.

Well, she did it again.

She made me utterly and completely speechless.

While we live in the same small town of Houston, we have, surprisingly, never met. Yet, I feel she knows me better than any other imaginary blog friend out there.

And, really, who else would suck on eggs for you in the name of art?

She's sexy, she's talented, and [now I'm certain] a good sucker. Madmeer showed off her crafty skillz and made Spinning Girl and myself into fashionable egg people.

Oh god, just look how my hair makes my head look huuuuge.

Click on the picture to read all about it. Or, just click here.

Honestly, after reading the word honestly forty billion times in a row, I want to honestly yank my fucking brain out. Honestly.

2006-06-11T02:06:00.000-07:00

1. Honestly, what color is your underwear? Bright blue.

2. Honestly, whats on your mind right now? Honestly, I just finished reading this post off someone else's website and honestly, I thought it was a good idea. But after reading the word honestly twenty-one fucking times in a row, I'm dreading reading it twenty-one fucking more times in a row. I honestly want this to end, even before it began.

3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? Typing this fucking post. Was that not abundantly clear?

4. Honestly, what did you do today? I went to work, ate lunch at Taco Bell, and am now about to head home for some much needed relaxation.

5. Honestly, do you think you are attractive? Honestly? I don't know. Some days, I feel incredible. When my curls are just right, and my favorite jeans are giving me that slightly curvy look, I feel invincible. Some days, I feel like a bloated cow, and I just want to curl up in bed in my pj's. And I could spend all day listing things I don't like about my features, but that would be a bore. I think I'll just stick to making you guys laugh. Humor is my defense mechinism.

6. Honestly, have you done something bad today? No, but the day's not over yet.

7. Honestly, do you watch disney channel? Sure, sometimes. I don't have cable at my apartment, but when I go to my parents' house, I will surf the channels to see if I've missed any delightfully annoying reality shows. Along the way, though, I stop on the Disney Channel to take a peek. Last weekend, I watched The Fox and The Hound.

8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Not even a little. I have an awesome job where I get to surf the internet all day. I also never see my boss, and when I do, she's amazingly nice to me. I have a small group of great friends, not to mention all my invisible internet friends. My best friend, while a few states away, makes me laugh every single day, and I'm so thankful for that. I may not be living in a situation that most would like, but I think I'm living a pretty terrific life right now.

9. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? Laughing. I often tell jokes about myself to entertain others. I also tell jokes while quoting movies or songs. I do impressions of people at work, and I even do voices. I have the greatest time when I'm laughing with people.

10. Honestly, do you bite your nails? Hell no. I don't have any bad habits. If you don't count dating jerks.

11. Honestly, what is your mood right now? It is now Saturday night [I started this survey Friday at work], and I'm under the influence of all sorts of fun things, so I'm feeling rather delightful right now.

12. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? Unfortunately, no.

13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute? Yes. Yes, I've wanted to see him for many many minutes.

14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? Doesn't everyone? You can't tell me you don't have secrets so deep and dark that you wouldn't tell not a single soul in this world. I have five, at least.

15. Honestly, do you hate someone right now? Not really. If I think really hard, I can recall some bads things that people have done to me in the not so distant past, but that's human nature. I believe people find it easier to be evil than good.

16. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now? Who? Brandon. What? His body.

17. Honestly, are you loyal? Yes. I have the self-destructive habit of being a very forgiving person. And I believe the willingness to forgive is one trait of loyalty. Often, I will offer to do favors over and over again to those who really shouldn't deserve it. And if people ask me for my help, I'll never decline.

18. Honestly, are you in denial? I need to buy a full length mirror because I might be in denial about how I really look to other people. Particularly boys.

19. Honestly, do you like someone? And by "like", you mean "want to fuck"... yes.

20. Honestly, does someone like you right now? I sure fucking hope so.

21. Honestly, do you smoke weed? Wait.. you can see me?

Yesssssssssssssssss!

2006-06-07T07:06:00.000-07:00

A group of friends and I are going

to see Carlos Mencia in September.

We just got our tickets in the mail yesterday!

How frickin excited am I?!

HNT: I <3 U

2006-06-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Put a little love into your life--er, pants. Play HNT with us.

It TOOK: me a long ass time to finish this post.

2006-05-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

I AM the sum of all my parts. Take it or leave it. You can't have the good without the bad. I'm clingy, selfish, independent, loyal, moody, positive, self-conscious, proud, generous, thrifty, snobby, and laid back.

I WANT to live a full life. To me, this means being remembered for something important, making a difference in someone's life, and being loved by someone special.

I WISH I didn't have a visible birthmark. It is my kryptonite. I feel it has hindered me in life. I think it's the reason I'm still single. It didn't bother me when I was younger, in fact I hardly ever noticed it. But the older I get, the more self-aware I become.

I HATE sweating. I think it's gross.

I MISS being fearless. Snavy said this, and I think it really hits home for me. I miss saying what's on my mind. I miss walking around with with a thousand times more self-esteem than I do now. I miss caring too deeply and talking too loudly. Oh wait.. I still do those things.

I FEAR marriage. I have a deep seeded fear of commitment. I think it honestly runs in the family. I have a 40 yr old uncle who's been married and divorced 3 times. I have an uncle who's divorced after 20something years of marriage. I have three cousins who are my age who have already been married and divorced. I'm kidding of course about it running in the family. But think about it, there's a 50% chance of failure. And I'm not the gambling type.

I HEAR there's gonna be a Wolverine prequel. Can't wait for that. Hugh Jackman is hawt.

I WONDER if I'll ever make it to Tennessee. I hear some pretty great people live there. Unfortunately for me, they live there with their girlfriends.

I REGRET nothing. It leads to a game of what-if's. And homey don't play that.

I AM NOT that innocent. Ha! Got that song stuck in yer head now, huh?

I DANCE in my living room, in front of my tv, to my Nsync vhs of their 2000 world tour in New York's Madison Square Garden. Don't laugh. You did the same with New Kids on the Block. Come'on. Who was your favorite? Donny?

I SING everyday on my way to work. Or anytime I'm in the car, for that matter.

I CRY when I'm in a situation that I can't control. I also cry after watching scary movies, or any movies dealing with death. Death is something of which I'm terribly afraid. It's the ultimate in uncontrollable situations. And don't you dare say that I'm afraid of death because I don't believe in God or the afterlife. Believing in God doesn't make death any less uncontrollable.

I AM NOT ALWAYS truthful. It's so much easier to lie, dontcha think? Seriously, though, I have a bad habit of lying. It's the first thing I think of when someone asks me a question: Lie first, explain later.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS money, for to buy things with.

I WRITE poems occasionally. I don't do it often, because I have a stoopid knack for writing them in silly song style ala Dr. Suess.

I CONFUSE Iowa with Idaho. I took a glance at a map this weekend and was surprised to learn that Idaho was waaay West.

I NEED more money. Mo' money, mo' problems? I like my saying better: mo' money, mo' things.

I SHOULD start my own business. Maybe when I'm more settled. For now, I'll just concentrate on getting a new car. Yes, Fuckus is only a year old. But I live for new cars. New cars are my toys. I get one every year or so.

I START posts and then forget about them.

I FINISH them eventually.

Kemah: In Pictures

2006-05-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

On May 29, 2006, my little sister and I set out to visit Kemah.

I used to live in Clear Lake. For reference, you have to

pass thru Clear Lake on your way to Kemah.

Clear Lake is home of N.A.S.A.

Kemah is on Galveston Bay.

Clear Lake is only 15 miles north of Galveston.

I miss Clear Lake.

It's not an unusual thing for me to go to Kemah. Some of you guys have even seen pictures of me in Kemah before. This is just my way of letting you into my daily life.

I was driving.

My sister was goofing off.

Riding thru Clear Lake, I found that the rumors are true:

there's always construction in Houston.

You can tell you're getting near water

when you start seeing palm trees.

You can tell your getting close to N.A.S.A

when you see a space-man themed McDonalds.

(I didn't realize that 'themed' McDonalds was such a big deal. I mean, I had driven by this particular location hundreds of times before. But then I started thinking to myself, Self, think about it, how many 'themed' McDonalds do you know of? Just this one? There must be others, but how many people have seen a N.A.S.A.-themed one? I think you should post it.)

Look! It's N.A.S.A.!

Yes, Krazy K... that's called the o-c-e-a-n.

Ah.. the wind blowing in your face, the salty sea air..

Ahoy, mateys! Something tells me Krazy K has spotted Kemah!

(For some reason, these pelicans are a landmark staple in Kemah. Everywhere you look, there are different ones on people's boat docks, in front of businesses, on street corners. I actually risked my life for this picture. Krazy K wanted a picture of one, so I pulled over on the side of the freeway and shot this pic. The freeway, by the way, is riiiiight behind me. And of course I had to take it one step further, and make her pose with the pelican.)

Once we arrived in Kemah, we visited a few local shops.

I like how they translated it for you in case you happen to be a pirate.

I'm Mexican, so I've seen a lot of beans in my life.

But this was my first encounter with lucky sea beans.

Between stores, we stopped for a couple of kodak moments.

(Me as a Mermaid.)

(Me as Popeye.)

(Me as The Green Fairy.)

As we left Kemah, we admired the boats and sea and the clear blue sky.

Sorry about the lack of posting/blogging lately. Blogger, as many of you will attest to, has been a royal pain in the ass lately. I couldn't post or even comment for the past week. I will begin my regularly scheduled blogging on Monday. Have a great weekend everyone!

Heard Around Town: Little Sister Edition

2006-05-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

Krazy K strikes again..

[context: I was explaining to my mom and my little sister how the CEO knew the famous founder of Wendy's, the national burger chain.]

DaMasta: "Our CEO's kids grew up playing with Dave Thomas' kids!"

Krazy K: "Wow!! Matchbox 20?!"

DaMasta: "Dave Thomas, not Rob Thomas..."

Krazy K: "Oh."

-----------------------------------

[context: Krazy K is describing her new car, the 2007 Toyota Corolla, to me as we're walking around on the Kemah Boardwalk. Just then, a new black Corolla passes us on the street. Krazy K envies the sleek sophistication of the color black.]

Krazy K: "Dang! I knew it looked better in black!"

"So... gangsta."

------------------------------------

[context: I'm expressing my fear of walking around those big wooden poles that hold up power lines. According to public service announcements, power lines are dangerous. Krazy K, however, begs to differ.]

DaMasta: "Gah! I hate walking around those damn poles that hold up power lines."

Krazy K: "Why? It's not like we're in a .. thunderstorm.. or anything.."

DaMasta: "Power lines can kill you in daylight, too, ya know.."

Krazy K: "Uh.. don't they have medication for that?"

DaMasta: "For DEATH?!?!"

Krazy K: "Noo... for phobias."

DaMasta: "IT'S NOT A PHOBIA TO BE AFRAID OF POWER LINES! I'M TELLING YOU.. IF THE GOVERNMENT SAYS POWER LINES CAN KILL YOU, I'M SURE THEY CAN!"

...and stay out!

2006-05-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

So there's a guy that I've mentioned before on my blog that I refer to as Happy Hour Dood. I met him little over a month ago, and we talk on the phone several times a week. He texts me good morning on my way to work, and texts me after work to meet him for dinner and drinks. We're not dating exclusively or anything like that. And we've never even so much as kissed.

He has a five year old boy. Which, at first, I didn't think anything of. My mentality about dating guys with kids is that maybe since they have kids already, they might not want anymore later in life. But what I didn't plan on is all the emotional baggage that comes with dating a single parent. Sure, he shares custody with the ex-wife, but I figured on the weekends he doesn't have the kid, we'd go out and have fun together. And even when he did have the kid, I thought we'd go see Ice Age or some other kiddy movie or such.

But damn, when he ignores me weekend after weekend because he's spending alone time with his kid, it makes me wonder. So, I text him, "why don't you call me on the weekends? you got better things to do?" [I can be direct, we aren't dating exclusively. Plus, with no physical ties, I can afford to question him in an accusing manner, without any caution of his feelings or mine.]

He replied to me, "My son is only 5. We've been hurt once, and I don't want it to happen again."

I sent him one more text, "That's great. You can avoid getting hurt by continuing to avoid me."

I know that was a little harsh, but I know myself by now. I know I'm too selfish to be second place. And I'm not a patient person. And I can't afford to put my feelings on the line for someone who's afraid to feel. I'm past that point in my life. I love deeply. A little too quickly sometimes, yes. But I'm not going to hold back because some dumbass in my past hurt my feelings.

I'm not sorry for sending that message. And I'm sorry for the way it probably will turn out between us. If he didn't want to 'feel', then I guess it wasn't a real connection to begin with.

Photo Attached

2006-05-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

You make me feel like an un-natural woman Lol.. I just got my hair cut today. No, not one of them, all of them silly! I don't like to grow my hair out long [sorry boyz!], so I got it cut just at shoulder length. You can't really tell from this photo because they also straightened it. I know it's not a big deal to most people, but this is the only time my hair is ever straight. I don't have the patience to straighten my own hair, so I usually just have it done after a cut. Thus explaining my facination with my own avatar! And while it's straight, you can't judge the shortness of my hair, cause once I wash and style it curly again, the curls will shrink up another 2 to 3 inches! Yikes! So, 96% of the year, my hair is naturally curly, and only 4% of the year my hair is un-naturally straight.

Long weekend Today I'm not at work. Which is officially my first vacation day since I started this job in July of last year. Which also reminds me that my blog is almost a year old [I started it Aug of last year, a month after starting my job]. Most of my readers don't work in an office, but you corporate slaves out there like me can appreciate the long weekend! I'll be running errands today [exciting, no? but dammit, while everything is open during the week, I'm slaving away at work...] , but on Sunday I'll be headed to Kemah, Tx. It's a small little city on Galveston Bay where there's plenty of food, touristy shopping, ferris wheels, and alcoholic fun! If I take any pics [which is highly likely] I'll share with the class on Monday.

Time flies when you're getting old Congrats to my little sis as she graduates highschool and officially becomes an adul--- wait! what?! Holy hell! I didn't realize I was so old! My ''little'' sister graduated high school on Thursday, while I almost had a heart attack! We're about ten years apart, and I can't beleive how old I feel! Holy crap! Most people think I look about 21-23 [hell, I still get carded for cigarettes], but I'm actually 26, 27 this year. And when did my sister grow up?! Someone please tell me that she's still 12 years old! Hurry, before I start going thru my mid-life crisis!

Plz send msg again Ever try to argue over text messaging? LOL.. it's a bitch!! Somewhere between having a cramp in your thumb and three different messaging threads going, the other person's messages start getting chopped. And then, you have to stop arguing long enough to send a text message to that person saying, "Please send message again, it got chopped." Gee.. talk about putting a damper on an argument. "Now where was I.. oh yeah... YOU SUCK BECAUSE.. "

HNT: True Life: I'm not straight.

2006-05-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

For years, I loathed my curly hair.

No one else in my family had curly hair.

Still to this day, my family jokes that I'm the mailman's kid.

But when my hair is acting right,

and the curls are curling juuust so..

I like my hair very very much.

I can go from playful..

to sexy..

to serious..

with just one look.

These days, I'm more comfortable with my hair.

Most times I wear it back, during work.

But you can see what happens on the weekend..

when I'm bored..

and there's a camera lying around.

------------------------

Go give his blog a second look: Creator of HNT.

Tag My Ass Tuesday

2006-05-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

It's aboot that time again. It's Tag My Own Ass Tuesday. I got this survey/quiz/whatever the fark from Snav, who got it from Logo, and so on and so forth and so forth and so on.

Without further adieu..

1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

My dream encyclopedia, "Only you can decipher meaning within the myriad of images and emotions that come to you in your sleep.."

2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch.

My purse. It's a berry colored Guess handbag.

3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The Gray's Anatomy finale that I dvr'd at my cousin's house. And let me tell you, it was - by far - the best fucking series finale e.v.e.r! I bawled my eyes out for a good fifteen minutes.

4) Without looking, guess what time it is.

4:38pm

5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

4:42pm. I knew it was close to 4:30. Brandon [bsoholic] just left work.

6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

People mumbling in the halls, getting ready to leave work.

7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

At noon, I went to lunch. It was bright, sunny, hot and humid. Welcome to summer in Houston.

8) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Snavy's survey

9) What are you wearing?

Grey work pants, a black peasant shirt with white trim, and heels [of course].

10) Did you dream last night?

I didn't have any dreams. I tend not to when someone else is in my bed.

11) When did you last laugh?

A couple of minutes ago, before Brandon left work. We were talking about our imaginary rock band named French Alien Sex. We are planning to tour Amsterdam and live off Hot Pockets. I'll be the topless drummer, and he'll be on the guitar. Lmao... don't ask.

12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Plasma screen tv's and our company logo in huge metal letters.

13) Seen anything weird lately?

Other than ya'lls blogs?...lol.. no.

14) What do you think of this quiz?

It's ok, I guess. I wouldn't take it out on a second date or anything.

15) What is the last film you saw?

I watched "Bend it Like Beckham" Friday night, after which I couldn't stop talking with a British accent.

16) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Amsterdam. For a certain someone. ;)

17) Tell us something about you that we don't know.

I have a visible birthmark. [Hurry.. go thru my archives and see if you can find it in any of my pics.. ]

18) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

I would reduce the amount of welfare given out.

19) Do you like to dance?

I absolutely LOOOOOVE to dance!! I'll dance anywhere! With anyone! Have you ever seen a Mexican chick do the robot??

20) George Bush

What about him? He's from Texas.

21) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Mini-me.

22) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Thomas Edward

23) Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yes. I would consider living in England, Spain, or Italy.

24) What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

"That wasn't funny."

The bare minimum is a bore.

2006-05-20T16:54:00.000-07:00

WARNING!! It's not like I have to put a warning on my own blog, but I'll do it anyways out of courtesy. This past weekend, I was coming off of pain killerz and I had ample time to reflect on the upcoming events in my life that I'm not particularly happy about. The last two posts here, including this one, reflect that.

My little sister graduates high school on Thursday morning.

I can't go. I'm already taking Friday off as a vacation day for myself. My boss came up to me and actually said, "Well [DaMasta], I don't know what we're going to do without you on Friday." Honestly, I don't know what she's going to do either, but I'm going to be sleeping in.

After I phoned my mom and told her I was unable to make the morning graduation ceremony, she even responded, "Eh. I mean really.. who wants to take off a morning just to see a graduation ceremony?"

That's true. Why the hell are we still having graduation ceremonies for high schools? At this day in age, we should be driving flying cars and commuting to work telepatheically and we should each have a robot slave at home cooking and cleaning for us. You know, just like the future movies from just twenty years ago where everyone's wearing silver jumpsuits and buying things with their thumb prints instead of credit cards.

Ok, so maybe the advancement in human kind has hit a plateau of sorts. But, if we're still celebrating the graduation of high school, what does this say about the educational advancement of society? I know my last post was about my failures in college, but isn't that why my parents had a second child? To do better? To not make the same mistakes? Or to correct the ones they made with me?

And it's not like we're a dumb family. Sure, my mother only has a high school education and my dad quit school mere months before his own high school graduation, but I think that reflects more on that decade and their individual circumstances. My dad now works at one of the largest engineering firms in the country, and my mother has succeeded for several decades as an industrial salesperson.

So, I don't understand the celebration of high school graduates. What are we trying to convey to them? That's it's a big accomplishment for them to finish the state mandated number of years a child should be educated? It's required. By the state. To graduate high school or get an equivalent GED [but the only ones who really get GEDs nowadays are crack head drop outs or girls who get pregnant their senior year.] I think it's utterly rediculous to congratulate someone on a job-the-state-requires-to-get-done. I think these days, teenagers are living too much like they're in college. Experimenting with drugs, tattoos, piercings, boyfriends/girlfriends, parties, sports.. It's getting a bit out of hand. My sister was in sports. She's not a natural [don't worry, I'm not being mean, it just doesn't run in the family]. My point is, she isn't in it for a scholarship, so why bother with it? And don't tell me that team sports help teens with grades and social skills and blah blah blah. Nope. She doesn't play a 'team' sport. And her grades haven't gone up. And her social skills?.. well, she IS my mother's child, afterall. Since she's been in high school, I've had to read about [from her blog] her losing her virginity, how she likes my parents only when they buy her things, about her getting an ear piercing that my mother paid for, and about how she plans on talking my mom into buying her a new laptop [no doubt so she can continue to berate my mother in her blog using the very computer my mother would have purchased her].

Teenagers should be worried about grades, credentials, community service, and how they are going to use all those to get into a good college and being successful in life. They can socialize in college. I hear study groups are fun.

My mother confirmed that my sister is getting a brand new car and a brand new laptop for her high school graduation gifts.

Why must we always reward the bare minimum?

The Most Terrible Awful No Good Very Bad Dream

2006-05-19T22:36:00.000-07:00

The worst dream I can possibly imagine and most vividly remember is one where I'm going back to college [most times against my will].

I'm getting ready for class: I have my books, my supplies, my bag. My shoes are on, my hair looks great, I'm ready to go. One more glance in the mirror reveals a horrible sensation. I realize that I'm going to class and not to work. I frantically search for someone around me to explain to me what's going on. I had a job, I reason, an apartment, a car.. what happened? I was living on my own.. I was happy.. why was I back home? Holy shit.. why is all my stuff in boxes? Where's my apartment? This must be a mistake. I need to call my boss.. there's got to be a way they can hire me back. Take all these boxes back, take them back to my apartment..

I remember hating college. On a very deep level. Deep in my soul I hated it.

I wasn't a good test taker. I didn't read any college texts until my 3rd year. I relied mainly on my memory of the lectures, and on my keen ability to take good notes. That got me as far as my sophomore year. I had a solid GPA up until then. I always did have good marks in school. It wasn't academically challenging. Or was it? After my 2nd year, was is so challenging that it made me nervous? Anxious? I would desperately fear failure. I would choke on major exams, and worry about them all night and not study. I remember being overcome with grief and I withdrew myself into a small coed dorm room the size of a jail cell. I would avoid class in order to avoid responsibility. Avoiding responsibility made me lose focus and let class days drift away. I missed tests. I showed up for finals, only able to regurgitate hazy segments of classes attended. In truth, I missed home terribly. I was absent when family members were lost, and I had fallen ill during the last semester of college. After coming back to Houston for my final surgery, I decided that I didn't want to attend college any longer, and the decision to leave my then live-in boyfriend made everything final.

I left the University of Texas in Austin in 2001, and took an internship in Houston. I haven't stopped working since. I've gone back to school a couple of times, and failed due to anxiety. I don't tell people about my lack of desire to continue my education. I think they percieve it as a weakness. An outrage, even. I usually just tell them 'someday'. When I really mean 'never'.

And I haven't been back to Austin since.

Sick Daze

2006-05-19T05:26:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. Seems I've been gone for-ev-ah.

I've actually been out sick for the past two days with a nasty stomach virus. Barfing, diarrhea, fever, the works. [Sorry, did I ruin your breakfast? Well, now you know how I felt.] I'm not sure how I got it or even what happened [kinda hit me like a freight train], but I think it was going around. Benefits Chick's friend had the sickness the night we went to the Improv, and then Benefits Chick got it herself on Monday, and then BAM, it hit me on Wednesday morning.

I went to the doc and [this is why I hate docs] of course they did nothing except tell me what I already knew [I had a stomach virus]. This got me thinking.. I didn't have health insurance for two years and I never needed it once, and ever since I've had it for these past couple of months, I've used it waaay too many times.

Last time I went to the doc, it was after the March of Dimes walk, when I hurt my foot. They took x-rays, but of course nothing was wrong and it healed itself two days later.

Wednesday, when I went to the doc, they perscribed some mighty fine pain killers - which, when paired with Tylenol PM worked hella good wonders.

Being nocturnal and all, Chibby joined me in some much needed afternoon naps.

I'm all better now, but how can I be so sure? Oh, just check out the fabulous shoes I'm wearing today:

E for Easy Lover

2006-05-14T00:39:00.000-07:00

So, I asked Snav to tag my ass, and this is what she came up with:

Comment on this entry and ask and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your blog, including an explanation of what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along.

My letter [for obvious reasons] is E. Here are my words:

Eclectic: As in, my taste in music, my taste in men, my driving habits, my moods, my bank account balance, my dance moves, my relationship with my mother, the way my curls lay on my head, and my underwear collection.

Enthusiastic: This is the mood expected of me everyday from 7:30am to 5:15. I work as a front lobby receptionist in the happiest fucking corporate office in Houston. I swear there's crack in the water. Every single one of the employees is bright, chipper, and high on life. It's exhausting, but let me tell you, it's better than working for grumpy assholes.

Everysinglefuckingday: Moreover, my boss walks in everyday with the same greeting: "Happy Monday!", "Happy Tuesday!", "Happy Wednesday!", "Happy Thursday!", "Happy Friday!".

Excel: My father is a perfectionist, my mother is a relentless bitch. Therefore, I've always excelled at tasks, particularly academics. In elementary school, I was in the SOAR program. In middle school, I was Gifted and Talented. In high school, I was in the Math Club [where I won a medal for some stoopid timed math test], Science Club [which I joined because the love-of-my-high-school-life was in the same club and also because I wanted to go to the Zoo during school hours], Business Professionals of America organization [where I won district in some fucking contest where I had to prioritize business tasks and complete them using either MS Word, Excel or Powerpoint]; I also graduated top 10% of my class with a 4.64 GPA. Surprisingly, I never got my ass kicked.

Erotica: People I know read this blog, so I'll just say: Just because I'm single, doesn't mean I don't get laid. I have a very healthy sex-life. Always have.

Ethniticity: I rarely talk about my heritage, because honestly, I don't know that much about it. My parents grew up in a time when speaking fluent Spanish was a disadvantage when it came to learning in school. Consequently, the only culture and language I know came from 9 years of Spanish classes. I can speak, read, and write Spanish. Ironic how native Spanish speakers are getting better jobs than I am. But for business purposes, I can pass for bi-lingual. I can sell anything in Spanish.

Erica: My name. People always spell it incorrectly. It means, "ever powerful."

Ears: My nervous habit is pulling on the lobes of my ears. It drives my mother absolutely crazy when I do it, but the only time I do it is when I'm around her. If we're in public and I start doing it, she will, without hesitation, slap my hand away from my ear.

Elope: If I ever do get married, this is how it's all going down: We'd fly to Vegas and get married at one of those drive-thru marriage joints. Then, we'd gamble away any money that we saved up for a traditional wedding. Later, back home, we'd throw a big party, where all our relatives and friends could shower us with gifts and best wishes.

Elephants: I went to the zoo one day with a friend when I was younger. We stopped by the elephant exhibit where a huge male was on display. I noticed something strange, so I pointed to the elephant and curiously asked, "Why does that elephant have 5 legs?" My friend replied, "Because that 5th leg is not a leg at all. It's his penis."

If you'd like to play along, just ask for a letter in my comments.

If money was no object..

2006-05-11T14:59:00.000-07:00

I just found out how much I make a year.

I mean.. I know how much I make per HOUR, but I never really wanted to do the calculation.

Too depressing, I thought.

But really?

Meh.

Could be worse.

HNT: Sometimes you just need a little Chibby..

2006-05-11T07:24:00.000-07:00

This is my rat Chibby Chibberson.

As a single gal in Houston, sometimes you just have to chill out

and remember the good things in life.

However small and furry they may be.

In the words of Madmeer,

Chibby doesn't care how big my boobs are

or how small my waist is,

and she always thinks I'm beautiful in the morning,

eye boogers and all.

In addition, she always thinks my outfits are fabulous,

and she never complains about my cooking.

She's always devinely groomed,

and sometimes licks me clean as well.

She'll never ask to change the channel,

and she'll never be a pillow-hog.

My breath can never be too stinky,

and she only falls asleep next to me.

In a world so crazy and hectic,

sometimes you just need a little Chibby.

See my hook-up: Osbasso is da man with da master plan.

Next Stop? Crazytown. Population: Me.

2006-05-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say today. [Well, maybe I do, we'll see how this post ends up].

I've been working my tail off at work [and by "working my tail off", I mean sometimes it gets busy at work and I have no time to blog or sometimes I'm waay too busy chatting with people online that I forget to blog or sometimes I get sleepy after lunch and just sit in a carb-induced daze for the last 4 hours of work and forget to blog]. Very soon though, I will start training in the Travel Dept and I'm guessing I will have actual job duties to perform, whereupon I will be forced to do actual work and my blogging will suffer greatly. Until then, I guess I should blog as much as I can.

I am still unlucky in love. I met this guy from an online dating site, and he turned out to be soo straight-laced I couldn't stand it. He was anti-drugs, anti-drinking, anti-smoking, the works. And since I'm pro-everything he wasn't, the connection didn't last long.

And now, there's Happy Hour dood. I met him at [duh] happy hour a few weeks ago at this local cajun joint near my house. He's pretty awesome. He makes me laugh, is very laid back, easy going, cute bod, fun-loving, that sort of thing. We talk nearly everyday, and we've been out three or four times now. Last night at dinner, however, he lays a big ass bomb on me by telling me that he's thinking about going to Iraq for a year so he can save up money for a house. In Austin. Either that, or just move to Austin altogether. And he's making this decision by the end of August. So, ya know, whatever.. I meet a decent guy, someone I can actually see myself dating exclusively, and he decides to up and move to a different city. Geez, was it my breath?

Last night, I had an hour and a half long conversation with my ex [and by "conversation", I mean it was mainly me venting and telling him off and him sputtering out the most offensive and vile responses that, in turn, made me want to reach thru the phone and rip his head off]. For some reason he thinks that if we get back together, he can be a better friend to me. Get this - he readily admits that he's not a good friend to me, but insists that it's just. because. we're not together. Yeah. Ok. What the fuck are YOU smokin, buddy? I told him, "Sure, I'm physically attracted to you, but sexual chemistry can only take you so far. I've been there, done that with you already. We tried to make it work in the past, and it didn't last. And now, nothing about being in a relationship with you sounds appealing if you can't even be a friend to me. The physical attraction thing worked when we were younger, but it's not going to satisfy me now. I want a *meaningful* relationship with a strong foundation of friendship."

At that moment, my phone ran out of battery, and we haven't spoken since.

Bsoholic and I still talk everyday during work. We've become great friends again, but sometimes, like today, I feel that we should be together. Maybe it's the weather, or maybe the Earth's gravational pull is tuggin on my heart strings a little more than usual. Either way, I'm grateful to have him as such a good listener and comforter and yes-man.

I mean, really, everyone needs a good yes-man.

Har Har Har..

2006-05-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

Historical Fact About May 5th

Hellmann's Mayonnaise - Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as "Sinko de Mayo".

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone! Excuse me while I leave work to drink myself into a stupor.

Read more mexi-jokes by clicking.................here.

HNT: March of Dimes [aka This Post Sucks]

2006-05-04T13:46:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday, my company had their annual March of Dimes event. If you remember, this was also my debut attempt to throw together a successful 'special event'. For the past two months or so, I've made countless numbers of Power Point presentations; I've stuffed Easter Eggs [which we sold as raffle tickets for kick ass prizes to raise money for M.O.D.]; I assembled and wrapped 56 Easter baskets [which we auctioned off to rasie money for M.O.D.]; I attended meetings upon meetings to organize the food menu and the rental tents, chairs, and tablecloths; I picked out the color of the t-shirts; I dropped off 298 t-shirts to the printing company and approved all charges and changes; I made instructions on how to get to the walk site and how to register and collect money online.......

After all this and more, I have to say that the walk was a great success!

We rasied in excess of $21,000! Which was a 33% increase from last year. Mission: completed! We had more than twice as many walkers registered, and more than three times as many people showed up for the actual event.

I wasn't actually prepared to walk the 5.5 miles around the Unversity of Houston campus, but it turned out that since our Captain showed up after all, I took the opportunity to walk it!

Before the race, a couple of co-workers and I visited a few booths around the walk site. And .. so.. um.. here I am posing with a piece of .. bread? LOL.. it was actually a campaign promoting bread! The sash the bread is wearing says "Bread is essential". I have them to thank for my tacobelly. My, how I look carbalicious in this photo..

[and yes, someone's big fat finger is in the middle of my wonderfee photo.. gee thanks.]

This is at the beginning of the walk. I was with a group of athletes, which should have set off a big warning in my head, but stoopidly, I kept up with them during the whole race. Notice how upbeat and playful I seem. This is Mile One. I'm doing the "L" loser sign with my finger on my forehead. We were displaying our wonderful sportsmanship with every team we passed on the way. LOL.. and it wasn't even a race! Boy, are we competitive!

[and yes, that is someone else's finger in my photo.. dammit, people, don't you know how to take a photo?!?]

During Mile Two, I must have stepped wrong, because I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my right foot. The pain was so bad that I contimplated lying down on the concrete and dying. But my pride wouldn't let me. I was walking with athletes, remember? So I jogged, walked, passed up other companies, and kept up with the group, just so I didn't lose face. Plus, if I would have stopped walking for just one minute, I wouldn't have been able to start up again at all!

This photo was taken at the end of Mile Five, with a few yards to go. See how my mood has drastically changed from "oh-boy-this-is-the-funest-thing-I-have-ever-done" to "get-out-of-my-farkin-way-before-I-literally-bite-yer-head-off-and-shove-it-where-the-sun-don't-shine"? The only thing sustaining me at this point was the ice cream sandwich in my right hand.

Hopefully tomorrow [when my camera phone charges back up], I'll be able to show you photos of my horrible injury. ;)

Happy HNT, everyone! For real HNT entries, visit Osbasso. He's got the good shit.

Who's that girl with the big 'ole booty?

2006-05-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

It's DaMasta! It's DaMasta!

Well, woulda look at that. It's Tag My Own Ass Tuesday! Thanks Spinning Girl!

Yayyayayayay!! I tagged my own ass!! Yayayyaaa... uh.. *ahem*.. let's just get started, shall we?

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Tons o cash in my pocket, drivin my Bently on Rodeo Drive, wind in my hair, and a Puertorican boy toy in the passenger seat.

What is your greatest fear?
Taco Bell going out of business. [But according to the movie Demolition Man, that'll never happen. Even more, Taco Bell will be the only remaining restaurant 20 years into the future. wOOt.]

What vehicles do you own?
Currently, I own a spoiled brat named Fuckus. He's a 2005 metallic light green Ford Focus SE 4 door sedan. My first car was a 1991 Ford Ranger, red with red interior [gag!] with an extended cab, complete with one [not two] fold down seat in the back. I've also owned a 1998 Chevy S-10, a 2000 Toyota Celica, a 2001 Harley Davidson Edition Ford F-150, a 2002 Chevy Blazer, and a 2004 Ford Escape.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Warming sex gel. That shit is expensive. [I prefer passion fruit flavor.]

What is your most unappealing habit?
I don't cook. And it's not only that I don't cook, it's that I don't keep food in my house. I don't have milk, eggs, bread, spices, frozen meat, rice, chicken, lunch meat, cheese, chips [or snacks of any kind], candy, goodies [not counting the 'goodies' in the bedroom], colas [or drinks of any kind], or alcohol [just so we're clear about not having anything to drink]. What I do have: mashed potatoes in a box and an emergency supply of mac and cheese.

What is your most treasured possession?
My mattress. I do more than sleep on there, ya know. It's big. It's expensive. And it's all mine. [And yes, even though I'm single, I do have a 'side' of the bed. It's the left side.]

Where would you like to live?
In a state of lust ever after.

What makes you depressed?
Failure.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My tacobelly. It plagues me how unsightly it is. And it's resistant to working-out. I think it's out to get me.

Who would play you in a movie of your life?
Claire Danes, cause she always has this space-out, retarded look on her face. And I think that best portrays how I am 87% of the time.

What is your favourite smell?
Boys with money. Or just boys. Or just money.

What is your favourite word?
Gina. [jigh-na]

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Relishing the moment when people realize that I was right and they were wrong. Oh, wait, I don't feel guilty when that happens. It makes me giggle.

What, or who, is the greatest love of your life?
What: Baseball games. Something about the ambiance of the stadium and the players and the seven dollar beer and the fake hot dogs... ahhhh.
Who: Bsoholic. We've been talking to each other every day non-stop for five months or so, and I haven't gotten tired of him onc--- twice.

What is your greatest regret?
I don't do regrets. They are a waste of my time and yours. Regrets lead to resentment leads to baggage. And no one wants to sit next to that person. Live for the good times and laugh everyday, even if it's at yourself.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
The winning lottery ticket.

What keeps you awake at night?
All the uncertainty that goes along with death. Will I stop thinking all together? Will I be like Sam in ghost and learn to move things and walk around? Will I be able to read people's minds? Will I ever know who truely loved me in the waking world?

What song would you like played at your funeral?
GAH! I JUST SAID I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT! [But if I had to choose, Fur Elise by Beethoven]

How would you like to be remembered?
As the love of your life.

Wake me up before you go go..

2006-05-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

Lack of posting Sorry for the lack of posting as of late. I'm up to my eyebrows in work. This past weekend was the March of Dimes event that I had been working so hard on these past couple of months. In short, it was a blast! I have many pics and updates to share with you, but for now I'm going home and going straight to bed cause my body is rejecting the 5.5 miles I walked/jogged yesterday.

What the... ? Whoops! And of course, since I'm clumsy as hell, I hurt myself yesterday during the March of Dimes event. How lovely, how graceful. I have pics of this as well.

Alarms clocks are for to wake up Secret Lover Boy believes in snoozing eleven times before he gets his lazy ass out of bed. Eleven times!??!?! Holy hell, if I have to turn that damn alarm clock off one.. more.. frickin.. time.. GAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I smell like an 80 yr old No offense, T. Leach. Because of my msucle aches, I got bengay'ed by the massage dood at work. Plus - free massage. Minus - smelly old man lotion potion.

I got a promotion of sorts That's right. I'm movin up.. to the exciting world of Travel. Starting next Monday, I'll be training for three weeks to become a Travel Agent for our entire corporate office. I'll still be working up front, but when the head travel lady leaves on vacation or is out of the office for any reason, I'll be up to bat. What this means: more money, more perks, and more traveling! Oh, yeah.. that's right.. you can call me Agent Double-O E.

HNT: Hurts like a thousand bullet wounds.

2006-04-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

I don't need this to tell me I'm dying.

I'm right-handed, too.. so this is more than a little tragic.

It's my phone-answering hand.

It's my most used typing hand.

It's my writing hand.

.. and most importantly, it's my blogging-hand!

How am I supposed to click a mouse with this huge ass paper cut on my pinky?!?

And yes, Snav, that is your 'Chocolate Age' survey I'm working on in the background.

But in the middle of adding 552 to 1756 and dividing by 237, I was distracted by this magazine [aka The Papercut Culprit] :

Worried about half-nekkidness?

Take your shirt off and call him in the morning. Happy HNT!

Office Supply Wednesday: Budweiser and other random thoughts

2006-04-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

Table for One I could devote a whole blogpost on this subject, and I probably will in the near future. You'd think after 26 years of being single, I'd know how to act on a first date. But I'm like a nervous little 5 yr old scared shit-less that he has to go up on stage at the school spelling bee in front of his parents and the whole school knowing good and well that he's going to fuck up the first word he gets, which is probably going to be a tricky word like science*.

Strangers make me nervous Many of you guys wouldn't believe me if I told you [wait.. I'm about to tell you now.. ], but I'm an incredibly shy person when it comes to meeting new people. I get all sweaty and nervous. I don't talk much. I just sit there and listen and laugh at the appropriate times. I'm observing and I'm thinking. I obsessing over the stranger's thoughts. What do they think of me? Am I laughing too loud or too often? Am I smiling enough? Is there anything in my teeth? Is my lipstick straight? Is my eye-makeup smeared? Can they tell what I'm thinking? Am I saying this out loud or just thinking it? Oh, god, I hope I'm not saying this out loud. Am I making eye contact? Am I slouching? Maybe I should sit up straight. Maybe this looks too pretentious? I should slouch casually. How casually is too casually? ... and so on and so on.

I have a new job dootie More on this later, but for now, if you could please refer to me as Agent E, I'd appreciate it.

Office Supply Wednesday OSW has returned to my blog. [yayayya.. audience cheers..]
This kick ass new lighter was purchased at the ever popular dollar store, where nothing's a dollar and everything's cheap.

Bud. Weis. Errrrrr.

*I was chosen as a spelling bee contestant in 5th grade because I knew how to spell "science".

Keeping the weirdness down to a minimum..

2006-04-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, so let's keep the weirdness topic going..

Tattoos I keep a stock of temporary [fake] tattoos around the house. Some are in my dresser drawer, some I've forgotten in old purses in the closet, and some are in my desk drawer next to my art supplies. I'm such an indecisive person, a real tattoo would never suffice. It's a little too permenant for my taste. So, when I'm dancing around my apartment on a random Saturday morning, for example, I'll slap one on and pose in front of the mirror.

This one was taken two weekends ago:

This one is already coming off, but this pic was taken just moments ago here at the office:

Silly underoos I absolutely love buying underwears with silly sayings or fun graphics. From hipsters to thongs to boy shorts, I can't get enough undies. The cotton ones are my "weekend" panties. All others are fair game.

That's it for the weirdness. I'll try to keep it down to a minimum.

Simon Cowell's gonna have a field day with me..

2006-04-21T12:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm not *that* weird. I mean, I'm not the only one who sings in the car while sitting in traffic... but apparently, I'm the only one that records it and puts it on her blog.

I'm reposting these audioblogs because, frankly, I'm not sure you guys got the whole point of these posts. I can't sing. I mean.. I *can*, I'm *able* to sing, but I can't. I think the humor of belting out Nsync or rapping with Nelly speaks.. er sings for itself.

And when audioblogger's not being a bitch and eating your recordings, it's a nice change of pace to hear someone's thoughts rather than read them. Enjoy.

My first ever audioblog started slow, but if you wait out the 3 seconds of silence, it gets good:

"Oh, this gets good.. wait for it.. wait for it.. " Audioblog One

My second audioblog features a rapping session with Eminem and a mexican moment:

"Listen for the sound fx.. " Audioblog Two

For some reason, I had a case of the giggles on my third audioblog. Also, for some reason, I rap again:

"I talk about nothing.. again... " Audioblog Three

HNT: That's odd. :-/

2006-04-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

Oh yes. It's true. I was minding my own business [surfing for prisoner dating sites] and Madmeer tagged my ass. Yup. Right there in the middle of blogland. For everyone to see.

Here's how it all went down:

Madmeer: "I tagged yo ass, DaMasta. Ha!"
DaMasta: "Bitch."
Madmeer: "But you'll do it right?"
DaMasta: "Of course!"

List of Weirdness:
[The instructions are simple. Actually, I don't remember the instructions, so I will make up my own. 1) List weird characteristics about yourself. 2) Done.]

1. I talk with my arms. No.. not with my hands. My a-r-m-s. Benefits chick mentioned the other day that I shouldn't talk so loud because I almost knocked her in the head. And I responded back, oh.. I talk with my hands? And she said, no.. you talk with your arms. So apparently, my arms flail about like a retarded schizophrenic and the louder I get, the bigger the radius of my flail.

2. I'd rather text than talk. I've mentioned in the past that I used over 5,000 text messages a month. Last month, I hit an all-time high at over 8,000 texts in March alone. My cell phone minutes? 146. But luckily I have T-Mobile with unlimited texting and I only pay about $50 a month. Plus I have AIM [Aol Instant Messenger] on my phone for free.

3. I must be a secret agent for the FDA, because I name all my rats after food and/or drugs. Let's see, there's been Juno Burger, Quesa McDilla, and our most recent fatty ratty Chibby Chibberson.

4. I have my own language. I make up words and combine words to make new ones. Ex: tacobelly [what you get if you eat too much Taco Bell], feet pillows [really confortable sandals], ezmailz [ghetto for emails], real estud [a stud in the real estate dept.], Johniffer [a combination of John and Bennifer from the tech support dept, so I can address both of them at once. Bennifer is also a combo word for Ben and his wife Jennifer], tidbits [womanly parts], Paco [my hernia], peekend [the weekend of payday], dorkus [my pet name for you-know-who], beertenders [cute bartenders], etc..

5. If people text me and ask me where I am or what I'm doing, I usually send them a picture message of where I am or what I'm doing. Also, if I'm messing around at home, I'll send my friends stoopid pics of myself. Basically, I'm obsessed with taking pictures of myself. I'll show you what I mean:

*All photos, except the one where my head is in a Captain cut-out cardboard thingy and the one on the beach, were taken by me.

Dammit all to hell..

2006-04-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

I can't get past 19.62 seconds.

Gah.

Escapa!

Weekend Recap

2006-04-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night! I had a date with a dood I met online. I vowed never again. But ya know what Fievel says, "Never say never!" So we went to this happenin' pub in Northwest Houston.. beer, live band, pool.. the works.

Let's see.. the high points of my date:

1. He's *no longer* an alcoholic.
2. He's *almost* done paying off the lease of the house where he used to live with his ex-girlfriend.
3. He's *almost* done living with his parents.
4. He's anti-smoking, anti-drugs, anti-drinking [now].
5. He's 26 and *kinda* bald.

The best compliment I recieved all night: "I'm so glad you're not an air-head."

I think we'd better stick with the "never again" policy.

Later that night I talked the date over with The Cuz, while having a cigarette and getting fugged up on "non" cigarettes.

A honey-ham should never be barbequed The Cuz bought a lovely honey ham for all to enjoy on Easter. And then her stooopid hubby put the whole thing on the BBQ pit to "warm it up a bit." It tasted like a hot dog.

Glitter is a-no fun for any one Every year we have a confetti egg fight. And every year, I forget about the glitter. This year, I admit.. I started the egg fight with a couple of 9 yr old boys. Twenty five seconds later, they ganged up on me. I had to take a shower late last night to wash off the reminents of the confetti egg fight. Let me tell you.. there was glitter where no glitter should e-v-e-r be. Ever.

Note to self: Never start confetti egg fights with 9 yr old boys. They will win.

The city mouse went to the country I went to a small town called Angleton on Easter, which is right outside of Houston. It was actually really relaxing. We sat on the porch swing, talked amongst each other, BBQ'd, read celebrity gossip magazines, and generally had a good time. It was quiet, peaceful, sunny, and cool. Only drawback? Mosquitos. Ack! [my ass itches.. and not in a good way.. ]

Most Wanted

2006-04-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

Today is opposite day.

2006-04-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?
A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Q: How do you fix a women's watch?
A: You don't. There's a clock on the oven.

Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do?
A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A: A women who won't do what she's told.

Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.

HNT: Blurred Vision

2006-04-13T05:21:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday night, Benefits Chick and I headed down to our favorite watering hole where we like to get our drink on and enjoy the scenery [the cute beertenders].

To make a good night great, you need the following ingredients:

After a while, though, your vision gets a little blurred:

Wanna get stoopid? See the man.

Marriage: Who needs it?

2006-04-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

or get married and wish you were dead.

-------------

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

"Husband Wanted".

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."

------------

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

------------

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

------------

Then there was a woman who said,

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

and by then, it was too late."

------------

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

------------

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.

------------

A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man , to Love and to Forgive
him , and for Patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll just beat him to death.

Horny-scopes

2006-04-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 - Feb 19

Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot! Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. But they are also very particular about hyginene, so sleeping around doesn't interest them at all.

PISCES

Feb 20 - March 20

Sexually speaking, Pisces is putty in your hands. Anything you want, anything, is only a question away. If you're looking for somone who will go the extra mile to discover all your secret moan zones, then Pisces is for you!

ARIES

March 21-April 20

Aries is an explosion waiting to happen! The sexual excitement is often in the chase more than the actual conquest though. And while they may appear to want to dominate, they do not want a submissive partner. Routine brings boredom to sex for Aires, so if you're only comfortable with the missionary position, go for another sign. But if you like forceful personalities and enjoy pretending you're a human Preztel, then you've found paradise with an Aries.

TAURUS

April 21 - May 21

When a typical Taurus makes love, it's the most physical and natural pleasure in the world. They believe the romantic approach to sex almost always pays off so they will happily cook dinner, buy flowers, and light candles for someone of their affection. They don't like to rush things and take everything, including sex, slowly.

GEMINI

May 22 - June 21

Talking about sex is Gemini's favorite hobby and doing it comes a close second. Gemini's love flirting and attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that's all they're looking for. They need a lot of variety when it comes to sex - spontaneous weekends away, a quickie in a store stockroom, serious groping under the table at a fancy restaurant.

CANCER

June 22 - July 23

Love and sex go together for Cancer. They need to feel secure in love before they can relax in sex. They are turned on by home cooked meals and partners who love kids. In so many ways, Cancer is the dream partner!

LEO

July 24 - August 23

Leos can be very "into themselves" when they have sex. It's not that they don't make their partner feel speical, it's just that they often forget about them as they secretly high-five themselves for scoring again! They like to perform... and they take requests!

VIRGO

August 24 - September 23

Virgos have two sides to their personality: the Virgin and the Vixen! They may want you to *think* they are all sweet and virginal, but they are definitely *not*! They tend to seduce with finesse, charm and sublety so you may not even realize you're being lured by a Virgo!

LIBRA

September 24 - October 23

Libra is one of the sexiest signs in the zodiac, but if Libra can't get what they want from one lover, they will opt for two or three! They are notorious for having double standards in that situation too. Libras are more turned on by giving than receiving.

SCORPIO

October 24 - November 22

Scorpios are very possessive, and they will tense up if you even *look* at another hottie across the room. Scorpios love sex: the dirtier, the better! Get them excited by revealing your filthiest fantasy and offering to act it out.

SAGITTARIUS

November 23 - December 22

Sags are playful, laid back, and oh-so fun to party with. They are wild, and may be the baddest part people you ever meet! One thing to be wary of is that Sags like to talk a lot of *bullshit*! Don't believe everything they tell you because they are the kings of "talking it up". Sags are spontaneous and adventurous and most have probably been caught doing it somewhere public.

CAPRICORN

December 23 - January 20

Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions, so it's often hard to tell when they are truly, deeply in love. If you have a load of cash, you can almost bet on admiration from a Capricorn because the goat is turned on by money. Capricorn has great sexual stamina and the ability to go all night if they want to!

[By the way, I'm a Capricorn, and Secret Lover Boy is a Pisces! What's your sign?]

Wait a sec... lemme get this straight...

2006-04-11T06:05:00.000-07:00

You sent a bus

to Louisiana

filled with Katrina evacuees

and you brought them back?

And I Can Turn a Grey Sky Blue

2006-04-10T05:50:00.000-07:00

The other night I had a dream about my Long Distance Love. We were trying to put together a puzzle, or figure out a game, .. I couldn't figure out what it was.. and we were on a roller coaster, going around and around.. all the while, not knowing why we were there or how to put together the puzzle. The ride was fun, but it was complicated by the fact that we didn't know how to complete the task at hand.

I consulted my dream encyclopedia and cross referenced "lost" and "rollercoaster" and this is what it said:

"Many times life feels like a journey, and in dreamland, the journey becomes confused. Being lost can symbolize the lack of ability to make choices in your waking life. It can also mean a feeling of isolation or sense that motion is not leading to progress. If you are lost due to motion that does not lead to progress, you may be pretty ambivalent about whether your waking life is meaningful. Your ability to feel effective in life is being compromised in some area that needs a little examination."

Hmm... choices, choices, choices.. I'm such an indecisive person that making choices in my life is an on-going struggle in many areas. I think being the oldest child [and only child for ten years], I'm terrified of failure. Which is ironic, because I've failed so many times in my life, you'd think I'd be used to it by now.

This is one of the reasons why I'm terrified of relationships. I think to myself.. I'm sure I'll fuck it up somehow. I'm sure the blissful feeling at the start of the relationship will wear off and leave us indifferent and resentful.

I wonder how I became so cynical about relationships? I don't come from a broken family, I don't think any of my friends have gone thru a divorce, and I'm not hung up on some old hurtful reltaionship from the past.

Well, you know what they say about facing your fears, right? You should.. uh.. face them. So, I'm doing what any sane person who's deathly afraid of relationships would do... I'm jumping head first into the dating pool. So far, I've met a couple of different people, and as those relationships progress, I'll keep you updated.

Until then, if you have any dreams for my dream encyclopedia to analyze, just ask in the commets!

Toes, baseball, and wrestling

2006-04-07T12:35:00.000-07:00

Toes at work I don't know if I've ever formally mentioned this on my blog or not, but I haaaate feet. Particularly, toes. Oh, I'm all about jeans and flip flops on the weekends, but what really irritates me are co-workers that show their toes at work. EWWWWWWW! Grosses me out to no end. A professional work environment like a corporate office is no place for nekkid toes. And don't you fucking dare ask me if those sandals look cute on you. Unless, of course, you think they would look cute with my barf all over them.

New cell phone I have a new cell phone! I mean, it's just like my other one, just new. I mean, it's not new, it's used, but I got it from eba ... nevermind.

Jenny from the block I'm just like jenny from the block. Except, I used to have a lot, and now I have a little.

Raining on my parade You notice how people always hate on you when you're happy. Like they can't leave well enough alone. I'm happy. I'm doin' mah thing. I'm cool, I'm chill. Then all of a sudden, people are all up in mah grill tryin' to aggrevate me. Trying to make me feel bad for this or sayin' negative things about that or telling me my flip flops don't match my shirt. That's alright. Keep pissing me off. I live in da ghetto. I know kung fu. I will go Chuck Norris on your ass.

Baseball season My most favoritest time of the year. I hope to see some games this year, and I will definitely document them with my new/old/same camera phone. I'll try to keep the baseball posts to a minimum, but I can't promise anything. ;)

Weekend Plans Tonight, about 8 co-workers and I are going to hit up a popular mexifood [damn, do I eat enough mexifood??] joint for some much needed nachos and margaritas. Later on tonight, Benefits Chick, her friend, and I are going to the Laff Stop comedy club again. I'll see if I can make out with another comedian while I'm there. Saturday night has become a ritual with Benefits Chick and I at my favorite bar/grill, where we sit at the bar and enjoy the scenery. The bar's scenery:

Random pics

The elusive Secret Lover Boy:

Chibby Chibberson and I hand wrestled yesterday. I won.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

HNT: Spinny Gal hearts DaMasta: Part Deux

2006-04-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

[Hint: If you scroll down to the bottom, you get straight to the half-nekkidness.

If you're polite, you'll read the post. ;-)]

[This is a continuation from Part One. Wha? You don't wanna read it? Ok, here's the recap: Spinning Girl bought me a gift. And today, we're gonna find out what it is!]

So, I strapped my gift box into the car, and took my prize home!

What was it? Lo and behold: it was Burt Bee's Theraputic Bath Beads!

[From Derma Doctor]

The directions read: Blah, blah, warm, blah, blah, bath, blah, blah, candles, blah, blah, enjoy.

And that's just what I did.

Thank you, Spinning Girl. I luv you more than blog-life itself!

HNT: The Man. The Legend.

Spinny Gal hearts DaMasta: Part One

2006-04-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

Wowza! I just received my first ever blogger present.

[That's where you get a gift from a blogger. Duh. I thought that was self-explanatory.]

Here's how it all went down:

What's in the box?

It was delivered to my desk at 11:50am on March 28, 2006.

I had no. idea. who it was from.

[Ok, I had some idea. Ok, I had all kinds of ideas because she actually told me she was sending it. I just pretended not to know because I like surprises.]

I had to use my laboratory-proven scientific method to make sure the package wasn't a bomb.

[Nope. I didn't hear any ticking.]

Next, I had to break thru the package's force field [packing tape] with my super evil laser weapon [scissors].

[Fun, foamy peanuts! Yayayayaayayayayay! I shall play with those later.]

I can't read, but I'm sure this card says something along the lines of: "Wow, DaMasta, you are the most beautiful of all creatures in the world. I would give my right eyeball just to look half as wonderful as you. You make me smile all the live long day. I wish to roll around in your bed everynight. Love always, Spinning Girl."

After hours and hours of playing with the white foam peanuts, I opened the gift box.

[Anyone know how to get foam peanuts unstuck from your.. uh.. lady regions?]

What is it?

Stay tuned for Thursday's HNT post to find out what Spinning Girl got me as a sorry-you-thought-you-had-a-hernia gift.

Believe you me, you won't be disappointed...

Where did that hour go?

2006-04-02T12:53:00.000-07:00

I can never tell where the lost hour went. Which hour, exactly, did I lose?

Was it the hour of sex on Saturday morning?

Was it the hour I spent trying to keep the smoke alarm from going off while cooking in my apartment on Friday night?

Was it the hour I was trying to avoid this obnoxious drunk guy at the bar Saturday night?

Was it the hour I spent in the heat at the Children's Festival showing spawn how to make sock puppets?

Was it the hour of uncomfortable silence when The Ex showed up unexpectedly at my door at 8:00am on Sunday morning?

Was it the hour I spent doing laundry? [I hope it was that hour]

Was it the hour I spent wishing my Long Distance Love was in bed with me on Saturday night after the bar?

I wonder if it matters. Time is irrevelant, and yet, we're controlled by it. We plan, buy, think, sell, sleep, work, and wake by it. It's all around us, and it's irreplaceable.

Experiements, Sidebar links, and Random Pics

2006-03-31T15:23:00.000-08:00

Remember this experiment? Where I said this:

Harvard. Fraternities. Naked girls. Harvard class schedule. Harvard. Naked. Beer.

Well, I got a hit the other day from the campus of MIT. Not Harvard, but it'll do. See, here's my train of thought: Harvard = Smart = Good education = Great Job = Even greater pay = Big house, maid, and cook = I don't have to work ever again. Let's cross our fingers that, at the very least, Mr. MIT comes back.

My Sidebar links I've been doing a little work on my sidebar. Please check out "Quizes and Shit" and "Welcome to my world" - those include my favorite posts and all the tags I've done thus far. Also, I'm in the process of rearranging my "side dishes" links. Since I can't read, I've been having trouble sorting them alphabetically. So, I've decided to arrange them according to posting-frequency. In other words, if you rarely ever post or if I once liked your blog, but you've now been eaten up by the blogosphere, expect to be near the bottom. If you post nearly daily, expect to be near the top or middle. The 5th circle will always be at the top because that's mah otha blog, yo. Bsoholic will also be near the top cuz he's my best guud blog friend and he's my partner in crime on the 5th.

Corporate Restrooms I have no idea why people try to talk to me while I'm in the restroom. Once you step into the work restroom, there should be a no-talking policy. No no.. no talking.. I don't wanna hear you pee and hear you gossip at the same time. And don't ask me questions now.. I'm peeing for crying out loud! Don't look at me, don't talk to me, just let me pee in peace. Oh, and I think it's absolutely disgusting when I find hair on a toilet seat at work. I don't wanna see hair there. I don't know what body part it came from. And, frankly, I don't wanna know. Sometimes, yes, you can tell... you can tell where the "curlies" came from for instance, but sometimes, you. just. don't. know.

Madmeer One of the funniest blogs e-v-e-r, and I might actually know her.

I made out with Colin Quinn Not that you care or anything, I'm just sayin'.

Selena The young latina pop star died 11 years ago today. I was at her last concert at the Astrodome in Houston. She wore the famous purple outfit.

Chibby's Only Trick

Have a great weekend, everyone. I'm [apparently] going fishing tonight in Galveston, volunteering at The Children's Festival on Saturday, and going out to my fav mexifood/bar joint on Saturday night.

Half Nekkid Thursday: Favorite Drive-thru

2006-03-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

Taco Bell

Oh, how you smell

I can't fit into my jeans

Cause of your flakey little beans

I have a big ole' seat

Cause of your Grade F meat

I got a sauce stain in my car

On my way back from a bar

You are the cheapest place

For to stuff my face

You make me holla

With your nachos for a dolla

I could eat a million Encheritos

And grilled chicken stuffed burritos

Covered with sour cream and cheese

I'll have one more, please

You are the gateway to gastric hell

The one and only, Taco Bell.

Wanna take rediculous pics of yourself waiting in the drive thru line?

Ask Os. He'll explain the rules.

Audioblog Wednesday: Ate my audioblog.

2006-03-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

Since Audiobloger wants to be a prick and eat my audio posts, I'll just have to sit and type this one out.

Today's post is sort of contraversial. I don't particularly like to talk about religion, politics, current events, or more specifically my opinions on such. But today is an exception.

Lately, I've been reading the papers and listening to the radio and watching the news about this Immigration Debate. Now, before I start my little rant, I have to honestly say that I don't know much about the details of the bill, as far as what they expect to do with the illegal immigrants that are already here. I'm simply reacting to what's been going on locally in Houston. And yes, I'm of hispanic descent, but you'd have to bust out an encyclopedia to find any relatives that are actually from Mexico. And I'm not saying whether I'm for or against this particular reform, but again I'm simply reacting to all the drama that's been happening in the media and around town.

I get home yesterday and turn on the t.v., and there they are - young, dumb, hispanic kids saying "We are latino! We are the future! We came here to the United States for a better opportunity! We're here to educate ourselves!"

Why the fuck did you walk out of school, then?!

These hispanic kids are walking out of schools all over the country in order to "protest" this proposed immigration bill. These kids don't even know what the hell is going on! I mean, I don't even know what the hell is going on, so I know damn well they know even less about what is going on. For the most part, in Houston, it's been a pretty peaceful demonstration, but I'm watching the news about the protests in California, and these fucking kids are getting riotous. In many cases, police are involved and there have been injuries, attacks, and many arrests.

What's really fucking hi-larious is that these kids are parading around city hall carrying fucking Mexican flags. Mexican flags!! If you are telling us that you came to America for better opportunity, tired of being oppressed by your own country, can't make enough money there, came here to provide for your family in the best environment possible, why the h-e-l-l are you carrying around Mexcian flags? At a protest? Where we are threatening to send yer asses back to Mexico?!

I bet most of the money that's made by illegal immigrants goes straight back to Mexico, too. Now, this is where I'm torn. I know most of these kids are worried about their grandmothers and elderly relatives that live here, and are upset at the notion of sending them back to Mexico. I mean, I certainly don't want that to happen. But, what I'm talking about here are the male immigrants that are sent here illegally by their families only to earn money under the table who send it back to Mexico to provide for their families. I'm sure they do this, because, think about it, US currency is worth more there than here.

Economically, the direct descendents of these illegal immigrants [people close to my age], are fucking my world up. A couple of years ago, I had lost my apartment, my car, my job.. everything, and decided to go back to school and work part time at a local store in the area. I moved to a poor, mostly-hispanic part of town. I swear to you, I couldn't get one fucking penny from the local food stamp office; I couldn't get housing assistance; and I couldn't get a school loan of any kind. Why? Partly because my tax statement from the year before said I made too much money. But, also, partly because I had to compete with free-loading hispanics [with too many bastard children, no education, no jobs, and no housing] in order to get financial assistance.

It's not like I'm against hispanics or anything, I just don't get why people are so shocked by all this. You are ILLEGAL immigrants. It was ILLEGAL for you to come over here like you did. You KNEW it was illegal when you did it. Now, you have to pay the consequences. Surprise, surprise.

*I've been debating all day on whether to post this or not. But, I'm pretty sure since this is my blog, that I'm allowed to do whatever I want to do. However, if you guys get rowdy in the comments, I will be forced to either stab you myself, or remove your comment. And since blood takes a while to come out of clothes, I'll probably just opt for the removal of your comment.

2006-03-28T06:02:00.000-08:00

Boo-hoo, why me? I was all set to write this long boo-hoo-why-don't-people-choose-me-and-respect-my-time post last night, but I got caught up in blogland and never got a chance to finish it. Then, this morning during my workout, I realized that I am the one making the wrong choices here. I am the one that should choose NOT to waste a whole day off to help my mother, who in turn is going to treat me like shit and tell me that she chooses my 17 YEAR OLD sister's point of view over mine. And I should choose NOT to waste my time waiting for my long-distance love, who has already made it clear that he is NOT going to choose me should it come to that. And, I should choose to say NO to people every once in a while when I feel the need to spend my time on ME. I have to learn to set boundaries for people, or they will continue to take advantage of my generosity.

Moving tip Wow, see how we change gears like that? Keep up. The best boxes for moving your shit from one apartment to another are liquor store boxes. They are small [easy to move] and very strong [they are used to carry glass liquor bottles, duh]. Usually their shipments come in on a Tuesday or Wednesday, and they are more than happy to let you haul off as many as you can fit into yer tiny little [Fuckus].

Correction: I DON'T have a hernia and I'm NOT going to die I went to the doc yesterday and she told me Paco [that's what I named my 'hernia'] is really just a lymph node that is slighty irritated. You see, if you have an infection in your body, such as a cold or some other random illness, sometimes instead of getting sick, your lymph nodes are simply inflamed. Hopefully, this expensive ass prescription will do the trick. If not, she wants to see me back in her office to poke Paco a bit more.

Shark vacuums suck I mean, they DON'T suck, that's the problem. I bought a little piece of shit Shark stick vac, and it only lasted six months. WTF?! I need another vacuum, but I've been everywhere looking for a new one, and now I'm completely confused. Please! help me and tell me what kind to buy. I'm looking for something small and pretty inexpensive, but IT MUST SUCK. Keep in mind that I live in a small one-bedroom, and I don't need a fucking Dyson.

Tag-My-Ass Monday: And now I know my ABC's

2006-03-27T07:20:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've been tagged. I mean, I got tagged Friday night, but I mean, in blogland terms.. it's been a while.

[Break for commercial]
This tag has been brought to you by the blogger Lee ann. She lives in a castle, and she DOESN'T have butt dust. Click the link for more information.
[..and we're back.]

Accent - I've been told I sound like a valley girl from the South. However, due to my job, I interact with New Yorkers all the time, and I think I've picked up a little of their accent.

Booze of choice - At my favorite mexifood joint, there's a frozen drink called the Star-Spangled Spaniard. It comes in a huge ass glass and it's a frozen margarita mixed with several other liquors. I can't hold my alcohol worth a damn, so I'm usally on my ass after just one of those.

Chore I hate - I hate all chores. But when you live by yourself, they aren't called "chores" anymore. It's simply called "shit you have to do cause no one else is gonna do it for you."

A couple of years ago, an older friend of mine was telling me about his 17 year old daughter who was threatening to move out and marry her boyfriend because she was tired of her mother making her do chores and all.
I responded, "Well, she's gonna get a shock when she moves out, gets her own place, and realizes that now she has to do ALL the fucking chores."

Dog or cat - Rat. You guys might remember Chibby Chibberson, my blue hooded rat. She was a rescue, so I don't really know her exact age, but I'd guess about a year old. Rats only live about 2-3 years, and I've had over 10 rats now. I used to be involved in small animal rescue when I had more free time, and I'd travel all over Texas rescuing animals and adopting them back out to better owners.

Here's a pic of Chibby:

I'm an equal opportunity animal lover, though. Growing up, we had a dog. When I left college and moved to Houston, my roommate had a snake, three cats, and a dog. My favorite was the snake. It was a corn snake named Kellogg, and it was the most laid back creature I had ever met. We used to sit on the couch and watch Friends together. Currently, there's a stray cat in my apartment complex that I've grown close to. I've named him Bruno, and sometimes he's waiting for me at my door when I come home.

Essential electronics - Alarm clock, cell phone, computer.

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) – I wear Giorgio Armani Sensi.

Gold or Silver? – Silver. I usually only wear silver. I do have, what I call, "ghetto gold" - that cheapy gold jewelry from Claire's - that I wear if I'm wearing brown or something that wouldn't look right with silver.

Hometown - Houston, Texas

Insomnia? – Never. I love sleep. But on weekends, I have "early wakey up" syndrome because during the week I'm used to waking up at 4:45am, so on the weekends it's hard for me to sleep past 7am. Gah!

Job Title – Receptionist Extrodinaire.

Kids? - Try to avoid them at all costs.

Living Arrangement - Me and Chibby Chibberson. I have a one-bedroom apartment in Houston. People always ask me one of two questions when they hear that I'm single living by myself:
a. Do you ever get scared living by yourself? No. I've lived on my own since I was 18, and it's no big deal to me. I've lived in nice neighborhoods and I've lived in not-so-nice neighborhoods. No, I don't check under my bed or in my closets when I come home from work. No, I don't believe in the boogeyman. No, I don't sleep with any lights on in the house. No, I don't freak out when I hear noises coming from outside.
b. Do you ever get bored/lonely? No. First of all, I'm never really home that much to begin with. I have a standing joke that my apartment is more like a "hotel", just somewhere to sleep. I have plenty of friends/family/'chores' to keep me busy. And when I do get a moment to myself, it's nice to come home and chill out in the peace and quiet.

Most admired trait - I think other people admire the fact that I'm an easy person to get along with, and that I'm pretty generous and giving with my time and/or resources. The trait that gets over-looked most of the time [that I wish wouldn't] is my complete loyalty as a friend.

Number of Sexual Partners - Now? One. Ever? Uh...

Overnight Hospital Stays - None.

Phobia - I get very anxious and short of breath when I'm in a crowded room with people everywhere and there's no comfortable place to sit and not much room to move around. I'm not sure if that's considered claustraphobic, or what, but I'm getting short of breath just thinking about it.

Religion - This is a tricky question. Let's just say, I was raised Catholic and in college I learned about different religions and realized that I'm not so much Catholic anymore. I know I'd never get married in a church, and I think it's silly that we should only be made to give up our vices two months out of the year. Just seems a little rediculous to me. But that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Siblings - Younger sister. Ten years younger.

Time I wake up - 4:45am. Work out from 5am to 6am. At work by 7:20am.

Unusual talent/skill - I'm acutally good at making presentations and speeches. My junior year, I was a corporate communications major at UT. I've taken enough speech classes to last a life time. As a sales manager, I had to conduct meetings and give presentations to execs at the regional office regarding our sales preformance. Working with special events at my current job, I get to do some speaking at company meetings.

Vegetable I refuse to eat - Cooked spinich. I'd rather not eat something that tastes like someone has already chewed it.

Worst habit - I say inappropriate things out loud in public. I get this from my mother, and I try to be discrete, but sometimes I'm on a roll and I don't think before I speak. Ironically, it absolutely irks me when someone else says inappropriate things that, in turn, embarrass me in public.

Yummy foods I make - And by "make", you mean "buy"? Enchiladas verdes from Cafe Adobe, coconut shrimp from Red Lobster, and broccoli and cheese soup from Chili's.

Zodiac sign - Crapricorn.

Here's the part where I tag unsuspecting bloggers:

Madmeer

Snav

Lime

Logo

Bsoholic [ha ha, sucka!]

*Editor's note: I just realized that this was supposed to be like an A-Z thing, but I omitted some questions that I thought were kinda lame. Feel free to visit Lee Ann's blog for the whole list and add them back in if you wish.